--- title: "12 Codependency Quotes By Elizabeth Gilbert" description: "12 Codependency quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert. Plus more from Elizabeth Gilbert and more Codependency sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/773/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-read-today-that-all-addiction-is-a-for_1231801.jpg" --- > [“I read today that all addiction is a form of misplaced worship. I get that. And I’ve certainly done that. I’ve mistaken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-read-today-that-all-addiction-is-a-form-of-misplaced-worship-i-get/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/773/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-read-today-that-all-addiction-is-a-for_1231801.jpg) > [“It was difficult to know where to find comfort, especially since I could no longer medicate myself with my oldest and deepest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/it-was-difficult-to-know-where-to-find-comfort-especially-since-i/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3f/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_it-was-difficult-to-know-where-to-find-c_360879.jpg) > [“People often talk about crawling into the rooms of recovery on their knees, but when I turned to twelve-step for the second…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/people-often-talk-about-crawling-into-the-rooms-of-recovery-on-their/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f76/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_people-often-talk-about-crawling-into-th_1069681.jpg) > [“My mind was spinning around this inflaming and infuriating thought: Why can’t I be a normal person who does normal things like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/my-mind-was-spinning-around-this-inflaming-and-infuriating-thought/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d41/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_my-mind-was-spinning-around-this-inflami_2863120.jpg) > [“Like all sex and love addicts, I can feel someone’s attention and attraction from a hundred yards away—hell, I can feel them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/like-all-sex-and-love-addicts-i-can-feel-someone-s-attention-and/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf3/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_like-all-sex-and-love-addicts-i-can-feel_281116.jpg) > [“My ultimate goal in recovery is not to end up in a healthy relationship with the perfect partner, my ultimate goal in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/my-ultimate-goal-in-recovery-is-not-to-end-up-in-a-healthy/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b1/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_my-ultimate-goal-in-recovery-is-not-to-e_2463942.jpg) > [“It was becoming evident to me that addiction is addiction is addiction—that all the ways in which people binge, hoard, numb, act…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/it-was-becoming-evident-to-me-that-addiction-is-addiction-is/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_it-was-becoming-evident-to-me-that-addic_2098872.jpg) > [“Stepping out of other people’s drama cycles was scary, weird, and difficult for me at first. I felt guilty for keeping the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/stepping-out-of-other-people-s-drama-cycles-was-scary-weird-and/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_stepping-out-of-other-people-s-drama-cyc_440318.jpg) > [“There is a prayer that we recite in those rooms that I love very much. It simply says, “Dear God—thank you for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/there-is-a-prayer-that-we-recite-in-those-rooms-that-i-love-very-much/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4df/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_there-is-a-prayer-that-we-recite-in-thos_2017333.jpg) > [“I find these days that all I want for Rayya anymore—if you can be said to want anything for somebody who has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-find-these-days-that-all-i-want-for-rayya-anymore-if-you-can-be/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63c/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-find-these-days-that-all-i-want-for-ra_2571638.jpg) > [“My own sober dating plan is approximately three pages long, and it includes such items as “NO WEEKLONG FIRST DATES.” My plan…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/my-own-sober-dating-plan-is-approximately-three-pages-long-and-it/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/172/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_my-own-sober-dating-plan-is-approximatel_1566064.jpg) > [“As I listened to the other addicts share their life experiences, I began to hear the story of my own life, told…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/as-i-listened-to-the-other-addicts-share-their-life-experiences-i/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a4/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_as-i-listened-to-the-other-addicts-share_1048005.jpg) ## More by Elizabeth Gilbert > [That's your friend. My husband is my best friend. He's not the mirror that holds up my flaws. He's just the guy who's like,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/that-s-your-friend-my-husband-is-my-best-friend-he-s-not-the-mirror/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“Not to mention that I have finally arrived at that age where a woman starts to question whether the wisest way to get over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/not-to-mention-that-i-have-finally-arrived-at-that-age-where-a-woman/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“The Buddha taught that all human suffering is rooted in desire. Don't we all know this to be true? Any of us who have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/the-buddha-taught-that-all-human-suffering-is-rooted-in-desire-don-t/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [ “And while \[we\] do have possibilities that are vast and magnificent and almost infinite in scope, it's important to remember that our choice-rich lives… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/and-while-we-do-have-possibilities-that-are-vast-and-magnificent-and/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/learn-your-way-around-loneliness-make-a-map-of-it-sit-with-it-for/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [If we never leave our house except to drive to work, do we need to be even remotely aware of this powerful, humbling, extraordinary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/if-we-never-leave-our-house-except-to-drive-to-work-do-we-need-to-be/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [I will tell you why we have these extraordinary minds and souls, Miss Whittaker," he continued, as though he had not heard her. "We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-will-tell-you-why-we-have-these-extraordinary-minds-and-souls-miss/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [Both the five-year-olds looked at me with bewilderment and a bit of fearful uncertainty. I had a sudden horrifying image of the woman I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/both-the-five-year-olds-looked-at-me-with-bewilderment-and-a-bit-of/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/clearing-out-all-your-misery-gets-you-out-of-the-way-you-cease-being/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [The ingredients of both darkness and light are equally present in all of us,...The madness of this planet is largely a result of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/the-ingredients-of-both-darkness-and-light-are-equally-present-in-all/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [I was full of a hot, powerful sadness and would have loved to burst into the comfort of tears, but tried hard not to,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-was-full-of-a-hot-powerful-sadness-and-would-have-loved-to-burst/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“I live in nature where everything is connected, circular. The seasons are circular. The planet is circular, and so is the planet around the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-live-in-nature-where-everything-is-connected-circular-the-seasons/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“His spelling was several degrees beyond arbitrary, and his punctuation brought reason to sigh with unhappiness. But”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/his-spelling-was-several-degrees-beyond-arbitrary-and-his-punctuation/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [Before you realize this truth, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, a notion nicely expressed in this exasperated line from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/before-you-realize-this-truth-say-the-yogis-you-will-always-be-in/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [I actually have a great deal of respect for antidepressants; I think they can be enormously mighty tools toward recovery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-actually-have-a-great-deal-of-respect-for-antidepressants-i-think/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/codependency/elizabeth-gilbert/#itemlist", "name": "12 Codependency Quotes By Elizabeth Gilbert", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I read today that all addiction is a form of misplaced worship. 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That’s when I heard Rayya’s voice. “Because you aren’t normal, babe,” she said. “You’re an addict. 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In fact, I don’t think there’s a single room in the twelve-step universe that I don’t relate to or qualify for, at some level or another, because my anxious mind never stops looking for ways to escape its host of human dilemmas.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/it-was-becoming-evident-to-me-that-addiction-is-addiction-is/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_it-was-becoming-evident-to-me-that-addic_2098872.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_it-was-becoming-evident-to-me-that-addic_2098872.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cab/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_it-was-becoming-evident-to-me-that-addic_2098872.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It was becoming evident to me that addiction is addiction is addiction—that all the ways in which people…” — Elizabeth Gilbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Stepping out of other people’s drama cycles was scary, weird, and difficult for me at first. I felt guilty for keeping the focus on myself, and I wondered how anyone could possibly survive without my overinvolvement in their lives. (Spoiler alert: They all survived. And I gradually started hanging out with healthier people.)”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/stepping-out-of-other-people-s-drama-cycles-was-scary-weird-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_stepping-out-of-other-people-s-drama-cyc_440318.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_stepping-out-of-other-people-s-drama-cyc_440318.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_stepping-out-of-other-people-s-drama-cyc_440318.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Stepping out of other people’s drama cycles was scary, weird, and difficult for me at first. I felt guilty…” — Elizabeth Gilbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There is a prayer that we recite in those rooms that I love very much. It simply says, “Dear God—thank you for all that has been given, for all that has been taken away, and for all that remains.” Like many gratefully recovering addicts, I stand in amazement at all that remains—astonished that I was allowed to keep anything, after all my many years of madness and acting out. By all rights, I should have lost absolutely everything in the course of my various and sundry maelstroms and upheavals. Many people with minds as disordered as mine have indeed lost everything.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/there-is-a-prayer-that-we-recite-in-those-rooms-that-i-love-very-much/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4df/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_there-is-a-prayer-that-we-recite-in-thos_2017333.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4df/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_there-is-a-prayer-that-we-recite-in-thos_2017333.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4df/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_there-is-a-prayer-that-we-recite-in-thos_2017333.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is a prayer that we recite in those rooms that I love very much. It simply says, “Dear God—thank you…” — Elizabeth Gilbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I find these days that all I want for Rayya anymore—if you can be said to want anything for somebody who has been dead for more than six years—is that she be free. Utterly and totally free. “True love always liberates the beloved,” says my friend Martha Beck, and only now do I feel that I understand the generous, unfettered spirit behind these words. I want Rayya to be free from the need to take care of me or anybody else—even from beyond the grave. I want her to be free to vanish into the eternal mystery with all her ancestors, and to become music—because that is what she always wanted to be. And I can feel that Rayya wants me to be free, too. She wants me to live autonomously and happily and peacefully on this side of the divide— in a world that I have finally come to accept as my own, and from which I am no longer trying to escape. (It’s not such a bad world, actually, once you surrender to reality, and once you finally start showing up for your own care.)”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-find-these-days-that-all-i-want-for-rayya-anymore-if-you-can-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63c/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-find-these-days-that-all-i-want-for-ra_2571638.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63c/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-find-these-days-that-all-i-want-for-ra_2571638.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63c/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-find-these-days-that-all-i-want-for-ra_2571638.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I find these days that all I want for Rayya anymore—if you can be said to want anything for somebody who has…” — Elizabeth Gilbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“My own sober dating plan is approximately three pages long, and it includes such items as “NO WEEKLONG FIRST DATES.” My plan also forbids me from texting obsessively between dates, dropping any existing plans or projects because of a new relationship, falling into fantasy with someone I have met in my travels (aka not in real life), moving virtual strangers into my home, trying to rescue unrecovered alcoholics or drug addicts; buying expensive gifts for new lovers; or sharing bank accounts with anyone, ever. If all this sounds boring, or feels like it removes the spontaneity and intensity from romance, that is exactly the point. Spontaneity, for sex and love addicts, is exceedingly dangerous, and intensity is something I am wise to avoid.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/my-own-sober-dating-plan-is-approximately-three-pages-long-and-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/172/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_my-own-sober-dating-plan-is-approximatel_1566064.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/172/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_my-own-sober-dating-plan-is-approximatel_1566064.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/172/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_my-own-sober-dating-plan-is-approximatel_1566064.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My own sober dating plan is approximately three pages long, and it includes such items as “NO WEEKLONG FIRST…” — Elizabeth Gilbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“As I listened to the other addicts share their life experiences, I began to hear the story of my own life, told in a hundred different voices. I heard from people who’d had some of the same painful childhood experiences as me, which had led them into the same unmanageable behaviors and compulsions. I heard from people who, just like me, had blown up marriage after marriage—their own marriages and the marriages of others. I heard from people who’d lost their jobs, their sanity, or all their money and belongings because of their obsession with some person or another. (“I took one look at that guy from across the bar and said, ‘I would follow that man straight to hell’—and then I did!” said one woman, while the rest of us nodded in quiet understanding.) I heard from people who had been living in desperate yearning for decades with partners who were emotionally unavailable, or who had lived their whole lives in degrading servitude to people who did not respect them or love them back, or who were pining in fantasy about relationships that had ended years earlier. I heard from people who had traded sex for love, or love for sex, or both for money. I heard about insecure attachment style and avoidance and unconscious compliance. I heard about emotional anorexia and cortisol addiction. I heard terms I’d never heard before but that immediately made sense to me (because I’d been doing those things for years but didn’t know they had names): love bombing, trauma bombing, attention pulling, ecstatic recall, digital stalking, insta-macy. I heard about assigning magical qualities to others and making them into your higher power. I heard about mistaking pity, lust, or loneliness for love. I heard about sexualizing our feelings of guilt, shame, fear, rage, and grief. I heard about rape, abuse, pregnancies, venereal diseases, pornography, prostitution, suicide, violence . . . I did not hear a single thing in those meetings that I could not identify with at some level. In fact, to this day, I have still never heard anything in any twelve-step meeting that shocks me. Whenever I hear people talking about their most self-destructive behaviors, I’m either like, “Yeah, I’ve done that” or “Yeah, I would probably do that” or “Yeah, I can see why someone would do that, given the chance.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/as-i-listened-to-the-other-addicts-share-their-life-experiences-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a4/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_as-i-listened-to-the-other-addicts-share_1048005.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a4/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_as-i-listened-to-the-other-addicts-share_1048005.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a4/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_as-i-listened-to-the-other-addicts-share_1048005.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As I listened to the other addicts share their life experiences, I began to hear the story of my own life…” — Elizabeth Gilbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/codependency/elizabeth-gilbert/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/codependency/elizabeth-gilbert/", "name": "Codependency Quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/codependency/elizabeth-gilbert/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/773/elizabeth-gilbert-131_addiction_i-read-today-that-all-addiction-is-a-for_1231801.jpg" }, "description": "12 Codependency quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert. 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