---
title: "2 Clap Quotes By Doug Stanhope"
description: "2 Clap quotes by Doug Stanhope. Plus more from Doug Stanhope and more Clap sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/doug-stanhope-1528_clap_pussy-really-is-the-ultimate-motivator-o_698881.png"
---

> [Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/pussy-really-is-the-ultimate-motivator-of-all-mankind-no-don-t-clap/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/doug-stanhope-1528_clap_pussy-really-is-the-ultimate-motivator-o_698881.png)

> [If I say f\*\*\* the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f\*\*\*. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/if-i-say-f-the-government-some-will-clap-because-they-agree-and-some/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15e/doug-stanhope-1528_agree_if-i-say-f-the-government-some-will-clap_2836815.png)

## More by Doug Stanhope

> [I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-had-no-musical-or-athletic-ability-and-i-wasn-t-particularly-good/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/jesus-died-for-your-sins-i-m-doing-it-for-your-mere-entertainment/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-believe-that-everyone-should-be-treated-as-an-individual-women/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/they-say-life-is-precious-to-who-to-you-when-you-re-young-and-you-ve/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/the-ultimate-act-of-cowardice-is-the-fat-headed-wrestling-guy-sitting/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/there-s-no-such-thing-as-addiction-there-s-only-things-that-you-enjoy/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [ The whole acting and Hollywood \[thing\], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/the-whole-acting-and-hollywood-thing-it-s-just-work-to-me-stand-up/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/you-should-laugh-everywhere-you-can-find-even-the-slightest-glimmer/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-have-no-fear-of-death-except-i-hate-waiting-for-it/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/everybody-s-angry-they-ve-got-nothing-to-be-angry-at-so-they-re-angry/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/people-who-want-to-kill-other-people-are-the-last-people-i-want-to/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/democracy-is-the-worst-kind-of-government-i-m-sorry-would-you-still/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/you-forget-when-you-re-in-the-scandinavian-countries-you-forget-they/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/life-s-temporary-for-a-reason-it-gets-boring-after-awhile/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

> [The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/the-more-business-gets-involved-the-less-fun-it-is/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

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