---
title: "4 Cigarette Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield"
description: "4 Cigarette quotes by Rodney Dangerfield. Plus more from Rodney Dangerfield and more Cigarette sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/rodney-dangerfield-755_cigarette_with-my-wife-i-get-no-respect-i-fell-asl_814182.jpg"
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> [With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/with-my-wife-i-get-no-respect-i-fell-asleep-with-a-cigarette-in-my/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/rodney-dangerfield-755_cigarette_with-my-wife-i-get-no-respect-i-fell-asl_814182.jpg)

> [I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-asked-my-wife-if-she-enjoys-a-cigarette-after-sex-and-she-said-no/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/252/rodney-dangerfield-755_cigarette_i-asked-my-wife-if-she-enjoys-a-cigarett_836066.jpg)

> [At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/at-certain-times-i-like-sex-like-after-a-cigarette/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d8/rodney-dangerfield-755_certain_at-certain-times-i-like-sex-like-after-a_2808449.jpg)

> [I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-met-the-surgeon-general-he-offered-me-a-cigarette/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/731/rodney-dangerfield-755_cigarette_i-met-the-surgeon-general-he-offered-me_3133372.jpg)

## Other authors on Cigarette

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-joe-eszterhas-50411.jpg) Joe Eszterhas 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/joe-eszterhas/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-richelle-mead-78985.jpg) Richelle Mead 9 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/richelle-mead/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-loni-anderson-61060.jpg) Loni Anderson 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/loni-anderson/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-charles-bukowski-22166.jpg) Charles Bukowski 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/charles-bukowski/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-p-j-o-rourke-184.jpg) P. J. O'Rourke 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/p-j-o-rourke/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b012/author-immanuel-wallerstein-44301.jpg) Andre Calantzopoulos 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/andre-calantzopoulos/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-r-j-reynolds-76602.jpg) R. J. Reynolds 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/r-j-reynolds/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-ozzy-osbourne-73020.jpg) Ozzy Osbourne 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/ozzy-osbourne/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-margaret-atwood-63354.jpg) Margaret Atwood 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/margaret-atwood/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-john-green-51499.jpg) John Green 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/john-green/)

## More by Rodney Dangerfield

> [For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/for-christmas-one-year-i-bought-my-son-a-bb-gun-he-bought-me-a-t/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-knew-a-girl-so-ugly-she-had-a-face-like-a-saint-a-saint-bernard/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/every-time-i-get-in-an-elevator-the-operator-says-the-same-thing-to/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/my-wife-and-i-were-happy-for-20-years-then-we-met/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/she-failed-her-drivers-test-she-couldn-t-get-used-to-the-front-seat/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-tell-ya-when-i-was-a-kid-all-i-knew-was-rejection-my-yo-yo-it-never/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-don-t-care-how-rich-and-successful-a-man-is-he-s-nothing-without-an/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-went-to-a-massage-parlor-it-was-self-service/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/what-a-childhood-i-had-my-parents-sent-me-to-a-child-psychiatrist-the/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/she-was-so-fat-that-her-belly-button-makes-an-echo/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/one-night-i-came-home-i-figured-let-my-wife-come-on-i-ll-play-it-cool/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-m-a-bad-lover-once-i-caught-a-peeping-tom-booing-me/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-tell-ya-i-knew-my-morning-wasn-t-going-right-when-i-put-on-my-shirt/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/my-wife-has-teeth-like-the-stars-they-come-out-at-night/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/it-s-tough-to-stay-married-my-wife-kisses-the-dog-on-the-lips-yet-she/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

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