--- title: "4 Cigarette Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "4 Cigarette quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Cigarette sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e32/dave-barry-222_addict_i-did-all-this-stuff-that-was-illegal-wh_355330.png" --- > [I did all this stuff that was illegal when I was a kid. I drank beer when I was 15. I smoked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-did-all-this-stuff-that-was-illegal-when-i-was-a-kid-i-drank-beer/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e32/dave-barry-222_addict_i-did-all-this-stuff-that-was-illegal-wh_355330.png) > [Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/found-a-smoldering-cigarette-left-by-a-horse/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/148/dave-barry-222_cigarette_found-a-smoldering-cigarette-left-by-a-h_1002490.png) > [Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/cigarette-sales-would-drop-to-zero-overnight-if-the-warning-said/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/799/dave-barry-222_cigar_cigarette-sales-would-drop-to-zero-overn_2594418.png) > [In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-my-experience-you-run-into-trouble-when-you-ask-a-group-of-beer/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05d/dave-barry-222_alcohol_in-my-experience-you-run-into-trouble-wh_3132448.png) ## Other authors on Cigarette - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-joe-eszterhas-50411.jpg) Joe Eszterhas 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/joe-eszterhas/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-richelle-mead-78985.jpg) Richelle Mead 9 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/richelle-mead/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-loni-anderson-61060.jpg) Loni Anderson 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/loni-anderson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-charles-bukowski-22166.jpg) Charles Bukowski 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/charles-bukowski/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-p-j-o-rourke-184.jpg) P. J. O'Rourke 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/p-j-o-rourke/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b012/author-immanuel-wallerstein-44301.jpg) Andre Calantzopoulos 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/andre-calantzopoulos/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-r-j-reynolds-76602.jpg) R. J. Reynolds 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/r-j-reynolds/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-ozzy-osbourne-73020.jpg) Ozzy Osbourne 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/ozzy-osbourne/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-margaret-atwood-63354.jpg) Margaret Atwood 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/margaret-atwood/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-john-green-51499.jpg) John Green 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/john-green/) ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cigarette/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "4 Cigarette Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I did all this stuff that was illegal when I was a kid. 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