--- title: "1 Chests Quotes By Zach Braff" description: "1 Chests quotes by Zach Braff. Plus more from Zach Braff and more Chests sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/128/zach-braff-854_beats_first-i-took-a-crap-on-the-hooker-s-ches_1085500.jpg" --- > [First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/first-i-took-a-crap-on-the-hooker-s-chest-then-i-told-her-i-d-pay-her/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/128/zach-braff-854_beats_first-i-took-a-crap-on-the-hooker-s-ches_1085500.jpg) ## Other authors on Chests ## More by Zach Braff > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-greatest-charity-you-can-contribute-to-is-yourself-instead-of/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/when-you-re-the-director-and-the-writer-you-never-have-to-remember/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/yea-he-s-alright-but-he-s-no-zach-braff/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/it-was-really-starting-to-get-pathetic-everyday-they-would-come-in/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/people-ask-me-did-the-fame-come-too-fast-do-you-ever-wish-for-your/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/i-wouldn-t-exactly-call-it-intelligent-but-somebody-has-to-be-behind/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/people-have-called-me-fake-but-personally-i-don-t-think-i-m-fake/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/when-things-seem-to-be-slowing-down-there-s-this-little-trick-i-like/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/i-want-to-take-piano-lessons-i-want-to-study-at-university-i-want-to/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/if-john-mccain-were-really-a-war-hero-he-would-ve-won-vietnam/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/if-i-could-change-anything-about-garden-state-it-would-be-to-cast/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/well-it-s-not-that-i-hate-them-but-honestly-if-i-saw-two-homeless/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [I never looked at bread the same way again](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/i-never-looked-at-bread-the-same-way-again/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/i-don-t-belive-oprah-s-sexual-abuse-stories-i-mean-who-would-take-a/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chests/zach-braff/#itemlist", "name": "1 Chests Quotes By Zach Braff", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. 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