---
title: "14 Car Quotes By Erma Bombeck"
description: "14 Car quotes by Erma Bombeck. Plus more from Erma Bombeck and more Car sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26b/erma-bombeck-780_birth_never-lend-your-car-to-anyone-to-whom-yo_2761659.png"
---

> [Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/never-lend-your-car-to-anyone-to-whom-you-have-given-birth/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26b/erma-bombeck-780_birth_never-lend-your-car-to-anyone-to-whom-yo_2761659.png)

> [Never have more children than you have car windows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/never-have-more-children-than-you-have-car-windows/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/681/erma-bombeck-780_car_never-have-more-children-than-you-have-c_3228050.png)

> [Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/marriage-has-no-guarantees-if-that-s-what-you-re-looking-for-go-live/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20d/erma-bombeck-780_battery_marriage-has-no-guarantees-if-that-s-wha_2056504.png)

> [Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/car-designers-are-just-going-to-have-to-come-up-with-an-automobile/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c9/erma-bombeck-780_automobile_car-designers-are-just-going-to-have-to_2357810.png)

> [Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/never-loan-your-car-to-anyone-to-whom-you-ve-given-birth/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b85/erma-bombeck-780_birth_never-loan-your-car-to-anyone-to-whom-yo_1240071.png)

> [Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/onion-rings-in-the-car-cushions-do-not-improve-with-time/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a7/erma-bombeck-780_car_onion-rings-in-the-car-cushions-do-not-i_2621075.png)

> [It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/it-goes-without-saying-that-you-should-never-have-more-children-than/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c74/erma-bombeck-780_car_it-goes-without-saying-that-you-should-n_2076678.png)

> [When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/when-children-reach-the-age-of-sixteen-they-discover-the-meaning-of/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eef/erma-bombeck-780_adolescence_when-children-reach-the-age-of-sixteen-t_1397546.png)

> [I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-firmly-believe-kids-don-t-want-your-understanding-they-want-your/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d4/erma-bombeck-780_believe_i-firmly-believe-kids-don-t-want-your-un_415300.png)

> [My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/my-kids-always-perceived-the-bathroom-as-a-place-where-you-wait-it/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/649/erma-bombeck-780_bathroom_my-kids-always-perceived-the-bathroom-as_706936.png)

> [I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-learned-the-importance-of-a-man-s-chair-early-in-life-i-learned/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4f/erma-bombeck-780_being-true_i-learned-the-importance-of-a-man-s-chai_411671.jpg)

> [He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/he-opened-the-jar-of-pickles-when-no-one-else-could-he-was-the-only/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c9/erma-bombeck-780_basements_he-opened-the-jar-of-pickles-when-no-one_1546495.png)

> [I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-have-finally-mastered-what-to-do-with-the-second-tennis-ball-having/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4a/erma-bombeck-780_balls_i-have-finally-mastered-what-to-do-with_1617974.png)

> [Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/family-life-got-better-and-we-got-our-car-back-as-soon-as-we-put-i/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4a/erma-bombeck-780_car_family-life-got-better-and-we-got-our-ca_2129772.png)

## Other authors on Car

## More by Erma Bombeck

> [Cats invented self-esteem.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/cats-invented-self-esteem/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/to-my-way-of-thinking-the-american-family-started-to-decline-when/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/the-woman-who-says-my-kids-are-all-speaking-to-one-another-and-they/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [The term 'working mother' is redundant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/the-term-working-mother-is-redundant/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/to-say-well-i-write-when-i-really-get-into-it-is-a-bunch-of-bull-put/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [I used everything you gave me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-used-everything-you-gave-me/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/just-think-of-all-those-women-on-the-titanic-who-said-no-thank-you-to/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/the-mole-rat-is-the-only-rodent-born-without-a-fur-coat-with-a-good/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [God created man, but I could do better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/god-created-man-but-i-could-do-better/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/if-the-nest-is-truly-empty-who-owns-all-this-junk/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/housework-if-it-is-done-properly-can-cause-brain-damage/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/making-coffee-has-become-the-great-compromise-of-the-decade-it-s-the/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/i-have-a-friend-who-lives-by-a-three-word-philosophy-seize-the-moment/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/when-i-stand-before-god-at-the-end-of-my-life-i-would-hope-that-i/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

> [Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/before-we-sent-kids-to-computer-camps-and-told-them-they-were-having/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

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