---
title: "5 Buddy Quotes By Bill Engvall"
description: "5 Buddy quotes by Bill Engvall. Plus more from Bill Engvall and more Buddy sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc4/bill-engvall-8106_buddies_i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the_206951.jpg"
---

> [I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the-sex-i-could-be-gay-hell-then/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc4/bill-engvall-8106_buddies_i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the_206951.jpg)

> [I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-buddy-and-there-s-a-guy-driving/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-bud_364166.jpg)

> [A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/a-couple-of-months-ago-i-went-fishing-with-a-buddy-of-mine-we-pulled/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb8/bill-engvall-8106_bass_a-couple-of-months-ago-i-went-fishing-wi_519443.jpg)

> [That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/that-s-why-they-re-man-s-best-friend-cause-guys-want-buddies-that-are/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80f/bill-engvall-8106_best-friend_that-s-why-they-re-man-s-best-friend-cau_1191349.jpg)

> [I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-might-have-tried-bungee-jumping-until-i-saw-that-video-of-that-guy/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fd/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-might-have-tried-bungee-jumping-until_1766610.jpg)

## Other authors on Buddy

## More by Bill Engvall

> [I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-am-out-in-public-and-using-the-phone-i-am-in-a-phone-booth-got-the/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I go 'what is it?' And she goes 'we're going on a shark feeding frenzy!' Okay, wait... we're in a boat looking down in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-go-what-is-it-and-she-goes-we-re-going-on-a-shark-feeding-frenzy/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/ketchup-is-great-on-hamburgers-but-if-some-gets-on-your-shirt-that/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/ma-am-when-i-got-up-this-morning-i-didn-t-want-to-be-jackass-you-just/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/went-to-the-grocery-store-got-everything-on-my-list-and-went-up-to/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [“its a dork fish”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/its-a-dork-fish/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-watching-one-of-those-animal-shows-on-the-discovery-channel/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the-sex-i-could-be-gay-hell-then/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/he-knows-all-the-golf-lingo-you-know-you-hit-your-ball-he-s-like/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [God was havin' himself a good day when he made boobs. He must've stepped back from Eve and said, Yes ma'am! Those'll work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/god-was-havin-himself-a-good-day-when-he-made-boobs-he-must-ve/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Remember: Greed is a bad color on a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/remember-greed-is-a-bad-color-on-a-person/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-buddy-and-there-s-a-guy-driving/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/it-s-like-before-my-wife-and-i-moved-our-house-was-full-of-boxes-and/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I was always the Class Clown and over time became very good at it. I started doing comedy on stage at the Dallas Comedy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-always-the-class-clown-and-over-time-became-very-good-at-it-i/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I've never read a kayak manual, but I'm pretty sure page one says 'Use in water.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-ve-never-read-a-kayak-manual-but-i-m-pretty-sure-page-one-says-use/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/#itemlist",
            "name": "5 Buddy Quotes By Bill Engvall",
            "numberOfItems": 5,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bill Engvall"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the-sex-i-could-be-gay-hell-then/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc4/bill-engvall-8106_buddies_i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the_206951.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc4/bill-engvall-8106_buddies_i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the_206951.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc4/bill-engvall-8106_buddies_i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the_206951.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your…” — Bill Engvall",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood. My buddy says to me you think he's been hunting? Nope, They're probably giving them away with the purchase of every jeep. Here's your sign!",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bill Engvall"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-buddy-and-there-s-a-guy-driving/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-bud_364166.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-bud_364166.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-bud_364166.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer…” — Bill Engvall",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y'all catch all them fish? Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bill Engvall"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/a-couple-of-months-ago-i-went-fishing-with-a-buddy-of-mine-we-pulled/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb8/bill-engvall-8106_bass_a-couple-of-months-ago-i-went-fishing-wi_519443.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb8/bill-engvall-8106_bass_a-couple-of-months-ago-i-went-fishing-wi_519443.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb8/bill-engvall-8106_bass_a-couple-of-months-ago-i-went-fishing-wi_519443.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up…” — Bill Engvall",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bill Engvall"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/that-s-why-they-re-man-s-best-friend-cause-guys-want-buddies-that-are/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80f/bill-engvall-8106_best-friend_that-s-why-they-re-man-s-best-friend-cau_1191349.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80f/bill-engvall-8106_best-friend_that-s-why-they-re-man-s-best-friend-cau_1191349.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80f/bill-engvall-8106_best-friend_that-s-why-they-re-man-s-best-friend-cau_1191349.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women…” — Bill Engvall",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. 'Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up...' WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? 'All right dude, you're up.'",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bill Engvall"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-might-have-tried-bungee-jumping-until-i-saw-that-video-of-that-guy/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fd/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-might-have-tried-bungee-jumping-until_1766610.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fd/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-might-have-tried-bungee-jumping-until_1766610.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fd/bill-engvall-8106_buddy_i-might-have-tried-bungee-jumping-until_1766610.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know…” — Bill Engvall",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/",
            "name": "Buddy Quotes by Bill Engvall",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc4/bill-engvall-8106_buddies_i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the_206951.jpg"
            },
            "description": "5 Buddy quotes by Bill Engvall. Plus more from Bill Engvall and more Buddy sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Buddy",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Bill Engvall",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddy/bill-engvall/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```