--- title: "1 Boner Quotes By Tim Dorsey" description: "1 Boner quotes by Tim Dorsey. Plus more from Tim Dorsey and more Boner sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/tim-dorsey-12537_boner_i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-th_2597353.png" --- > [“I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-thinking-about-it/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/tim-dorsey-12537_boner_i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-th_2597353.png) ## More by Tim Dorsey > [“Your mom's not that bad," said Jim. "Are you trying to make me mad?" "Okay she is." "I knew it. You've never liked her."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/your-mom-s-not-that-bad-said-jim-are-you-trying-to-make-me-mad-okay/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“The last door on the second story was the exception. Fresh gold letters: MAHONEY & ASSOCIATES, PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS. Mahoney sat inside. The only associate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/the-last-door-on-the-second-story-was-the-exception-fresh-gold/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [Hang on to your dreams with everything you got. Because the best life is when your dreams come true. The second-best is when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/hang-on-to-your-dreams-with-everything-you-got-because-the-best-life/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [The whole family is a bunch of dangerous freaks...Most are ex-cons or junkies or deranged from inbreeding. Five have died violently, three are back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/the-whole-family-is-a-bunch-of-dangerous-freaks-most-are-ex-cons-or/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [But instead they tell you they'll come to fix your cable between noon and five, and I say, okay, I'll pay my next bill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/but-instead-they-tell-you-they-ll-come-to-fix-your-cable-between-noon/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“I can buy a shotgun any time of day without the slightest background check, but if I need something for my sniffles, it’s six…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-can-buy-a-shotgun-any-time-of-day-without-the-slightest-background/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Do you think heaven's like that? Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we're not going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/do-you-think-heaven-s-like-that-could-be-worse-said-serge-you-know/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Yes, give us books about the psychotic behavior and peripheral weirdness we see all around every day -- and we will laugh in its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/yes-give-us-books-about-the-psychotic-behavior-and-peripheral/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“The television was on Florida Cable News. A gray-haired man behind the anchor desk reported near tragedy at a state motor vehicle office, where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/the-television-was-on-florida-cable-news-a-gray-haired-man-behind-the/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“I realize the congressman isn't in. I want you to deliver this message to him personally: Tell him to shut his goddamn mouth!... I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-realize-the-congressman-isn-t-in-i-want-you-to-deliver-this-message/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida. Then it got weird.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/a-prosthetic-leg-with-a-willie-nelson-bumper-sticker-washed-ashore-on/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“I smell panic," said Serge. "These are different animals now. They're starting to winnow out the weak at the fringe of the herd. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-smell-panic-said-serge-these-are-different-animals-now-they-re/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Serge bowed his own head and closed his eyes "God, please protect us from your followers. Amen”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/serge-bowed-his-own-head-and-closed-his-eyes-god-please-protect-us/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Minimum was valuable to McJagger, first, because he’d sold 42 percent of all the trailers in Vista Isles, getting an average of sixty thousand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/minimum-was-valuable-to-mcjagger-first-because-he-d-sold-42-percent/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows-of-orange-trees-millions-of/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boner/tim-dorsey/#itemlist", "name": "1 Boner Quotes By Tim Dorsey", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Dorsey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-thinking-about-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/tim-dorsey-12537_boner_i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-th_2597353.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/tim-dorsey-12537_boner_i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-th_2597353.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/tim-dorsey-12537_boner_i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-th_2597353.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.” — Tim Dorsey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boner/tim-dorsey/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boner/tim-dorsey/", "name": "Boner Quotes by Tim Dorsey", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boner/tim-dorsey/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/tim-dorsey-12537_boner_i-m-getting-a-diamond-hard-boner-just-th_2597353.png" }, "description": "1 Boner quotes by Tim Dorsey. 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