--- title: "12 Boat Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "12 Boat quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Boat sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60d/dave-barry-222_boat_it-takes-a-minimum-of-six-people-working_1768592.png" --- > [It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/it-takes-a-minimum-of-six-people-working-in-close-harmony-to/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60d/dave-barry-222_boat_it-takes-a-minimum-of-six-people-working_1768592.png) > [He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-s-a-boating-enthusiast-although-that-phrase-seems-too-weak-to/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/89f/dave-barry-222_boat_he-s-a-boating-enthusiast-although-that_3082237.png) > [You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/you-have-to-be-careful-on-the-deck-because-of-the-hatches-which-are/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84d/dave-barry-222_be-careful_you-have-to-be-careful-on-the-deck-becau_2123870.jpg) > [Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/sailboats-are-the-slowest-form-of-transportation-on-earth-with-the/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4aa/dave-barry-222_air-travel_sailboats-are-the-slowest-form-of-transp_467802.png) > [The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-books-all-say-that-barracuda-rarely-eat-people-but-very-few/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e90/dave-barry-222_boat_the-books-all-say-that-barracuda-rarely_1158821.png) > [Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/fortunately-the-boat-we-rented-had-a-motor-in-it-you-will-definitely/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/dave-barry-222_beer_fortunately-the-boat-we-rented-had-a-mot_75880.png) > [But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/but-if-i-hadn-t-shoved-you-off-the-boat-back-there-you-d-be-lost-at/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/dave-barry-222_boat_but-if-i-hadn-t-shoved-you-off-the-boat_1215366.jpg) > [There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/there-is-nothing-as-relaxing-as-being-out-on-the-open-sea-listening/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6f/dave-barry-222_boat_there-is-nothing-as-relaxing-as-being-ou_1629922.png) > [Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/millions-of-americans-own-dogs-because-they-are-good-natured-simple/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/264/dave-barry-222_amused_millions-of-americans-own-dogs-because-t_2509022.png) > [It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/it-was-not-easy-victory-in-the-america-cup-our-boys-spent-years/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/461/dave-barry-222_america_it-was-not-easy-victory-in-the-america-c_617510.png) > [I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-shared-this-insight-with-some-other-boat-owners-and-they-all-agreed/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/dave-barry-222_asking_i-shared-this-insight-with-some-other-bo_1232111.png) > [Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/here-in-miami-on-weekends-amusement-seekers-will-come-to-the-marina/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/dave-barry-222_amusement_here-in-miami-on-weekends-amusement-seek_3190382.png) ## Other authors on Boat ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boat/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "12 Boat Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. 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"https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/fortunately-the-boat-we-rented-had-a-motor-in-it-you-will-definitely/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/dave-barry-222_beer_fortunately-the-boat-we-rented-had-a-mot_75880.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/dave-barry-222_beer_fortunately-the-boat-we-rented-had-a-mot_75880.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/dave-barry-222_beer_fortunately-the-boat-we-rented-had-a-mot_75880.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land.\" (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/but-if-i-hadn-t-shoved-you-off-the-boat-back-there-you-d-be-lost-at/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/dave-barry-222_boat_but-if-i-hadn-t-shoved-you-off-the-boat_1215366.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/dave-barry-222_boat_but-if-i-hadn-t-shoved-you-off-the-boat_1215366.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/dave-barry-222_boat_but-if-i-hadn-t-shoved-you-off-the-boat_1215366.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? 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I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs are not exactly Mensa members either, but they definitely make better pets than tropical fish.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/millions-of-americans-own-dogs-because-they-are-good-natured-simple/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/264/dave-barry-222_amused_millions-of-americans-own-dogs-because-t_2509022.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/264/dave-barry-222_amused_millions-of-americans-own-dogs-because-t_2509022.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/264/dave-barry-222_amused_millions-of-americans-own-dogs-because-t_2509022.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/it-was-not-easy-victory-in-the-america-cup-our-boys-spent-years/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/461/dave-barry-222_america_it-was-not-easy-victory-in-the-america-c_617510.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/461/dave-barry-222_america_it-was-not-easy-victory-in-the-america-c_617510.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/461/dave-barry-222_america_it-was-not-easy-victory-in-the-america-c_617510.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is asking for trouble. Most of them have had their boats sitting in their driveways long enough to be registered historical landmarks.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-shared-this-insight-with-some-other-boat-owners-and-they-all-agreed/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/dave-barry-222_asking_i-shared-this-insight-with-some-other-bo_1232111.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/dave-barry-222_asking_i-shared-this-insight-with-some-other-bo_1232111.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/dave-barry-222_asking_i-shared-this-insight-with-some-other-bo_1232111.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform comical maneuvers such as forgetting to set their parking brakes and having their cars roll down the ramp and disappear, burbling gaily, below the surface.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/here-in-miami-on-weekends-amusement-seekers-will-come-to-the-marina/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/dave-barry-222_amusement_here-in-miami-on-weekends-amusement-seek_3190382.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/dave-barry-222_amusement_here-in-miami-on-weekends-amusement-seek_3190382.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/dave-barry-222_amusement_here-in-miami-on-weekends-amusement-seek_3190382.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boat/dave-barry/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boat/dave-barry/", "name": "Boat Quotes by Dave Barry", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boat/dave-barry/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60d/dave-barry-222_boat_it-takes-a-minimum-of-six-people-working_1768592.png" }, "description": "12 Boat quotes by Dave Barry. 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