---
title: "2 Blow job Quotes By Mallory Ortberg"
description: "2 Blow job quotes by Mallory Ortberg. Plus more from Mallory Ortberg and more Blow job sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d5/mallory-ortberg-7200_accepted_as-long-as-you-don-t-think-he-s-just-pre_1585277.jpg"
---

> [As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/as-long-as-you-don-t-think-he-s-just-pretending-not-to-mind-for-your/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d5/mallory-ortberg-7200_accepted_as-long-as-you-don-t-think-he-s-just-pre_1585277.jpg)

> [If this is something you'd truly like to work on, not out of a sense of guilt but because you would enjoy occasionally reciprocating, there are a wealth of resources out there for the enthusiastic amateur (you are far from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/if-this-is-something-you-d-truly-like-to-work-on-not-out-of-a-sense/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/mallory-ortberg-7200_amateur_if-this-is-something-you-d-truly-like-to_2967946.jpg)

## More by Mallory Ortberg

> [Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/not-wanting-to-give-everyone-in-your-life-one-of-your-kidneys-is-not/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-agree-that-biphobia-is-real-but-i-think-it-s-absolutely-worth/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/if-you-get-a-dog-take-care-of-your-dog-you-can-just-not-have-a-dog-if/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/it-is-so-tempting-to-return-rudeness-with-rudeness/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-think-that-it-s-a-great-idea-to-have-honest-conversations-about/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/don-t-beat-yourself-up-over-what-you-dream-about/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/one-of-the-glorious-things-about-being-a-person-in-the-world-is-that/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/you-need-to-be-able-to-express-your-resentment-and-sense-of-loss-in-a/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/some-people-give-gifts-in-order-to-bewilder-confuse-and-manipulate/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asexuality-is-an-intrinsic-part/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/the-mere-idea-of-asking-a-family-member-if-they-intentionally-stopped/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/you-have-a-right-to-be-treated-professionally-at-work-and-it-s-your/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/we-are-all-going-to-die-sometimes-even-in-the-middle-of-a-lease/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/o-one-is-right-when-it-comes-to-destination-weddings-it-s-a-big-ask/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [I love the art history ones because it's so little work for me. There's so many paintings that when I look at them, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-love-the-art-history-ones-because-it-s-so-little-work-for-me-there/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

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