---
title: "124 Blow job Quotes by 106 authors"
description: "Browse 124 Blow job quotes by 106 authors. Discover the best Blow job sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df3/liane-moriarty-1135_blow_bonnie-must-give-him-organic-blow-jobs-2_2083203.png"
---

> [“Bonnie must give him organic blow jobs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liane-moriarty/bonnie-must-give-him-organic-blow-jobs/)

[Liane Moriarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liane-moriarty/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df3/liane-moriarty-1135_blow_bonnie-must-give-him-organic-blow-jobs-2_2083203.png)

> [Weddings are funerals for blow jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/weddings-are-funerals-for-blow-jobs/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9a/nikhil-saluja-26_blow-job_weddings-are-funerals-for-blow-jobs-1893_1893564.jpg)

> [“I'm good at blowjob.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-baker/i-m-good-at-blowjob/)

[Lauren Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-baker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fee/lauren-baker-43925_blow-job_i-m-good-at-blowjob-3044869_3044869.jpg)

> [She digging me, checking out my paint job I'm digging her, trying to get a blow job.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/young-jeezy/she-digging-me-checking-out-my-paint-job-i-m-digging-her-trying-to/)

[Young Jeezy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/young-jeezy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07b/young-jeezy-1485_blow-job_she-digging-me-checking-out-my-paint-job_507397.png)

> [Your life style's a blow job, the way your living sucks!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/your-life-style-s-a-blow-job-the-way-your-living-sucks/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e51/anonymous-1_blow-job_your-life-style-s-a-blow-job-the-way-you_3006393.jpg)

> [“She just gave your IQ a blow job and she's not even here.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moriah-jovan/she-just-gave-your-iq-a-blow-job-and-she-s-not-even-here/)

[Moriah Jovan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moriah-jovan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/moriah-jovan-59352_blow-job_she-just-gave-your-iq-a-blow-job-and-she_2185486.jpg)

> [Dear Wind, My House Does Not Need A Blow Job. K. Thx.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mandii-campbell/dear-wind-my-house-does-not-need-a-blow-job-k-thx/)

Mandii Campbell

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbf/mandii-campbell-259186_blow_dear-wind-my-house-does-not-need-a-blow_741050.jpg)

> [It's impossible to look at a woman eating a banana and not think of a blow job.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/it-s-impossible-to-look-at-a-woman-eating-a-banana-and-not-think-of-a/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6d/nikhil-saluja-26_blow-job_it-s-impossible-to-look-at-a-woman-eatin_1104673.jpg)

> [Whats the diffrence between a corvette and a blow job:ur mom din't a corvette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john/whats-the-diffrence-between-a-corvette-and-a-blow-job-ur-mom-din-t-a/)

[John](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec6/john-30197_blow-job_whats-the-diffrence-between-a-corvette-a_2124514.jpg)

> [ “\[while toasting\] To blow jobs we want back” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meg-cabot/while-toasting-to-blow-jobs-we-want-back/)

[Meg Cabot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meg-cabot/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37a/meg-cabot-460_blow_while-toasting-to-blow-jobs-we-want-back_1651406.png)

> [Blow jobs are okay, but kissing clients is still a taboo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-sprinkle/blow-jobs-are-okay-but-kissing-clients-is-still-a-taboo/)

[Annie Sprinkle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-sprinkle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/annie-sprinkle-24382_blow_blow-jobs-are-okay-but-kissing-clients-i_788184.jpg)

> [I dont ask for a blow job because the word job makes it sound like its strenuous physical labor. Instead, I ask…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-dont-ask-for-a-blow-job-because-the-word-job-makes-it-sound-like/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32a/anonymous-1_blow-job_i-dont-ask-for-a-blow-job-because-the-wo_2478445.jpg)

> [“Of course, a blow job given in friendship isn't the most arousing, but it stays in the memory longer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-benderson/of-course-a-blow-job-given-in-friendship-isn-t-the-most-arousing-but/)

Bruce Benderson

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/045/bruce-benderson-87241_blow-job_of-course-a-blow-job-given-in-friendship_91862.jpg)

> [“I convinced Danny to give me in the shower last night. Blow jobs tonight. Or my name isn’t Rainstorm Christiansen. I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-e-harmon/i-convinced-danny-to-give-me-in-the-shower-last-night-blow-jobs/)

[S.E. Harmon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-e-harmon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc5/s-e-harmon-57917_blow-job_i-convinced-danny-to-give-me-in-the-show_2852535.jpg)

> [“Men always do that to women when they feel threatened. They tell everybody the woman must be giving out blow jobs because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/men-always-do-that-to-women-when-they-feel-threatened-they-tell/)

[Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1a/jennifer-echols-943_blow-job_men-always-do-that-to-women-when-they-fe_2605445.jpg)

> [“Hugh G. in a spot of bother up LA, apparently. Something to do with a blow job. It's all right for some,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-thompson/hugh-g-in-a-spot-of-bother-up-la-apparently-something-to-do-with-a/)

[Emma Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-thompson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25d/emma-thompson-3232_blow-job_hugh-g-in-a-spot-of-bother-up-la-apparen_1225219.png)

> [For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose . . . watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/for-sure-even-the-worst-blow-job-is-better-than-say-sniffing-the-best/)

[Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8a/chuck-palahniuk-37_blow-job_for-sure-even-the-worst-blow-job-is-bett_2455906.jpg)

> [Teacher asked the class to spell a 12 letter word! Kid Says: Masturbation! Teacher Says: WOW! That's a mouth full!?! Kids says:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie/teacher-asked-the-class-to-spell-a-12-letter-word-kid-says/)

[Stephanie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c56/stephanie-12463_blow-job_teacher-asked-the-class-to-spell-a-12-le_2724205.jpg)

> [“Life ain't all blow jobs and ice cream. Sometimes it's a shit sandwich and a kick in the nuts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-cole/life-ain-t-all-blow-jobs-and-ice-cream-sometimes-it-s-a-shit-sandwich/)

Matt Cole

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c5/matt-cole-261165_blow-job_life-ain-t-all-blow-jobs-and-ice-cream-s_114394.jpg)

> [“You wouldn’t shut up about how brain-damaged that ‘little Rusky diva-bitch’ was and how he needed to just ‘get over his sorry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-lane/you-wouldn-t-shut-up-about-how-brain-damaged-that-little-rusky-diva/)

[Amy Lane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-lane/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc8/amy-lane-2185_blow-job_you-wouldn-t-shut-up-about-how-brain-dam_860390.jpg)

> [“I swear, Santiago! You are an idiot!" "I'm only trying to help you along. The guy is all over you and you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-laurenston/i-swear-santiago-you-are-an-idiot-i-m-only-trying-to-help-you-along/)

[Shelly Laurenston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-laurenston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a4/shelly-laurenston-1018_blow-job_i-swear-santiago-you-are-an-idiot-i-m-on_2443857.jpg)

> [“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/some-women-do-not-masturbate-for-pleasure-they-masturbate-to-make-a/)

[Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/mokokoma-mokhonoana-195_aids_some-women-do-not-masturbate-for-pleasur_3197891.jpg)

> [“Really?   Because I recall you asking the Elvis impersonator at your Vegas wedding if he could add a line to Jenny’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-sivec/really-because-i-recall-you-asking-the-elvis-impersonator-at-your/)

[Tara Sivec](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-sivec/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61d/tara-sivec-2248_blow-job_really-because-i-recall-you-asking-the-e_629027.jpg)

> [As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/as-long-as-you-don-t-think-he-s-just-pretending-not-to-mind-for-your/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d5/mallory-ortberg-7200_accepted_as-long-as-you-don-t-think-he-s-just-pre_1585277.jpg)

> [My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-merton/my-favourite-riposte-to-a-heckle-is-to-say-excuse-me-i-m-trying-to/)

[Paul Merton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-merton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77c/paul-merton-15418_alleys_my-favourite-riposte-to-a-heckle-is-to-s_2420852.png)

> [“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-sivec/she-s-calling-our-house-what-ten-year-old-girl-needs-to-call-a-boy-s/)

[Tara Sivec](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-sivec/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/tara-sivec-2248_blow-job_she-s-calling-our-house-what-ten-year-ol_304002.jpg)

> [“With a soft gasp from Aaron, the soundtrack started up in Joey’s brain again. Goldfrapp’s “Ooh La La” was perfect for blow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-a-mitchell/with-a-soft-gasp-from-aaron-the-soundtrack-started-up-in-joey-s-brain/)

[K.A. Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-a-mitchell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/978/k-a-mitchell-20502_blow-job_with-a-soft-gasp-from-aaron-the-soundtra_414076.jpg)

> [“Calm down, calm down. Deep breath,” Colleen whispered. “It's showtime. He's a nice guy, you're a nice woman.” “Hey, Paulie,” Bryce said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristan-higgins/calm-down-calm-down-deep-breath-colleen-whispered-it-s-showtime-he-s/)

[Kristan Higgins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristan-higgins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/kristan-higgins-3756_blow-job_calm-down-calm-down-deep-breath-colleen_331665.jpg)

> [“All these people who say they want a life free from sexual compulsion, I mean forget it. I mean, what could ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/all-these-people-who-say-they-want-a-life-free-from-sexual-compulsion/)

[Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ad/chuck-palahniuk-37_blow-job_all-these-people-who-say-they-want-a-lif_2689017.jpg)

> [ “\[The USA in the '70s\] The country's cinematic output was appropriately bleak, reflecting the moroseness and self-hatred that riddled the national psyche.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-pegg/the-usa-in-the-70s-the-country-s-cinematic-output-was-appropriately/)

[Simon Pegg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-pegg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41a/simon-pegg-4365_america_the-usa-in-the-70s-the-country-s-cinemat_3065481.jpg)

> [“He's just pissed because he's been married for so fucking long, he can't remember what a blow job feels like," Matt says,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-proby/he-s-just-pissed-because-he-s-been-married-for-so-fucking-long-he-can/)

[Kristen Proby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-proby/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8bf/kristen-proby-2181_blow-job_he-s-just-pissed-because-he-s-been-marri_367123.jpg)

> [“It was on the table when I got here," Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. "You don't already…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/it-was-on-the-table-when-i-got-here-matt-said-in-his-defense-josh/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a71/jill-shalvis-838_blow-job_it-was-on-the-table-when-i-got-here-matt_325502.png)

> [“To me, hearing that those girls gave my brother Eric a blow job sounded very nice. History shows that all boys consider…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-smith/to-me-hearing-that-those-girls-gave-my-brother-eric-a-blow-job/)

[Andrew Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf6/andrew-smith-11018_air-conditioner_to-me-hearing-that-those-girls-gave-my-b_1786640.jpg)

> [I am not the kind of girl that gets in trouble. You will never find somebody who can say, 'Well, I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimora-lee-simmons/i-am-not-the-kind-of-girl-that-gets-in-trouble-you-will-never-find/)

[Kimora Lee Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimora-lee-simmons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac7/kimora-lee-simmons-4549_bitches_i-am-not-the-kind-of-girl-that-gets-in-t_1171392.png)

> [“YO MAMA SO STUPID... Yo mama so stupid she tried to put her M&Ms in alphabetical order. Yo mama so stupid she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jess-franken/yo-mama-so-stupid-yo-mama-so-stupid-she-tried-to-put-her-m-ms-in/)

[Jess Franken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jess-franken/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/jess-franken-62530_blow-job_yo-mama-so-stupid-yo-mama-so-stupid-she_2842721.jpg)

> [We weren't doing blow jobs when I was growing up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-blume/we-weren-t-doing-blow-jobs-when-i-was-growing-up/)

[Judy Blume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judy-blume/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff3/judy-blume-2002_blow_we-weren-t-doing-blow-jobs-when-i-was-gr_438178.png)

> [“Horkman made a sound like a bullfrog trying to give a blow job to a buffalo.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/horkman-made-a-sound-like-a-bullfrog-trying-to-give-a-blow-job-to-a/)

[Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/dave-barry-222_blow-job_horkman-made-a-sound-like-a-bullfrog-try_1265397.png)

> [Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-forget-that-blow-jobs-are-like-flowers-for-men/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c4/anonymous-1_blow-job_don-t-forget-that-blow-jobs-are-like-flo_1940376.jpg)

> [Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-rogan/maybe-we-can-combine-2-things-that-everybody-loves-helping-out-the/)

[Joe Rogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-rogan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a18/joe-rogan-1952_blow_maybe-we-can-combine-2-things-that-every_1071264.jpg)

> [If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-god-had-wanted-people-to-give-blow-jobs-he-wouldn-t-have-given/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/anonymous-1_blow-job_if-god-had-wanted-people-to-give-blow-jo_2640398.jpg)

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                        "text": "Teacher asked the class to spell a 12 letter word! Kid Says: Masturbation! Teacher Says: WOW! That's a mouth full!?! Kids says: No! you're thinking of Blow Job!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I swear, Santiago! You are an idiot!\" \"I'm only trying to help you along. The guy is all over you and you need to let him know your're interested before some other biker slut, such as yourself, snaps him up with a well-timed blow job.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).”",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Really?   Because I recall you asking the Elvis impersonator at your Vegas wedding if he could add a line to Jenny’s vows that said, ‘I promise to always give blow jobs with a smile on my face and love in my heart,”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Mallory Ortberg"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Paul Merton"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she’s going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter!”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                            "caption": "“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl…” — Tara Sivec",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“With a soft gasp from Aaron, the soundtrack started up in Joey’s brain again. Goldfrapp’s “Ooh La La” was perfect for blow jobs. If he sang along, his tongue did interesting things.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "K.A. Mitchell"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Calm down, calm down. Deep breath,” Colleen whispered. “It's showtime. He's a nice guy, you're a nice woman.” “Hey, Paulie,” Bryce said as he loped over to Paulie's car. “Everything okay here? Our window just broke.” Paulie inhaled audibly, her breath hitching in her throat. “Oh! Wow. Hi. Your eyes are so...so...blue.” Colleen winced. “Stop that.” “Stop that,” echoed Paulie. Bryce stopped and tilted his head. “Paulie, relax. Just...just say hi to him.” Another shaking breath. “Hi, Bryce!” she said loudly. “What are you doing here?” Bryce laughed. “I live here. How about you?” A squeaky groan came over the wire. “I threw a pebble, I guess. I think I had a blowout,” Colleen whispered. “I threw a pebble, I guess,” Paulie parroted. “I think I had a blow job.” She clapped her hands over her mouth. “Out, out! I didn't mean blow job. I never had a blow job. I meant something else. Out. I had a blowout.” “Paulie, calm down,” Colleen whispered. “Jesus.” “Jesus, calm down,” Paulie said, then wiped her forehead with her arm. “Uh...I...I have a flat tire.” “Bummer,” Bryce said, not freaked out in the least by Paulie sounding as if she were possessed by a demon. “Can you help me change it, Bryce?” Colleen asked. “Can you help me change it? Bryce? Please? Please help me.” Dear Lord. This was going to be a long afternoon.”",
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                            "name": "Kristan Higgins"
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                            "caption": "“Calm down, calm down. Deep breath,” Colleen whispered. “It's showtime. He's a nice guy, you're a nice…” — Kristan Higgins",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“All these people who say they want a life free from sexual compulsion, I mean forget it. I mean, what could ever be better than sex? For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose . . . watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh. I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut-hosing orgasm. Painting a picture, composing an opera, that's just something you do until you find the next willing piece of ass.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Chuck Palahniuk"
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                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“All these people who say they want a life free from sexual compulsion, I mean forget it. I mean, what could…” — Chuck Palahniuk",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“[The USA in the '70s] The country's cinematic output was appropriately bleak, reflecting the moroseness and self-hatred that riddled the national psyche. Anti-heroes such as Bonnie and Clyde, Travis Bickle, Popeye Doyle and the Corleones dominated the box office and the public wallowed in a morass of guilty introspection. There was never a country in more desperate need of a blow job than the United States of America: enter George Lucas.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Simon Pegg"
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                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“[The USA in the '70s] The country's cinematic output was appropriately bleak, reflecting the moroseness and…” — Simon Pegg",
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                    "position": 31,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“He's just pissed because he's been married for so fucking long, he can't remember what a blow job feels like,\" Matt says, earning a glare from Isaac. \"I don't know that being married has anything to do with it,\" Pop says and stuffs some Doritos into his mouth. \"Your mom and I have been married for almost forty years, and just the other night...\" \"No! No! No!\" \"Stop talking!\" \"Oh my god!”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Kristen Proby"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-proby/he-s-just-pissed-because-he-s-been-married-for-so-fucking-long-he-can/",
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                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“He's just pissed because he's been married for so fucking long, he can't remember what a blow job feels…” — Kristen Proby",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It was on the table when I got here,\" Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. \"You don't already know how to satisfy your boyfriends in bed?\" Matt ignored this. \"Did either of you know there's ninety-nine ways to give a blow job? That's ninety-nine nights of blow jobs.\" \"Look at you with the math skills,\" Josh said. Matt flipped him off while Ty flipped the page. \"'How to Give Your Hoo-Ha a Spa Day.' Huh,\" he said. \"I didn't know a woman's hoo-ha needed a spa day.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jill Shalvis"
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                            "caption": "“It was on the table when I got here,\" Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. \"You don't…” — Jill Shalvis",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“To me, hearing that those girls gave my brother Eric a blow job sounded very nice. History shows that all boys consider blow job to be a nice-sounding set of words. I thought a blow job was putting your face in front of an air conditioner, which is something all nine-year-old boys love to do, even though Eric did not look like he had been cooled off very much.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Andrew Smith"
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                            "caption": "“To me, hearing that those girls gave my brother Eric a blow job sounded very nice. History shows that all…” — Andrew Smith",
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                        "text": "I am not the kind of girl that gets in trouble. You will never find somebody who can say, 'Well, I don't like that bitch. I came home one day and she was giving my man a blow job.' I'm not that kind of girl. I'm a girl's girl. I'm a woman's woman. I'm a cool girl. I'm not a bitch. There's a difference. And the girls that try to take him (husband Russell Simmons) are bitches.",
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                        "text": "“YO MAMA SO STUPID... Yo mama so stupid she tried to put her M&Ms in alphabetical order. Yo mama so stupid she told me to meet her at the corner of \"WALK\" and \"DON'T WALK.\" Yo mama so stupid she went to the dentist to get a blue tooth. Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor. Yo mama so stupid she failed a survey. Yo mama so stupid she got fired from a blow job. Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. Yo mama so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew. Yo mama so stupid she went to the YMCA thinking it's Macy's. Yo mama is so stupid, she won't play Candy Crush cause she has diabetes.”",
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