---
title: "180 Blanket Quotes By Jarod Kintz"
description: "180 Blanket quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Blanket sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/762/jarod-kintz-2_quote_my-hand-acts-as-a-blanket-for-my-genital_1084624.jpg"
---

> [“My hand acts as a blanket for my genitals. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-hand-acts-as-a-blanket-for-my-genitals/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/762/jarod-kintz-2_quote_my-hand-acts-as-a-blanket-for-my-genital_1084624.jpg)

> [“Error is to err, as blanket is to blank. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/error-is-to-err-as-blanket-is-to-blank/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd6/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_error-is-to-err-as-blanket-is-to-blank-2_2675109.jpg)

> [“The cloud cover made for a terrible blanket. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-cloud-cover-made-for-a-terrible-blanket/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af8/jarod-kintz-2_quote_the-cloud-cover-made-for-a-terrible-blan_1835222.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a parachute, for jumping out of dreams. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-parachute-for-jumping-out-of-dreams/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/894/jarod-kintz-2_dreams_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-parachute-f_2146969.jpg)

> [“My white duvet is like an avalanche of blanket. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-white-duvet-is-like-an-avalanche-of-blanket/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_my-white-duvet-is-like-an-avalanche-of-b_527855.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to fill in the blank. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-fill-in-the-blank/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/341/jarod-kintz-2_fill-in-the-blank_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-fill-in-the-b_1908010.jpg)

> [“A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-really-makes-the-bed-good-thing-too-because-i-never-make/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b98/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-really-makes-the-bed-good-thin_2912384.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a duvet, in the fight against elitism. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-duvet-in-the-fight-against-elitism/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf4/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-duvet-in-th_286182.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to show people the benefits of sleeping with a parachute—especially if you’ve got a flying bed like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-show-people-the-benefits-of-sleeping-with/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6b/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-show-people-t_1205076.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a smothering agent, sort of like an employee of the NSA. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-smothering-agent-sort-of-like-an/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45f/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-smothering_2672822.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-cause-global-warming-if-you-don-t-want-to/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/660/jarod-kintz-2_global-warming_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-cause-global_2196179.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-lay-down-the-law-lay-it-down-over-there-on/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-lay-down-the_17157.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must! ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-create-another-way-there-is-no-other-way/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bd/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-create-anothe_1936991.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-spread-the-love-around-tuck-it-in-at-the/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61c/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-spread-the-lo_730609.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-cover-up-your-infidelity-either-use-the/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d9a/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-cover-up-your_1244767.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used, or it could not be used. They are opposites, but that doesn’t mean one is good and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-or-it-could-not-be-used-they-are-opposites/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d99/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-or-it-could-not_2560325.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-say-hello-to-all-the-goodbyes-i-was-too/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/12d/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-say-hello-to_554667.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to ward off warts. I tested it out last Tuesday on my Aunt Velma, and she doesn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-ward-off-warts-i-tested-it-out-last/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/812/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-ward-off-wart_2909280.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-like-a-giant-piece-of-paper-most-people-just/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-like-a-giant-pie_400397.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small knife, or really sharp teeth, and is able…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-stop-terrorism-unless-that-terrorist-has-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/892/jarod-kintz-2_american-freedom_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-stop-terroris_3179638.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions. Make sure the blanket is neon orange though, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-announce-your-intention-to-announce-your/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4c/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-announce-your_1253921.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a soggy umbrella, if you’re too cheap to buy my 360-degrees spinning windshield wiper on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-soggy-umbrella-if-you-re-too-cheap-to/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/583/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-soggy-umbre_885142.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to say hello to a man who’s not only tone deaf, but also regular deaf. Just wave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-say-hello-to-a-man-who-s-not-only-tone/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77a/jarod-kintz-2_credit-card_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-say-hello-to_2088736.jpg)

> [“A flag could be used as a blanket, but a blanket couldn’t be used as a flag. A blanket provides real warmth,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-flag-could-be-used-as-a-blanket-but-a-blanket-couldn-t-be-used-as-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5a/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-flag-could-be-used-as-a-blanket-but-a_352336.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-tarp-over-one-of-those-tiny-circular/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25d/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-tarp-over-o_2886536.jpg)

> [“Blanket could be used to form a new word—tenkalb—which in turn could be used, or not used at all. But that’s not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/blanket-could-be-used-to-form-a-new-word-tenkalb-which-in-turn-could/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a59/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_blanket-could-be-used-to-form-a-new-word_2320710.jpg)

> [“A brick and a blanket can be used as reasons to go on searching, when you’ve found all the obvious applications for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-and-a-blanket-can-be-used-as-reasons-to-go-on-searching-when/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdf/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-brick-and-a-blanket-can-be-used-as-rea_2358548.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to represent a thing. Now this thing is curious, because it represents an idea. This idea is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-represent-a-thing-now-this-thing-is/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-represent-a-t_2833274.jpg)

> [“If a blanket could be used to keep one person warm, then it stands to reason that all the blankets in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-a-blanket-could-be-used-to-keep-one-person-warm-then-it-stands-to/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/865/jarod-kintz-2_global-warming_if-a-blanket-could-be-used-to-keep-one-p_30009.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-wrapping-paper-to-give-the-gift-of-a-cat/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/893/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-wrapping-pape_446449.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to wrap up a case. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-wrap-up-a-case/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1c/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-wrap-up-a-cas_1455477.jpg)

> [“Brick is to blanket, as ellipses is to… ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/brick-is-to-blanket-as-ellipses-is-to/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bd/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_brick-is-to-blanket-as-ellipses-is-to-28_2841942.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as one square on a giant checkerboard. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-one-square-on-a-giant-checkerboard/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee6/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-one-square-on_3107778.jpg)

> [“If you bring the blanket, I’ll bring the warmth. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-you-bring-the-blanket-i-ll-bring-the-warmth/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b9/jarod-kintz-2_quote_if-you-bring-the-blanket-i-ll-bring-the_1439905.jpg)

> [“I’ve got you covered. Just don’t hog all the blanket. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-ve-got-you-covered-just-don-t-hog-all-the-blanket/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/356/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-ve-got-you-covered-just-don-t-hog-all_1103976.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-fly-interdimensionally-my-penis-is-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39c/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-fly-interdime_1711389.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used to stop gun violence. Make sleep, not war. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-stop-gun-violence-make-sleep-not-war/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f0d/jarod-kintz-2_gun-violence_a-blanket-could-be-used-to-stop-gun-viol_1891130.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-tablecloth-and-a-brick-left-as-a-tip/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36b/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-tablecloth_1665831.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used as a flag, for a sleepy nation. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-flag-for-a-sleepy-nation/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b98/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-blanket-could-be-used-as-a-flag-for-a_1028086.jpg)

> [“A blanket could be used like cloud cover ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-like-cloud-cover/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/jarod-kintz-2_blanket_a-blanket-could-be-used-like-cloud-cover_427799.jpg)

## Other authors on Blanket

## More by Jarod Kintz

> [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used to ward off warts. I tested it out last Tuesday on my Aunt Velma, and she doesn’t have a wart on her body. It’s probably true that she didn’t have a wart on her body before I began my experiment, but that’s just part of the inaccuracies of science. \u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small knife, or really sharp teeth, and is able to chew through the cloth separating him from our American freedom. \u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions. Make sure the blanket is neon orange though, or you might not get the attention you deserve.\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used as a soggy umbrella, if you’re too cheap to buy my 360-degrees spinning windshield wiper on a stick. Think of it like a one-bladed helicopter, and picture yourself as dry as the desert.\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used to say hello to a man who’s not only tone deaf, but also regular deaf. Just wave the blanket up and down, and be advised: If that blanket is red, he’s liable to charge you like a bull. I’d charge you too, if only I had your credit card information. \u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A flag could be used as a blanket, but a blanket couldn’t be used as a flag. A blanket provides real warmth, not the pseudo warmth that patriotism provides. A blanket-flag would leave you shivering—not from cold, but from cowardice.\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“Blanket could be used to form a new word—tenkalb—which in turn could be used, or not used at all. But that’s not so bad, because many words aren’t used at all. Like the word drimorious, for example, which means “An honest politician.” Actually, not only does the word “drimorious” not exist, but neither does an honest politician. \u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A brick and a blanket can be used as reasons to go on searching, when you’ve found all the obvious applications for the brick and the blanket—and immediately discarded them—but you lost the motivation to keep thinking, and you’ve lost hope that you will discover any new uses for them. Thus the brick and the blanket become symbols for creativity and perseverance. \u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used to represent a thing. Now this thing is curious, because it represents an idea. This idea is called sleep, and as far as ideathings go, it’s about as relaxing as it gets. Ideas within sleep are called dreams, and they are like bricks, only not real and considerably lighter and less damaging as they bounce off your skull. So if a dream is an ideaideathing, then a dream about a blanket would be an ideathingideathing, and thinking about that makes me want to crack my brainbone with a brick. \u2028”",
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                        "text": "“If a blanket could be used to keep one person warm, then it stands to reason that all the blankets in the world are to blame for global warming, and I think our political leaders, with all their wisdom, should confiscate all blankets and burn them. The cure for Global Warming is to start a massive bonfire, and while the earth will surely get warmer in the short term, in the end we’ll all be like Keynes’ corpse anyway, so what’s it really matter?\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat.\u2028”",
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