---
title: "4 Bars Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield"
description: "4 Bars quotes by Rodney Dangerfield. Plus more from Rodney Dangerfield and more Bars sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/rodney-dangerfield-755_arms_guy-goes-into-a-bar-with-a-duck-under-hi_357897.jpg"
---

> [Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/guy-goes-into-a-bar-with-a-duck-under-his-arm-bartender-says-where-d/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/rodney-dangerfield-755_arms_guy-goes-into-a-bar-with-a-duck-under-hi_357897.jpg)

> [...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/went-to-a-bar-for-a-few-drinks-the-bartender-asked-what-i-wanted/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/348/rodney-dangerfield-755_bars_went-to-a-bar-for-a-few-drinks-the-barte_1083539.jpg)

> [The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/the-sign-on-the-bar-said-girls-topless-bottomless-i-went-inside-and/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/rodney-dangerfield-755_bars_the-sign-on-the-bar-said-girls-topless-b_1489791.jpg)

> [I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-went-to-a-gay-bar-they-wanted-proof-of-sex-so-i-showed-them-they/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d7/rodney-dangerfield-755_bars_i-went-to-a-gay-bar-they-wanted-proof-of_2982938.jpg)

## Other authors on Bars

## More by Rodney Dangerfield

> [For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/for-christmas-one-year-i-bought-my-son-a-bb-gun-he-bought-me-a-t/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-knew-a-girl-so-ugly-she-had-a-face-like-a-saint-a-saint-bernard/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/every-time-i-get-in-an-elevator-the-operator-says-the-same-thing-to/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/my-wife-and-i-were-happy-for-20-years-then-we-met/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/she-failed-her-drivers-test-she-couldn-t-get-used-to-the-front-seat/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-tell-ya-when-i-was-a-kid-all-i-knew-was-rejection-my-yo-yo-it-never/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-don-t-care-how-rich-and-successful-a-man-is-he-s-nothing-without-an/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-went-to-a-massage-parlor-it-was-self-service/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/what-a-childhood-i-had-my-parents-sent-me-to-a-child-psychiatrist-the/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/she-was-so-fat-that-her-belly-button-makes-an-echo/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/one-night-i-came-home-i-figured-let-my-wife-come-on-i-ll-play-it-cool/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-m-a-bad-lover-once-i-caught-a-peeping-tom-booing-me/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/i-tell-ya-i-knew-my-morning-wasn-t-going-right-when-i-put-on-my-shirt/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/my-wife-has-teeth-like-the-stars-they-come-out-at-night/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

> [It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-dangerfield/it-s-tough-to-stay-married-my-wife-kisses-the-dog-on-the-lips-yet-she/)

[Rodney Dangerfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-dangerfield/)

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