--- title: "9 Aunt Quotes By Ilona Andrews" description: "9 Aunt quotes by Ilona Andrews. Plus more from Ilona Andrews and more Aunt sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-her_2952290.png" --- > [“This it the hand that slapped Aunt B, here you can touch it since you're my best friend”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-here-you-can-touch-it-since-you/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-her_2952290.png) > [I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-make-a-bad-mom-but-i-can-pull-off-a-crazy-aunt/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-make-a-bad-mom-but-i-can-pull-off-a-cr_356051.png) > [I'm a substitute mom." "You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-m-a-substitute-mom-you-re-more-like-a-crazy-aunt-who-only-gets/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e91/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-m-a-substitute-mom-you-re-more-like-a_223752.png) > [Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.” “Maybe you should have it gold-plated.” “Here, you can touch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/andrea-raised-her-hand-this-is-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-maybe-you/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ae/ilona-andrews-150_andrea_andrea-raised-her-hand-this-is-the-hand_2974661.png) > [One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy. Raphael’s eyebrows furrowed. “My mother’s approval isn’t necessary.” Aha. “Does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/one-look-at-rebecca-and-aunt-b-would-have-an-instant-apoplexy-raphael/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adc/ilona-andrews-150_approval_one-look-at-rebecca-and-aunt-b-would-hav_2310165.png) > [Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/do-you-have-spies-in-clan-heavy-i-have-spies-everywhere-i-looked-at/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6df/ilona-andrews-150_air_do-you-have-spies-in-clan-heavy-i-have-s_1310240.jpg) > [He isn’t so much flirting,” Cerise murmured. “Either he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t know how.” “Of course he likes you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-isn-t-so-much-flirting-cerise-murmured-either-he-doesn-t-like-me/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7f/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_he-isn-t-so-much-flirting-cerise-murmure_2025178.png) > [People around me die. They drop like flies. I've gone through life leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me. My mother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/people-around-me-die-they-drop-like-flies-i-ve-gone-through-life/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ea/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_people-around-me-die-they-drop-like-flie_1287506.png) > [Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. “I’m just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?” “Sure.” Thirty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/aunt-b-walked-out-onto-the-helipad-wearing-loose-yoga-pants-i-m-just/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/ilona-andrews-150_air_aunt-b-walked-out-onto-the-helipad-weari_187763.jpg) ## Other authors on Aunt ## More by Ilona Andrews > [“Did he kill Grandmother?” I whispered. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Erra’s voice said in my ear. “She is already dead. Besides, your grandmother was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/did-he-kill-grandmother-i-whispered-don-t-be-ridiculous-erra-s-voice/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-only-way-to-make-sure-that-the-hand-didn-t-get-to-you-would-have/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hit-her-with-his-best-smile-her-eyes-widened-she-took-a-deep/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“Because he doesn’t want me talking to my grandmother.” Barabas looked at Curran. Curran shrugged. “It’s a family thing. Sometimes your father puts your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/because-he-doesn-t-want-me-talking-to-my-grandmother-barabas-looked/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-had-forgotten-that-talking-to-you-is-like-trying-to-pet-a-cactus/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-squeezed-his-hands-into-fists-i-picked-up-a-grapefruit-sized-rock/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“He came for me. I couldn’t believe it. He came for me . Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-came-for-me-i-couldn-t-believe-it-he-came-for-me-into-a-flying/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/saiman-picked-up-a-coffee-mug-stared-at-it-and-hurled-it-against-the/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“Slowly the reality of the situation sank in. He got his ass kicked, learned nothing, and got saved by a dumb dog and an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/slowly-the-reality-of-the-situation-sank-in-he-got-his-ass-kicked/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?" "He became engulfed in fire." "Was his buddy made out of orange…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-paused-with-the-pen-in-my-hand-he-burst-into-flames-he-became/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“He hung his head. “Am I punished?” “Yes. I’m too mad to punish you right now. We’ll talk about it when we get home.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hung-his-head-am-i-punished-yes-i-m-too-mad-to-punish-you-right/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The pervert." "He prefers to think of himself as sexual deviant." "Semantics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-pervert-he-prefers-to-think-of-himself-as-sexual-deviant-semantics/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“I want you to understand me. This isn’t vengeance. This is punishment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-want-you-to-understand-me-this-isn-t-vengeance-this-is-punishment/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-door-swung-open-and-kate-walked-in-her-jeans-and-t-shirt-were/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aunt/ilona-andrews/#itemlist", "name": "9 Aunt Quotes By Ilona Andrews", "numberOfItems": 9, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“This it the hand that slapped Aunt B, here you can touch it since you're my best friend”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-here-you-can-touch-it-since-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-her_2952290.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-her_2952290.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_this-it-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-her_2952290.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“This it the hand that slapped Aunt B, here you can touch it since you're my best friend” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-make-a-bad-mom-but-i-can-pull-off-a-crazy-aunt/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-make-a-bad-mom-but-i-can-pull-off-a-cr_356051.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-make-a-bad-mom-but-i-can-pull-off-a-cr_356051.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-make-a-bad-mom-but-i-can-pull-off-a-cr_356051.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm a substitute mom.\" \"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-m-a-substitute-mom-you-re-more-like-a-crazy-aunt-who-only-gets/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e91/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-m-a-substitute-mom-you-re-more-like-a_223752.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e91/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-m-a-substitute-mom-you-re-more-like-a_223752.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e91/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_i-m-a-substitute-mom-you-re-more-like-a_223752.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm a substitute mom.\" \"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.” “Maybe you should have it gold-plated.” “Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/andrea-raised-her-hand-this-is-the-hand-that-slapped-aunt-b-maybe-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ae/ilona-andrews-150_andrea_andrea-raised-her-hand-this-is-the-hand_2974661.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ae/ilona-andrews-150_andrea_andrea-raised-her-hand-this-is-the-hand_2974661.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ae/ilona-andrews-150_andrea_andrea-raised-her-hand-this-is-the-hand_2974661.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.” “Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy. Raphael’s eyebrows furrowed. “My mother’s approval isn’t necessary.” Aha. “Does she know that?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/one-look-at-rebecca-and-aunt-b-would-have-an-instant-apoplexy-raphael/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adc/ilona-andrews-150_approval_one-look-at-rebecca-and-aunt-b-would-hav_2310165.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adc/ilona-andrews-150_approval_one-look-at-rebecca-and-aunt-b-would-hav_2310165.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adc/ilona-andrews-150_approval_one-look-at-rebecca-and-aunt-b-would-hav_2310165.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy. Raphael’s eyebrows furrowed. “My mother’s…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. “She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/do-you-have-spies-in-clan-heavy-i-have-spies-everywhere-i-looked-at/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6df/ilona-andrews-150_air_do-you-have-spies-in-clan-heavy-i-have-s_1310240.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6df/ilona-andrews-150_air_do-you-have-spies-in-clan-heavy-i-have-s_1310240.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6df/ilona-andrews-150_air_do-you-have-spies-in-clan-heavy-i-have-s_1310240.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "He isn’t so much flirting,” Cerise murmured. “Either he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t know how.” “Of course he likes you. You’re lovely. He probably just doesn’t get it. Some men have to be hit over the head with it. Her aunt rolled her eyes. “I thought I’d have to draw your uncle Jean a giant sign. That or kidnap him and have my evil way with him, until he got the message.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-isn-t-so-much-flirting-cerise-murmured-either-he-doesn-t-like-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7f/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_he-isn-t-so-much-flirting-cerise-murmure_2025178.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7f/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_he-isn-t-so-much-flirting-cerise-murmure_2025178.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7f/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_he-isn-t-so-much-flirting-cerise-murmure_2025178.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He isn’t so much flirting,” Cerise murmured. “Either he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t know how.” “Of course…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People around me die. They drop like flies. I've gone through life leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me. My mother is dead, my guardian is dead, my aunt is dead—because I killed her, and when my real father finds me, he'll move heaven and earth to make me dead.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/people-around-me-die-they-drop-like-flies-i-ve-gone-through-life/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ea/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_people-around-me-die-they-drop-like-flie_1287506.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ea/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_people-around-me-die-they-drop-like-flie_1287506.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ea/ilona-andrews-150_aunt_people-around-me-die-they-drop-like-flie_1287506.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People around me die. They drop like flies. I've gone through life leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. “I’m just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?” “Sure.” Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn’t the best idea.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/aunt-b-walked-out-onto-the-helipad-wearing-loose-yoga-pants-i-m-just/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/ilona-andrews-150_air_aunt-b-walked-out-onto-the-helipad-weari_187763.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/ilona-andrews-150_air_aunt-b-walked-out-onto-the-helipad-weari_187763.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/ilona-andrews-150_air_aunt-b-walked-out-onto-the-helipad-weari_187763.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. “I’m just here to stretch. 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