--- title: "4 Aunt Quotes By Harold Phifer" description: "4 Aunt quotes by Harold Phifer. Plus more from Harold Phifer and more Aunt sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ce/harold-phifer-45214_adventure_being-mindful-of-aunt-kathy-s-presence-i_748505.jpg" --- > [“Being mindful of Aunt Kathy’s presence, I turned to reading the Bible while sitting in the living room. It was my way ofkeeping my aunt at bay. Yet, my facade didn’t sustain me for long. I got called to the dining table anyway. Next, I was told to follow Jerry’s instructions once we left the house.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/being-mindful-of-aunt-kathy-s-presence-i-turned-to-reading-the-bible/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ce/harold-phifer-45214_adventure_being-mindful-of-aunt-kathy-s-presence-i_748505.jpg) > [“Thanksgiving is no time for amateur hour in the kitchen, but we were subjected to this Gong Show on a yearly basis.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/thanksgiving-is-no-time-for-amateur-hour-in-the-kitchen-but-we-were/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/harold-phifer-45214_abuse_thanksgiving-is-no-time-for-amateur-hour_926902.jpg) > [“Yet the upcoming year was going to be a new phase of my life. I would get to follow my big brother to the big house. I had reached that golden age of six. Finally, I was going to experience the real deal. This was no appetizer, or tater tots, or French fries. This was the whole Ore-Ida.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/yet-the-upcoming-year-was-going-to-be-a-new-phase-of-my-life-i-would/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb9/harold-phifer-45214_christian_yet-the-upcoming-year-was-going-to-be-a_1838397.jpg) > [“If a man was around when Aunt Kathy came by, she would berate him and throw him out. I even saw her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/if-a-man-was-around-when-aunt-kathy-came-by-she-would-berate-him-and/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dea/harold-phifer-45214_aunt_if-a-man-was-around-when-aunt-kathy-came_2797738.jpg) ## Other authors on Aunt ## More by Harold Phifer > [“The teacher pulled out a pile of papers. They were Bennie’s tests and homework assignments. Mrs. Lewis said, “Ma’am, here is the proof that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/the-teacher-pulled-out-a-pile-of-papers-they-were-bennie-s-tests-and/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“Being mindful of Aunt Kathy’s presence, I turned to reading the Bible while sitting in the living room. It was my way ofkeeping my aunt at bay. Yet, my facade didn’t sustain me for long. I got called to the dining table anyway. Next, I was told to follow Jerry’s instructions once we left the house. Then to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/being-mindful-of-aunt-kathy-s-presence-i-turned-to-reading-the-bible/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“Thanksgiving is no time for amateur hour in the kitchen, but we were subjected to this Gong Show on a yearly basis. Aunt Kathy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/thanksgiving-is-no-time-for-amateur-hour-in-the-kitchen-but-we-were/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“One other thing—she was always armed. Ossie May talked about her gun even more than she bragged about her cooking. Out of nowhere, she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/one-other-thing-she-was-always-armed-ossie-may-talked-about-her-gun/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“Yet the upcoming year was going to be a new phase of my life. I would get to follow my big brother to the big house. I had reached that golden age of six. Finally, I was going to experience the real deal. This was no appetizer, or tater tots, or French fries. This was the whole Ore-Ida. I would be amongst thechaos like all the neighborhood kids. Everyone that knew Jerry would get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/yet-the-upcoming-year-was-going-to-be-a-new-phase-of-my-life-i-would/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“I ended up sitting right next to Sexy Patty. The placement wasn’t on purpose. (I needed the hands of God, not a girlfriend.) Since…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/i-ended-up-sitting-right-next-to-sexy-patty-the-placement-wasn-t-on/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“Meantime, a midsize Labrador mutt cut me off at the cul-de-sac. He was in desperate need of a rubdown. I gave it a thought but feared his bark and constant gruff. I locked eyes then noticed his black and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/meantime-a-midsize-labrador-mutt-cut-me-off-at-the-cul-de-sac-he-was/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“I knew Dad was concerned about my past associations. I was from the Trash Alley. It was my community. I hung out with thugs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/i-knew-dad-was-concerned-about-my-past-associations-i-was-from-the/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) > [“If a man was around when Aunt Kathy came by, she would berate him and throw him out. I even saw her toss guys…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-phifer/if-a-man-was-around-when-aunt-kathy-came-by-she-would-berate-him-and/) [Harold Phifer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-phifer/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aunt/harold-phifer/#itemlist", "name": "4 Aunt Quotes By Harold Phifer", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Being mindful of Aunt Kathy’s presence, I turned to reading the Bible while sitting in the living room. It was my way ofkeeping my aunt at bay. Yet, my facade didn’t sustain me for long. I got called to the dining table anyway. Next, I was told to follow Jerry’s instructions once we left the house. Then to my surprise, Aunt Kathy made breakfast for me anyway. Immediately, I was on high alert! “Oh hell, how do I get beyond this meal!” There I was staring at bread blackened on one side and too soggy to fall off the plate. The bacon was two inches thick and fried hard enough to be a shoe insert. The grits had settled to a pace. My eggs were a perfect substitute for popcorn. Even though I had no appetite, I had to gobble something down or risk being ridiculed by my aunt. Aunt Kathy made her own homemade peach preserves. It was extremely sweet and more concentrated than Playdough. I knew if she saw me using her sauce, she’d overlook the other items I left untouched. If lucky, thefermentation was potent enough to buzz me all day long. So, I made sure she’ll see me spreading that paste all over my charcoal toast. Of course, I made the yummy sound “yums” as I took bite after bite. Fortunately, Aunt Kathy fell hook, line, and sinker for my facade. “I seeyou love that jelly! But I’m not going to let you eat all my jam! People will pay lots of money for that good stuff!” “Yes Ma’am,” I said. Simply amazing! Being she had food she thought I liked, there was a limit. But if I hated something then I had to be force-fed. 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