---
title: "2 Assholes Quotes By Nick Offerman"
description: "2 Assholes quotes by Nick Offerman. Plus more from Nick Offerman and more Assholes sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/nick-offerman-2326_air_we-re-cognizant-curious-beings-capable-o_1856855.jpg"
---

> [We're cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we're assholes first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/we-re-cognizant-curious-beings-capable-of-philosophical-thought/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/nick-offerman-2326_air_we-re-cognizant-curious-beings-capable-o_1856855.jpg)

> [“I find it consistently difficult to get around the notion that we are all, in our very natures, assholes. I am an asshole. I’m afraid you are also. That’s why the conversation about good manners even exists in the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-find-it-consistently-difficult-to-get-around-the-notion-that-we-are/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b76/nick-offerman-2326_asshole_i-find-it-consistently-difficult-to-get_2354538.png)

## Other authors on Assholes

## More by Nick Offerman

> [I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-worked-a-lot-in-chicago-s-theater-scene-as-a-fight-choreographer/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-think-that-laziness-in-many-ways-is-the-human-condition-and-that-s/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-learned-as-a-young-man-that-i-don-t-write-jokes-but-that-i-can/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [“Of course, my fundamentals may not work for everyone. A beautiful aspect of the human race is our endless variety. Like maple leaves and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/of-course-my-fundamentals-may-not-work-for-everyone-a-beautiful/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [“Whatever the adversity, if a man is on hand to provide ease to a lady’s cause, I think he’s a shitheel if he stands…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/whatever-the-adversity-if-a-man-is-on-hand-to-provide-ease-to-a-lady/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/if-you-like-comedy-go-home-and-curl-up-with-leviticus-the-writers-of/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-ve-learned-through-experience-that-to-trouble-celebrities-with-my/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [I think that purity creates not only a higher level of artistic vision but a purer work ethic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-think-that-purity-creates-not-only-a-higher-level-of-artistic/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/auditioning-for-television-shows-to-find-a-guy-who-has-a-lot-of/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/my-uncles-who-are-farmers-in-minooka-illinois-i-grew-up-with-them-and/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [A lot of people find themselves in the entertainment business - or perhaps society steers them toward it - because they're beautiful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/a-lot-of-people-find-themselves-in-the-entertainment-business-or/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/you-know-even-working-actors-can-end-up-having-a-lot-of-spare-time/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [“I love my country. Holy shit, do I love America. In many ways, it is the glorious result of some very open-minded thinking on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-love-my-country-holy-shit-do-i-love-america-in-many-ways-it-is-the/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/people-are-afraid-that-they-re-going-to-upset-somebody-on-top-and-so/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

> [Branding is quite an important thing. As an artist, you want to be able to explore facets of yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/branding-is-quite-an-important-thing-as-an-artist-you-want-to-be-able/)

[Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/)

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