---
title: "4 Asshole Quotes By George Carlin"
description: "4 Asshole quotes by George Carlin. Plus more from George Carlin and more Asshole sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26e/george-carlin-155_asshole_your-dog-thinks-you-re-a-god-your-cat-th_248290.jpg"
---

> [Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/your-dog-thinks-you-re-a-god-your-cat-thinks-the-dog-s-an-asshole/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26e/george-carlin-155_asshole_your-dog-thinks-you-re-a-god-your-cat-th_248290.jpg)

> [Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/looking-back-i-realize-that-my-life-has-been-a-series-of-incidents/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/925/george-carlin-155_has-beens_looking-back-i-realize-that-my-life-has_1329534.jpg)

> [The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-more-complicated-the-order-the-bigger-the-asshole-if-you-walk/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe3/george-carlin-155_bigger_the-more-complicated-the-order-the-bigge_1677611.jpg)

> [“You're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-re-just-another-american-who-is-willfully-ignorant-of-the-big-red/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6d/george-carlin-155_american-dream_you-re-just-another-american-who-is-will_3236371.jpg)

## Other authors on Asshole

## More by George Carlin

> [I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-never-go-anywhere-or-do-anything-that-transports-me-outside-the/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/with-the-proper-training-i-could-ve-been-an-evil-genius/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/comedy-although-it-is-not-one-of-the-fine-arts-it-s-a-vulgar-art-it-s/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-m-completely-in-favor-of-the-separation-of-church-and-state-these/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/tomorrow-is-another-day-not-true-today-is-another-day-we-have-no-idea/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-was-a-loner-as-a-child-i-had-an-imaginary-friend-i-didn-t-bother/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-gas-take-your-next-trip-in/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-you-guys-want-to-get-a-mom-tattoo-and-save-a-little-money-just-get/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-ve-built-up-so-much-speed-that-you-hit-70-after-that-it-s-a-day/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/it-ended-suddenly-for-brenda-more-slowly-for-me-my-runs-began-getting/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [Is there another word for synonym?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/is-there-another-word-for-synonym/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-whole-idea-of-the-pursuit-of-goods-and-possessions-has-completely/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/these-days-many-politicians-are-demanding-change-just-like-homeless/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-know-the-good-part-about-all-those-executions-in-texas-fewer/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [What was the best thing before sliced bread?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/what-was-the-best-thing-before-sliced-bread/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

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