--- title: "1 Ass Tastes Quotes By Fanny Merkin" description: "1 Ass Tastes quotes by Fanny Merkin. Plus more from Fanny Merkin and more Ass Tastes sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/fanny-merkin-29631_coffee_i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-c_301102.jpg" --- > [“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say. “Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.” “And how would you know what burnt ass tastes like?” He laughs. “That’s for me to know…and you to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-coffee-tastes-like-burnt-ass-i/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/fanny-merkin-29631_coffee_i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-c_301102.jpg) ## More by Fanny Merkin > [“HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/holy-mother-effing-sparkly-vampires-is-he-hot/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I'd do you." "I think you did once" I say. "Oh yeah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-d-do-you-i-think-you-did-once-i-say-oh-yeah/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say. “Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.” “And how would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-coffee-tastes-like-burnt-ass-i/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“Mr. Long Fingers. Mr. Womb-Ticklers”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/mr-long-fingers-mr-womb-ticklers/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“My god, Anna,” he says. “I almost lost you.” He has me in his powerful grip. I’ve never felt this safe before. “Never let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/my-god-anna-he-says-i-almost-lost-you-he-has-me-in-his-powerful-grip/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I stare at her blankly. We don't have elevators in Portland. "This is my first elevator ride. How do they work exactly?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-stare-at-her-blankly-we-don-t-have-elevators-in-portland-this-is-my/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“Soon, we are as naked as the day we were born. Except, y'know, were not covered in blood and attached to our mothers by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/soon-we-are-as-naked-as-the-day-we-were-born-except-y-know-were-not/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I feel naked in my Tommy hoodie and Victoria's Secret sweatpants with PINK written across the ass. The sweatpants aren't pink though - they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-feel-naked-in-my-tommy-hoodie-and-victoria-s-secret-sweatpants-with/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“Are you ready for my love gun?” he says. Uh-oh. “What’s a love gun? Is that a sex toy?” “No,” he says. “I’m talking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/are-you-ready-for-my-love-gun-he-says-uh-oh-what-s-a-love-gun-is-that/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“Walmart suddenly smells like a prosti-tot pageant.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/walmart-suddenly-smells-like-a-prosti-tot-pageant/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“An attractive blonde behind the receptionist's desk smiles at me as I walk in. I assume she’s the receptionist, because I can’t think of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/an-attractive-blonde-behind-the-receptionist-s-desk-smiles-at-me-as-i/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“Here’s the aisle with tape.” “Thank you, Miss Steal,” he says. He picks up the most expensive brand, which runs $3.99 a roll. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/here-s-the-aisle-with-tape-thank-you-miss-steal-he-says-he-picks-up/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades messed up. Why is it so kinky and out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-growl-with-frustration-at-my-reflection-in-the-mirror-my-hair-is/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I spend the rest of the night doing schoolwork. After striking a match and lighting a candal, I sit down at my desk with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-spend-the-rest-of-the-night-doing-schoolwork-after-striking-a-match/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) > [“I walk through the glass doors and into the lobby, which is floor-to-ceiling glass and steel. This fascinates me to no end, because buildings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-walk-through-the-glass-doors-and-into-the-lobby-which-is-floor-to/) [Fanny Merkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fanny-merkin/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ass-tastes/fanny-merkin/#itemlist", "name": "1 Ass Tastes Quotes By Fanny Merkin", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say. “Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.” “And how would you know what burnt ass tastes like?” He laughs. “That’s for me to know…and you to find out.” I’m not sure I want to find out, but whatever.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Fanny Merkin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fanny-merkin/i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-coffee-tastes-like-burnt-ass-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/fanny-merkin-29631_coffee_i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-c_301102.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/fanny-merkin-29631_coffee_i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-c_301102.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/fanny-merkin-29631_coffee_i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-c_301102.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say. “Actually, it tastes nothing…” — Fanny Merkin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ass-tastes/fanny-merkin/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ass-tastes/fanny-merkin/", "name": "Ass Tastes Quotes by Fanny Merkin", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ass-tastes/fanny-merkin/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/fanny-merkin-29631_coffee_i-drink-coffee-sometimes-but-starbucks-c_301102.jpg" }, "description": "1 Ass Tastes quotes by Fanny Merkin. 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