--- title: "1 Asked Colonel Quotes By Joseph Heller" description: "1 Asked Colonel quotes by Joseph Heller. Plus more from Joseph Heller and more Asked Colonel sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a0/joseph-heller-601_said-colonel_just-what-the-hell-did-you-mean-you-bast_2418540.png" --- > [“Just what the hell did you mean, you bastard, when you said we couldn't punish you?" said the corporal who could take shorthand reading from his steno pad. "All right," said the colonel. "Just what the hell did you mean?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/just-what-the-hell-did-you-mean-you-bastard-when-you-said-we-couldn-t/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a0/joseph-heller-601_said-colonel_just-what-the-hell-did-you-mean-you-bast_2418540.png) ## More by Joseph Heller > [“Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some catch, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/yossarian-was-moved-very-deeply-by-the-absolute-simplicity-of-this/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/from-men-motivated-by-moral-certitude-history-teaches-no-lasting-good/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [I’m cold,' Snowden said softly, 'I’m cold.' 'You’re going to be all right, kid,' Yossarian reassured him with a grin. 'You’re going to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/i-m-cold-snowden-said-softly-i-m-cold-you-re-going-to-be-all-right/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/the-enemy-is-anybody-who-s-going-to-get-you-killed-no-matter-which/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“They think that they’re smart and that the rest of us are dumb.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/they-think-that-they-re-smart-and-that-the-rest-of-us-are-dumb/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/there-was-only-one-catch-and-that-was-catch-22-which-specified-that-a/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“Captain Flume was obsessed with the idea that Chief White Halfoat would tiptoe up to his cot one night when he was sound asleep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/captain-flume-was-obsessed-with-the-idea-that-chief-white-halfoat/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/depreciating-motels-junked-automobiles-and-quick-food-joints-grow/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“That was where he wanted to be if he had to be there at all, instead of hung out there in front like some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/that-was-where-he-wanted-to-be-if-he-had-to-be-there-at-all-instead/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/i-had-examined-myself-pretty-thoroughly-and-discovered-that-i-was/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“Yossarian was moved by such intense pity for his poverty that he wanted to smash his pale. sad, sickly face with his fist and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/yossarian-was-moved-by-such-intense-pity-for-his-poverty-that-he/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate." "Consciously, sir, consciously,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/you-have-deep-seated-survival-anxieties-and-you-don-t-like-bigots/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“His specialty was alfalfa, and he made a good thing out of not growing any. The government paid him well for every bushel of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/his-specialty-was-alfalfa-and-he-made-a-good-thing-out-of-not-growing/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [Every writer I know has trouble writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/every-writer-i-know-has-trouble-writing/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) > [“No such private nights of ecstasy or hushed-up drinking and sex orgies ever occurred. They might have occurred if either General Dreedle or General…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/no-such-private-nights-of-ecstasy-or-hushed-up-drinking-and-sex/) [Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asked-colonel/joseph-heller/#itemlist", "name": "1 Asked Colonel Quotes By Joseph Heller", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Just what the hell did you mean, you bastard, when you said we couldn't punish you?\" said the corporal who could take shorthand reading from his steno pad. \"All right,\" said the colonel. \"Just what the hell did you mean?\" \"I didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir.\" \"When,\" asked the colonel. \"When what, sir?\" \"Now you're asking me questions again.\" \"I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid I don't understand your question.\" \"When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? Don't you understand my question?\" \"No, sir, I don't understand.\" \"You've just told us that. Now suppose you answer my question.\" \"But how can I answer it?\" \"That's another question you're asking me.\" \"I'm sorry, sir. But I don't know how to answer it. I never said you couldn't punish me.\" \"Now you're telling us what you did say. 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