--- title: "4 Ask me Quotes By George Carlin" description: "4 Ask me quotes by George Carlin. Plus more from George Carlin and more Ask me sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ae/george-carlin-155_ask-me_i-hope-no-one-asks-me-to-show-them-the-r_1161712.jpg" --- > [I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-hope-no-one-asks-me-to-show-them-the-ropes-i-have-no-idea-where/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ae/george-carlin-155_ask-me_i-hope-no-one-asks-me-to-show-them-the-r_1161712.jpg) > [Religion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/religion-religion-at-best-at-best-is-like-a-lift-in-your-shoe-if-you/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/989/george-carlin-155_ask-me_religion-religion-at-best-at-best-is-lik_2216415.jpg) > [If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-you-ask-me-we-could-do-with-a-little-less-motivation-the-people/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e8/george-carlin-155_ask-me_if-you-ask-me-we-could-do-with-a-little_2320863.jpg) > [Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/religion-is-sort-of-like-a-lift-in-your-shoes-if-it-makes-you-feel/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43a/george-carlin-155_ask-me_religion-is-sort-of-like-a-lift-in-your_2607218.jpg) ## Other authors on Ask me ## More by George Carlin > [I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-never-go-anywhere-or-do-anything-that-transports-me-outside-the/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/with-the-proper-training-i-could-ve-been-an-evil-genius/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/comedy-although-it-is-not-one-of-the-fine-arts-it-s-a-vulgar-art-it-s/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-m-completely-in-favor-of-the-separation-of-church-and-state-these/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/tomorrow-is-another-day-not-true-today-is-another-day-we-have-no-idea/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-was-a-loner-as-a-child-i-had-an-imaginary-friend-i-didn-t-bother/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-gas-take-your-next-trip-in/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-you-guys-want-to-get-a-mom-tattoo-and-save-a-little-money-just-get/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-ve-built-up-so-much-speed-that-you-hit-70-after-that-it-s-a-day/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/it-ended-suddenly-for-brenda-more-slowly-for-me-my-runs-began-getting/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Is there another word for synonym?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/is-there-another-word-for-synonym/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-whole-idea-of-the-pursuit-of-goods-and-possessions-has-completely/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/these-days-many-politicians-are-demanding-change-just-like-homeless/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-know-the-good-part-about-all-those-executions-in-texas-fewer/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [What was the best thing before sliced bread?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/what-was-the-best-thing-before-sliced-bread/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ask-me/george-carlin/#itemlist", "name": "4 Ask me Quotes By George Carlin", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. 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