--- title: "1 Ask John Quotes By David Wong" description: "1 Ask John quotes by David Wong. Plus more from David Wong and more Ask John sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/501/david-wong-1098_another-man_here-s-where-things-get-hazy-john-claims_1261669.png" --- > [“Here's where things get hazy. John claims that the men hauling him away from the scene were escorted by other men carrying submachine guns, though when pressed, he admitted that they may have been flashlights. Either way, John says the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/here-s-where-things-get-hazy-john-claims-that-the-men-hauling-him/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/501/david-wong-1098_another-man_here-s-where-things-get-hazy-john-claims_1261669.png) ## More by David Wong > [“A realization washed over her in that cold, dark space: this was how virtually all living things born on earth have died—with teeth tearing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/a-realization-washed-over-her-in-that-cold-dark-space-this-was-how/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/let-s-say-you-have-an-ax-just-a-cheap-one-from-home-depot-on-one/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-let-me-make-one-thing-clear-jim-said-cutting-me-off-in-his-most/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-ducked-casually-across-some-do-not-duck-casually-across-this/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/he-made-the-engine-growl-and-told-the-headlights-to-fuck-the-night/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Marconi said, "I see you have your instruments. Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best." John said, "I can sing." I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/marconi-said-i-see-you-have-your-instruments-can-any-of-you-sing-the/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible assassin. One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/it-s-the-microscopic-parasite-that-causes-malaria-nearly-half-of-all/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John to step…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/at-this-point-two-elderly-security-guards-in-parkas-the-guys-who/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“I stared at the price tags and thought, Why don’t you fucking kill yourself? I have that thought a lot, actually. Hey, did you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-stared-at-the-price-tags-and-thought-why-don-t-you-fucking-kill/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Well, you’d better hope I am because the world was built by sociopaths, men willing to send a million innocent boys into battle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/well-you-d-better-hope-i-am-because-the-world-was-built-by-sociopaths/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/there-is-no-word-in-the-english-language-for-the-feeling-someone-gets/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s LEGO set.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/around-us-the-disembodied-human-limbs-were-piling-up-forming-a-circle/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-tried-to-say-something-cool-wound-up-stammering-something-like/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [John flung himself into a pseudo-karate stance, one hand poised behind him and one in front, posed like a cartoon cactus. I thought for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-flung-himself-into-a-pseudo-karate-stance-one-hand-poised-behind/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Imagine fifty thousand men trapped on a desert island, deprived of food and water and sex but somehow kept alive for fifty thousand years.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/imagine-fifty-thousand-men-trapped-on-a-desert-island-deprived-of/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ask-john/david-wong/#itemlist", "name": "1 Ask John Quotes By David Wong", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Here's where things get hazy. John claims that the men hauling him away from the scene were escorted by other men carrying submachine guns, though when pressed, he admitted that they may have been flashlights. Either way, John says the men threw him down and intended to execute him, at which point he kicked one of the men in the face and backflipped to his feet. He then wrestled away the man's gun and \"dick-whipped\" him with it. I am unclear as to whether or not this means he struck the man in the groin or merely slapped him in the same manner in which he would slap a person with his dick. I never ask John to clarify such things. 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