--- title: "1 Ask Father Quotes By Barbara Elsborg" description: "1 Ask Father quotes by Barbara Elsborg. Plus more from Barbara Elsborg and more Ask Father sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b6/barbara-elsborg-13499_don-t-dish-what-you_how-big-s-your-dick-zak-blurted-his-fath_2078423.jpg" --- > [“ 'How big's your dick?' Zak blurted. His father gave a roar of outrage. 'How good's your dental plan?' asked Number Five. Zak laughed. 'You can't ask that,' his father snapped at his side. 'My favorite composer is Rachmaninov. My…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/how-big-s-your-dick-zak-blurted-his-father-gave-a-roar-of-outrage-how/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b6/barbara-elsborg-13499_don-t-dish-what-you_how-big-s-your-dick-zak-blurted-his-fath_2078423.jpg) ## More by Barbara Elsborg > [“ 'I don't remember if I thanked you for saving me,' he said. 'So thank you.' 'You're welcome.' 'Though after this morning, I've added…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/i-don-t-remember-if-i-thanked-you-for-saving-me-he-said-so-thank-you/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“You have some lovely books," she said. "I like the one with the pictures of polar bears." "The books with words too tricky?" She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/you-have-some-lovely-books-she-said-i-like-the-one-with-the-pictures/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones." He laughed. "You know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/you-know-why-doctors-slap-babies-on-the-bottom-when-they-re-born-so/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“ 'A hundred and seventy two multiplied by thirteen,' Tyler gasped. 'Two thousand two hundred and thirty six.' 'You're not supposed to bloody tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/a-hundred-and-seventy-two-multiplied-by-thirteen-tyler-gasped-two/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“ 'How long do you want me to stay in there so you can talk about me behind my back?' Zak called. 'A couple…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/how-long-do-you-want-me-to-stay-in-there-so-you-can-talk-about-me/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“Books to read. Bitches to push out of the door.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/books-to-read-bitches-to-push-out-of-the-door/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“She wasn't fit to be a member of society. Her mind was a running sewer. The raunchiest teenager didn't think about sex as much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/she-wasn-t-fit-to-be-a-member-of-society-her-mind-was-a-running-sewer/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“The moment he felt well enough to walk any distance, he was out of here and flying to someplace hot. Hopefully not hell.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/the-moment-he-felt-well-enough-to-walk-any-distance-he-was-out-of/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“...do me the very great honor of becoming...the person who'll cook me lovely things to eat, who'll cheer me up when I'm miserable, who'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/do-me-the-very-great-honor-of-becoming-the-person-who-ll-cook-me/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“Look at me, Kate." She raised her eyes to his. "What do you see?" She thought for a moment. "You've got a spot." Charlie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/look-at-me-kate-she-raised-her-eyes-to-his-what-do-you-see-she/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“The higher up I hold it, the less painful the hot wax.”…“Try hanging off the ceiling and dropping it from there.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/the-higher-up-i-hold-it-the-less-painful-the-hot-wax-try-hanging-off/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“Don't you watch any cop shows?" Logan asked. "You're supposed to wait until I've made sure there are no guys with submachine guns and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/don-t-you-watch-any-cop-shows-logan-asked-you-re-supposed-to-wait/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“You hurt me more than that bullet. Not by lying about who you were but by not coming to see me. You’re supposed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/you-hurt-me-more-than-that-bullet-not-by-lying-about-who-you-were-but/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“While you let those scars affect what you do, you’re allowing your punishment to continue. It’s done. You need to move on. Shit, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/while-you-let-those-scars-affect-what-you-do-you-re-allowing-your/) [Barbara Elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) > [“The power that was your father's." He looked at her bewildered face. "To get it, I need to take you away." "Where to?" "A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-elsborg/the-power-that-was-your-father-s-he-looked-at-her-bewildered-face-to/) [barbara elsborg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-elsborg/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ask-father/barbara-elsborg/#itemlist", "name": "1 Ask Father Quotes By Barbara Elsborg", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“ 'How big's your dick?' Zak blurted. His father gave a roar of outrage. 'How good's your dental plan?' asked Number Five. Zak laughed. 'You can't ask that,' his father snapped at his side. 'My favorite composer is Rachmaninov. My last client moved to New Zealand. There's nothing stuck to my shoe. I had fruit for breakfast and I don't waste my time worrying. I make sure there's never anything to worry about.' 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