--- title: "6 Apologizing Quotes By Harriet Lerner" description: "6 Apologizing quotes by Harriet Lerner. Plus more from Harriet Lerner and more Apologizing sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/915/harriet-lerner-4248_apologizing_being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one_158738.jpg" --- > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/915/harriet-lerner-4248_apologizing_being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one_158738.jpg) > [I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/i-m-a-good-example-of-wanting-to-apologize-only-for-my-precise-share/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52e/harriet-lerner-4248_absurd_i-m-a-good-example-of-wanting-to-apologi_1258390.jpg) > [It's true that over-apologizing interrupts the flow of conversation and irritates the person who has to stop and offer reassurance, like, "No,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-s-true-that-over-apologizing-interrupts-the-flow-of-conversation/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/392/harriet-lerner-4248_apology_it-s-true-that-over-apologizing-interrup_1609727.jpg) > [If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. Some folks lack the self-esteem required to take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-apologizer-it-won-t-help-to/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg) > [Request an apology when you believe you deserve one, but don't get in a tug of war about it. Instead, be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/request-an-apology-when-you-believe-you-deserve-one-but-don-t-get-in/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/324/harriet-lerner-4248_accepting_request-an-apology-when-you-believe-you_2638586.jpg) > [Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, "I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/often-when-someone-apologizes-like-a-parent-who-says-to-a-child-i-m/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0bc/harriet-lerner-4248_apologizing_often-when-someone-apologizes-like-a-par_2836359.jpg) ## Other authors on Apologizing ## More by Harriet Lerner > [“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/letting-go-of-anger-and-hate-requires-us-to-give-up-the-hope-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-s-a-widespread-belief-that-if-you-have-solid-self-esteem-you/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-is-an-act-of-courage-to-acknowledge-our-own-uncertainty-and-sit/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/silence-can-pose-a-greater-threat-than-the-difficult-truth/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/nothing-you-say-can-ensure-that-the-other-person-will-get-it-or/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/kids-want-nothing-more-than-for-all-the-important-adults-in-their/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/people-s-sense-of-self-worth-is-pivotal-to-their-ability-to-look/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/everyone-freaks-out-sometimes-the-best-we-can-do-with-fear-is/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-bolder-and-more-courageous-you-are-the-more-you-will-learn-about/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/underground-issues-from-one-relationship-or-context-invariably-fuel/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-are-some-things-for-which-there-is-no-apology-and-on-the/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/don-t-count-on-the-power-of-your-love-or-your-nagging-to-create/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apologizing/harriet-lerner/#itemlist", "name": "6 Apologizing Quotes By Harriet Lerner", "numberOfItems": 6, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, \"Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm taking this seriously\" - is at the heart of being successful in leadership, parenting, and friendship, as well as our own integrity and self-worth. And the failure to apologize? 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Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/i-m-a-good-example-of-wanting-to-apologize-only-for-my-precise-share/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52e/harriet-lerner-4248_absurd_i-m-a-good-example-of-wanting-to-apologi_1258390.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52e/harriet-lerner-4248_absurd_i-m-a-good-example-of-wanting-to-apologi_1258390.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52e/harriet-lerner-4248_absurd_i-m-a-good-example-of-wanting-to-apologi_1258390.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's true that over-apologizing interrupts the flow of conversation and irritates the person who has to stop and offer reassurance, like, \"No, it's fine, don't worry about it.\" But far greater than the challenge of toning down unnecessary \"sorrys\" is offering an apology when one is due.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-s-true-that-over-apologizing-interrupts-the-flow-of-conversation/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/392/harriet-lerner-4248_apology_it-s-true-that-over-apologizing-interrup_1609727.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/392/harriet-lerner-4248_apology_it-s-true-that-over-apologizing-interrup_1609727.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/392/harriet-lerner-4248_apology_it-s-true-that-over-apologizing-interrup_1609727.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's true that over-apologizing interrupts the flow of conversation and irritates the person who has to stop…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. 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And many people are so hard on themselves for the mistakes they make, they don't have the emotional room to admit vulnerability and apologize to a partner.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-apologizer-it-won-t-help-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/harriet-lerner-4248_apologize_if-you-re-married-to-an-entrenched-non-a_2609406.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. 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