---
title: "64 Answering Machine Quotes by 58 authors"
description: "Browse 64 Answering Machine quotes by 58 authors. Discover the best Answering Machine sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f95/igor-levit-35379_answering-machines_i-m-much-better-at-saying-something-on-t_1510512.jpg"
---

> [I'm much better at saying something on the answering machine than texting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/igor-levit/i-m-much-better-at-saying-something-on-the-answering-machine-than/)

[Igor Levit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/igor-levit/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f95/igor-levit-35379_answering-machines_i-m-much-better-at-saying-something-on-t_1510512.jpg)

> [I'm not an answering machine, I'm a questioning machine. If we have all the answers, how come we're in such as mess?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-cardinal/i-m-not-an-answering-machine-i-m-a-questioning-machine-if-we-have-all/)

Douglas Cardinal

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b66/douglas-cardinal-73802_answering-machines_i-m-not-an-answering-machine-i-m-a-quest_1920950.jpg)

> [It's great to just disappear, grab a suitcase, switch the answering machine on and just go somewhere else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dido-armstrong/it-s-great-to-just-disappear-grab-a-suitcase-switch-the-answering/)

[Dido Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dido-armstrong/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/dido-armstrong-19097_computers_it-s-great-to-just-disappear-grab-a-suit_709344.png)

> [Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janeane-garofalo/sage-advice-if-you-re-drunk-stay-away-from-the-phone-you-can-t-get/)

[Janeane Garofalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janeane-garofalo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ff/janeane-garofalo-1940_advice_sage-advice-if-you-re-drunk-stay-away-fr_2708072.png)

> [I don't even like hearing my own voice on an answering machine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/china-chow/i-don-t-even-like-hearing-my-own-voice-on-an-answering-machine/)

[China Chow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/china-chow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc0/china-chow-40394_computers_i-don-t-even-like-hearing-my-own-voice-o_641899.jpg)

> [I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-have-an-answering-machine-in-my-car-it-says-i-m-home-now-but-leave/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c4/steven-wright-432_car_i-have-an-answering-machine-in-my-car-it_3085305.jpg)

> [Telephone message on his manager's answering machine shortly before dying of heroin overdose: I need help bad, man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimi-hendrix/telephone-message-on-his-manager-s-answering-machine-shortly-before/)

[Jimi Hendrix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimi-hendrix/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10b/jimi-hendrix-1491_answering-machines_telephone-message-on-his-manager-s-answe_985579.jpg)

> [I think people who aren't in film experience that when they hear their voice on an answering machine or something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-portman/i-think-people-who-aren-t-in-film-experience-that-when-they-hear/)

[Natalie Portman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-portman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77f/natalie-portman-1515_answering-machines_i-think-people-who-aren-t-in-film-experi_391190.jpg)

> [“In most cases, it is more satisfying to get a friend's answering machine and leave a cheery, tangible trace of your sincere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-krouse-rosenthal/in-most-cases-it-is-more-satisfying-to-get-a-friend-s-answering/)

[Amy Krouse Rosenthal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-krouse-rosenthal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a01/amy-krouse-rosenthal-26868_communication_in-most-cases-it-is-more-satisfying-to-g_2000779.jpg)

> [“Also suggest they place this message on their answering machine/cell phone and on the front door: “We had the baby, it’s a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-davis/also-suggest-they-place-this-message-on-their-answering-machine-cell/)

[Elizabeth Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-davis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f70/elizabeth-davis-62066_cell-phone_also-suggest-they-place-this-message-on_2646315.jpg)

> [No one is calling me. I can’t check the answering machine because I have been here all this time. If I go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lydia-davis/no-one-is-calling-me-i-can-t-check-the-answering-machine-because-i/)

[Lydia Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lydia-davis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ce/lydia-davis-3244_calling_no-one-is-calling-me-i-can-t-check-the-a_555284.png)

> [The void is ready to snatch you up like a Pac Man machine and Laskshmi is on vacation. You chant Sring -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/the-void-is-ready-to-snatch-you-up-like-a-pac-man-machine-and/)

[Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da0/frederick-lenz-8_answering-machines_the-void-is-ready-to-snatch-you-up-like_1622910.jpg)

> [Texting is a lot like an answering machine. If you don't want to talk to somebody, it's like screening your calls. To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-gillick/texting-is-a-lot-like-an-answering-machine-if-you-don-t-want-to-talk/)

[Pat Gillick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-gillick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/pat-gillick-30532_answering_texting-is-a-lot-like-an-answering-machi_1848158.jpg)

> [Experiencing yourself out of context, divorced from your usual point of view, skews your perspective its like hearing your voice on an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slash/experiencing-yourself-out-of-context-divorced-from-your-usual-point/)

[Slash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slash/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/954/slash-4766_computers_experiencing-yourself-out-of-context-div_924909.png)

> [You wonder if God doesn't have an answering machine to screen out the prayers of the venal and the boring? And in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-robbins/you-wonder-if-god-doesn-t-have-an-answering-machine-to-screen-out-the/)

[Tom Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-robbins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/143/tom-robbins-169_answering-machines_you-wonder-if-god-doesn-t-have-an-answer_891590.jpg)

> [I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-lindsay/i-let-it-ring-i-wanted-to-breathe-for-a-few-minutes-and-i-could-think/)

[Jeff Lindsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-lindsay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c68/jeff-lindsay-1259_breathe_i-let-it-ring-i-wanted-to-breathe-for-a_2347510.png)

> [I do have a huge problem, a huge problem. In fact, worse than watching is hearing. I cannot stand to hear my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-laurie/i-do-have-a-huge-problem-a-huge-problem-in-fact-worse-than-watching/)

[Hugh Laurie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-laurie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae0/hugh-laurie-2413_answering-machines_i-do-have-a-huge-problem-a-huge-problem_2978388.png)

> [I think about the automobile, I think about like, when I was a kid, you know, the invention of the answering machine,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashton-kutcher/i-think-about-the-automobile-i-think-about-like-when-i-was-a-kid-you/)

[Ashton Kutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashton-kutcher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26d/ashton-kutcher-1601_automobile_i-think-about-the-automobile-i-think-abo_1567781.jpg)

> [“We don’t want the CD; we want the music it plays. We don’t want the disc; we want the storage it holds.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-don-t-want-the-cd-we-want-the-music-it-plays-we-don-t-want-the/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cb/anonymous-1_computers_we-don-t-want-the-cd-we-want-the-music-i_2789466.jpg)

> [Everybody has a ‘gripping stranger’ in their lives, Andy, a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarre hold over you. Maybe it’s the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-coupland/everybody-has-a-gripping-stranger-in-their-lives-andy-a-stranger-who/)

[Douglas Coupland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-coupland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5da/douglas-coupland-305_bizarre_everybody-has-a-gripping-stranger-in-the_2641018.jpg)

> [Fax me a fact and I'll telegram a hologram or telephone the son of man and tell him he is done. Leave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saul-williams/fax-me-a-fact-and-i-ll-telegram-a-hologram-or-telephone-the-son-of/)

[Saul Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saul-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a34/saul-williams-3868_answering-machines_fax-me-a-fact-and-i-ll-telegram-a-hologr_30260.png)

> [You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlaine-harris/you-ve-reached-fantasia-where-the-undead-live-again-every-night-for/)

[Charlaine Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlaine-harris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/charlaine-harris-542_alive_you-ve-reached-fantasia-where-the-undead_1725229.jpg)

> [Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/screening-telephone-calls-with-a-receptionist-or-the-humbler/)

[Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b5/judith-martin-1927_answering-machines_screening-telephone-calls-with-a-recepti_2122047.jpg)

> [“into our house? (Don’t expect me to know. I was fast asleep.) When I’d finally staggered downstairs on Sunday morning, I’d found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-m-martin/into-our-house-don-t-expect-me-to-know-i-was-fast-asleep-when-i-d/)

[Ann M. Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-m-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09f/ann-m-martin-10117_bad-idea_into-our-house-don-t-expect-me-to-know-i_2615900.jpg)

> [“She stared at me "You have a message," she said. "On you machine." I looked over at my answering machine. Sure enough,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-lindsay/she-stared-at-me-you-have-a-message-she-said-on-you-machine-i-looked/)

[Jeff Lindsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-lindsay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/862/jeff-lindsay-1259_carpe-diem_she-stared-at-me-you-have-a-message-she_294175.png)

> [On September 11 one of the messages on our answering machine was from The New Yorker saying get down here right away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/art-spiegelman/on-september-11-one-of-the-messages-on-our-answering-machine-was-from/)

[Art Spiegelman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/art-spiegelman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e13/art-spiegelman-14058_computers_on-september-11-one-of-the-messages-on-o_2650221.jpg)

> [“A couple months after school started that year, I just plain stopped going to see the Maje. I remember coming home one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-steve-o-glover/a-couple-months-after-school-started-that-year-i-just-plain-stopped/)

Stephen "Steve-O" Glover

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab6/stephen-steve-o-glover-89947_broke-my-heart_a-couple-months-after-school-started-tha_2077290.jpg)

> [“Grown-ups aren’t supposed to talk about “best friends,” but he was among my closest and certainly my most constant friend from then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-kreider/grown-ups-aren-t-supposed-to-talk-about-best-friends-but-he-was-among/)

[Tim Kreider](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-kreider/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fd/tim-kreider-10379_best-friend_grown-ups-aren-t-supposed-to-talk-about_2033885.jpg)

> [“She never opened her mail in the middle of the day. Sometimes she forgot about it for a week or more until…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicci-french/she-never-opened-her-mail-in-the-middle-of-the-day-sometimes-she/)

[Nicci French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicci-french/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/528/nicci-french-38320_answering-machines_she-never-opened-her-mail-in-the-middle_922236.jpg)

> [“Eventually he'd let the answering machine take over and had hidden in his studio. Where he's hidden all his life. From the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/eventually-he-d-let-the-answering-machine-take-over-and-had-hidden-in/)

[Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c20/louise-penny-1059_computers_eventually-he-d-let-the-answering-machin_1811102.jpg)

> [“When I had the third breakdown, the mini-breakdown, I was in the late stages of writing this book. Since I could not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-had-the-third-breakdown-the-mini-breakdown-i-was-in-the-late/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/andrew-solomon-1140_books_when-i-had-the-third-breakdown-the-mini_2790510.jpg)

> [“Avis puts aside the 'Saint-Honore' and decides to embark on a new pastry. She's assembling ingredients when the phone rings in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-abu-jaber/avis-puts-aside-the-saint-honore-and-decides-to-embark-on-a-new/)

[Diana Abu-Jaber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-abu-jaber/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b8/diana-abu-jaber-10382_avis-muir_avis-puts-aside-the-saint-honore-and-dec_1779646.jpg)

> [“I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackson-katz/i-draw-a-line-down-the-middle-of-a-chalkboard-sketching-a-male-symbol/)

[Jackson Katz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackson-katz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28a/jackson-katz-17227_cell-phone_i-draw-a-line-down-the-middle-of-a-chalk_2663564.jpg)

> [“Colby Lane and Pierce Hutton had the manager of Tate’s apartment building open his door for them. They knew that Tate had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-palmer/colby-lane-and-pierce-hutton-had-the-manager-of-tate-s-apartment/)

[Diana Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-palmer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dae/diana-palmer-4730_gaze_colby-lane-and-pierce-hutton-had-the-man_1025108.png)

> [Gotta change my answering machine. Now that I'm alone. Cause right now it says that we, can't come to the phone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ne-yo/gotta-change-my-answering-machine-now-that-i-m-alone-cause-right-now/)

[Ne-yo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ne-yo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dae/ne-yo-1329_computers_gotta-change-my-answering-machine-now-th_1731657.png)

> [“I believe leaders should be questioning machine, rather than an answering machine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saji-ijiyemi/i-believe-leaders-should-be-questioning-machine-rather-than-an/)

[Saji Ijiyemi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saji-ijiyemi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8bd/saji-ijiyemi-20400_computers_i-believe-leaders-should-be-questioning_2415711.jpg)

> [I have a friend of mine who does me on his answering machine, and when I call him, I answer. It's pretty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-walken/i-have-a-friend-of-mine-who-does-me-on-his-answering-machine-and-when/)

[Christopher Walken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-walken/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a5/christopher-walken-1773_answering_i-have-a-friend-of-mine-who-does-me-on-h_446446.jpg)

> [Well, mi get a call from sexy Maxine. She left a message pon mi answering machine she seh Beenie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beenie-man/well-mi-get-a-call-from-sexy-maxine-she-left-a-message-pon-mi/)

[Beenie Man](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beenie-man/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a1/beenie-man-21027_computers_well-mi-get-a-call-from-sexy-maxine-she_2372581.jpg)

> [I'm definitely a child of the 21st century and I prefer texting to phone calls, but I would prefer an answering machine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brendan-dooling/i-m-definitely-a-child-of-the-21st-century-and-i-prefer-texting-to/)

[Brendan Dooling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brendan-dooling/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16f/brendan-dooling-29610_21st-century_i-m-definitely-a-child-of-the-21st-centu_212921.jpg)

> [You know, if you ever listen to your voice on an answering machine everyone thinks we sound dreadful. That's sort of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curt-smith/you-know-if-you-ever-listen-to-your-voice-on-an-answering-machine/)

[Curt Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curt-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61a/curt-smith-5967_communication_you-know-if-you-ever-listen-to-your-voic_1605645.jpg)

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                        "text": "Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.",
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                        "text": "I don't even like hearing my own voice on an answering machine.",
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                        "text": "I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.",
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                        "text": "Telephone message on his manager's answering machine shortly before dying of heroin overdose: I need help bad, man.",
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                        "text": "I think people who aren't in film experience that when they hear their voice on an answering machine or something.",
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                        "text": "“In most cases, it is more satisfying to get a friend's answering machine and leave a cheery, tangible trace of your sincere commitment to the friendship than it is to engage in actual conversation.”",
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                        "text": "“Also suggest they place this message on their answering machine/cell phone and on the front door: “We had the baby, it’s a _____, we’re fine but tired, enjoying our babymoon. Please call in a few days so we can plan to have you over.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "No one is calling me. I can’t check the answering machine because I have been here all this time. If I go out, someone may call while I’m out. Then I can check the answering machine when I come back in.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The void is ready to snatch you up like a Pac Man machine and Laskshmi is on vacation. You chant Sring - and you get her answering machine.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Frederick Lenz"
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                        "text": "Texting is a lot like an answering machine. If you don't want to talk to somebody, it's like screening your calls. To me, it's a way of communication, but not one that I favor.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Experiencing yourself out of context, divorced from your usual point of view, skews your perspective its like hearing your voice on an answering machine. Its almost like meeting a stranger; or discovering a talent you never knew you had.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You wonder if God doesn't have an answering machine to screen out the prayers of the venal and the boring? And in which category has he placed you?",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.",
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                        "text": "I do have a huge problem, a huge problem. In fact, worse than watching is hearing. I cannot stand to hear my own voice. When it's coming out of my mouth right now it sounds fantastically interesting to me. It's rich in light and shade, it goes up and down. But when I hear it either on TV or even on someone's answering machine, I just sound like I've had half my brain removed.",
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                        "text": "I think about the automobile, I think about like, when I was a kid, you know, the invention of the answering machine, which I was like, 'Wow.' Or call waiting, which was, like, very big. It was a very big thing. Call waiting was a very big thing. And these incremental innovations happen constantly.",
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                        "text": "“We don’t want the CD; we want the music it plays. We don’t want the disc; we want the storage it holds. We don’t want the answering machine; we want the messages it saves. We don’t want the DVD; we want the movie it carries. In other words, we want not the stuff but the needs or experiences it fulfills. As our possessions “dematerialize” into the intangible, our preconceptions of ownership are changing, creating a dotted line between “what’s mine,” “what’s yours,” and “what’s ours.”",
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                        "text": "Everybody has a ‘gripping stranger’ in their lives, Andy, a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarre hold over you. Maybe it’s the kid in cut-offs who mows your lawn or the woman wearing White Shoulders who stamps your book at the library—a stranger who, if you were to come home and find a message from them on your answering machine saying ‘Drop everything. I love you. Come away with me now to Florida,’ you’d follow them.",
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                        "text": "Fax me a fact and I'll telegram a hologram or telephone the son of man and tell him he is done. Leave a message on his answering machine telling him there are none. God and I are one. Times moon. Times star. Times sun. The factor is me. You remember me.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night,\" \"For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.",
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                        "text": "Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“into our house? (Don’t expect me to know. I was fast asleep.) When I’d finally staggered downstairs on Sunday morning, I’d found three messages from Mary Anne on the answering machine. Message one was a cheerful “Call me when you’re home.” Message two sounded a little concerned. By message three, I could tell she was fighting back tears. Thinking we were kidnapped. Imagining we’d decided to move to Hawaii. (Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea….) Mary”",
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                            "caption": "“into our house? (Don’t expect me to know. I was fast asleep.) When I’d finally staggered downstairs on…” — Ann M. Martin",
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                        "text": "“She stared at me \"You have a message,\" she said. \"On you machine.\" I looked over at my answering machine. Sure enough, the light was blinking. The woman really was a detective. \"It's some girl,\" La Guerta said. \"She sounds kind of sleepy and happy. You got a girlfriend, Dexter?\" there was a strange hint of a challenge in her voice. \"You know how it is,\" I said. \"Women today are so forward, and when you are as handsome as I am they absolutely fling themselves at your head.\" Perhaps an unfortunate choice of words; as I said it I couldn't help thinking of the woman's head flung at me not so long ago. \"Watch out,\" La Guerta said. \"Sooner or later one of them will stick.\" I had no idea what she thought that meant, but it was a very unsettling image. \"I'm sure you're right,\" I said. \"Until then, carpe diem.\" \"What?\" \"It's Latin,\" I said. \"It means, complain in the daylight.”",
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                            "name": "Jeff Lindsay"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "On September 11 one of the messages on our answering machine was from The New Yorker saying get down here right away for a special issue we'll be doing. That seemed so irrelevant to me, considering the cataclysm. I went to my studio for a while and I was processing the news. Because when we were in the thick of it, it just felt like Mars Attacks!, Is Paris Burning?, and I had no perspective. For a while, I thought I should go down and look for bodies. At the same time, since The New Yorker was looking for images, I thought, \"Well, I'm more trained to look for images than for bodies.\"",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Art Spiegelman"
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                        "text": "“A couple months after school started that year, I just plain stopped going to see the Maje. I remember coming home one day and checking the answering machine in my bedroom. The first message was from the Maje. He was waiting for me to come over. He sounded feeble and desperate: \"Steve, where are you? I need you? Are you coming? Please . . .\" I deleted it. The next message was also from the Maje and said pretty much the same thing. Delete. There must have been a dozen messages on that machine from the Maje, all begging me, pleading with me, to come help him. I deleted every single one of them. To this day, I have no idea what happened to the Maje, no idea if he ever got that cataract surgery. That's how our relationship ended. It still makes me feel horrible to think about now: I just deleted the Maje.”",
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                            "name": "Stephen \"Steve-O\" Glover"
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                            "caption": "“A couple months after school started that year, I just plain stopped going to see the Maje. I remember…” — Stephen \"Steve-O\" Glover",
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                        "text": "“Grown-ups aren’t supposed to talk about “best friends,” but he was among my closest and certainly my most constant friend from then until we were well into our thirties, when he inexplicably disappeared on me. I don’t mean he fled the country or changed his identity or got abducted; the last I heard he was still living in Baltimore. He just stopped returning my calls. It took me almost a year of leaving messages on his answering machine to get the hint. It took me much longer to understand that I was never going to know what had happened.”",
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                            "caption": "“Grown-ups aren’t supposed to talk about “best friends,” but he was among my closest and certainly my most…” — Tim Kreider",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“She never opened her mail in the middle of the day. Sometimes she forgot about it for a week or more until people rang to complain. Nor did she check her answering machine messages. In fact, it had only been in the last year that she had finally bought an answering machine, and she steadfastly refused to have a mobile, to the incredulity of all those around her, who didn’t believe that people could actually function without one. But Frieda wanted to be able to escape from incessant communications and demands. She didn’t want to be at anyone’s beck and call, and she liked cutting herself off from the urgent inanities of the world. When she was on her own, she liked to be truly alone. Out of contact and adrift.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Eventually he'd let the answering machine take over and had hidden in his studio. Where he's hidden all his life. From the monster. He could feel itin their bedroom now. He could feel its tail swishing by him. Feel its hot, fetid breath. All his life he knew if he was quiet enough, small enough, it wouldnn't see him. If he didn't make a fuss, didn't speak up, it wouldn't hear him, wouldn't hurt him. If he was beyond criticism and hid his cruelty with a smile and good deeds, it wouldn't devour him. By now he realized there was no hiding. It would always be there, and always find him. He was the monster.”",
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                        "text": "“When I had the third breakdown, the mini-breakdown, I was in the late stages of writing this book. Since I could not cope with communication of any kind during that period, I put an auto-response message on my E-mail that said I was temporarily unreachable, and a similar message on my answering machine. Acquaintances who had suffered depression knew what to make of these outgoing messages. They wasted no time. I had dozens and dozens of calls from people offering whatever they could offer and doing it glowingly. “I will come to stay the minute you call,” wrote Laura Anderson, who also sent a wild profusion of orchids, “and I’ll stay as long as it takes you to get better. If you’d prefer, you are of course always welcome here; if you need to move in for a year, I’ll be here for you. I hope you know that I will always be here for you.” Claudia Weaver wrote with questions: “Is it better for you to have someone check in with you every day or are the messages too much of a burden? If they are a burden, you needn’t answer this one, but whatever you need—just call me, anytime, day or night.” Angel Starkey called often from the pay phone at her hospital to see if I was okay. “I don’t know what you need,” she said, “but I’m worrying about you all the time. Please take care of yourself. Come and see me if you’re feeling really bad, anytime. I’d really like to see you. If you need anything, I’ll try to get it for you. Promise me you won’t hurt yourself.” Frank Rusakoff wrote me a remarkable letter and reminded me about the precious quality of hope. “I long for news that you are well and off on another adventure,” he wrote, and signed the letter, “Your friend, Frank.” I had felt committed in many ways to all these people, but the spontaneous outpouring astounded me. Tina Sonego said she’d call in sick for work if I needed her—or that she’d buy me a ticket and take me to someplace relaxing. “I’m a good cook too,” she told me. Janet Benshoof dropped by the house with daffodils and optimistic lines from favorite poems written in her clear hand and a bag so she could come sleep on my sofa, just so I wouldn’t be alone. It was an astonishing responsiveness.”",
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                        "text": "“Avis puts aside the 'Saint-Honore' and decides to embark on a new pastry. She's assembling ingredients when the phone rings in the next room. She ignores it as she arranges her new mise en place. This recipe is constructed on a foundation of hazelnuts- roasted, then roughed in a towel to help remove skins. These are ground into a gianduja paste with shaved chocolate, which she would normally prepare in her food processor, but today she would rather smash it together by hand, using a meat tenderizer on a chopping block. She pounds away and only stops when she hears something that turns out to be Nina's voice on the answering machine: \"Ven, Avis, you ignoring me? Contesta el telefono! I know you're there. Ay, you know what- you're totally impossible to work for...\" Avis starts pounding again. Her assistants never last more than a year or two before something like this happens. They go stale, she thinks: everything needs to be turned over. Composted. She feels invigorated, punitive and steely as she moves through the steps of the recipe. It was from one of her mother's relatives, perhaps even Avis's grandmother- black bittersweets- a kind of cookie requiring slow melting in a double boiler, then baking, layering, and torching, hours of work simply to result in nine dark squares of chocolate and gianduja tucked within pieces of 'pate sucree.' The chocolate is a hard, intense flavor against the rich hazelnut and the wisps of sweet crust- a startling cookie. Geraldine theorized that the cookie must have been invented to give to enemies: something exquisitely delicious with a tiny yield. The irony, from Avis's professional perspective was that while one might torment enemies with too little, it also exacted an enormous labor for such a small revenge.”",
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                        "text": "“I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other. Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.' This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, 'Nothing. I don't think about it.' Then I ask women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine. Here are some of their answers: Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”",
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                        "text": "“Colby Lane and Pierce Hutton had the manager of Tate’s apartment building open his door for them. They knew that Tate had come back from Tennessee, and that he’d saved Cecily from Gabrini, but nobody had seen him for almost a week. His answering machine was left on permanently. He didn’t answer knocks at the door. It was such odd behavior that his colleague and his boss became actually concerned. They were more concerned when they saw him passed out on the couch in a forest of beer cans and discarded pizza boxes. He hadn’t shaved or, apparently, bathed since his return. “Good God,” Pierce said gruffly. “That’s a familiar sight,” Colby murmured. “He’s turned into me.” Pierce glared at him. “Don’t be insulting.” He moved to the sofa and shook Tate. “Wake up!” he snapped. Tate didn’t open his eyes. He shifted, groaning. “She won’t come back,” he mumbled. “Won’t come. Hates me…” He drifted off again. Pierce and Colby exchanged knowing glances. Without a word, they rolled up their sleeves and set to work, first on the apartment, and then on Tate.”",
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                        "text": "Gotta change my answering machine. Now that I'm alone. Cause right now it says that we, can't come to the phone.",
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                        "text": "“I believe leaders should be questioning machine, rather than an answering machine.”",
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                        "text": "Well, mi get a call from sexy Maxine. She left a message pon mi answering machine she seh Beenie…",
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                        "text": "I'm definitely a child of the 21st century and I prefer texting to phone calls, but I would prefer an answering machine over all.",
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