---
title: "1 Americans Realize Quotes By Bill Maher"
description: "1 Americans Realize quotes by Bill Maher. Plus more from Bill Maher and more Americans Realize sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/bill-maher-211_american-dream_new-rule-americans-must-realize-what-mak_44863.jpg"
---

> [“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poorer one...just like President Obama wants to do with his secret army of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-americans-must-realize-what-makes-nfl-football-so-great/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/bill-maher-211_american-dream_new-rule-americans-must-realize-what-mak_44863.jpg)

## More by Bill Maher

> [A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/a-lot-of-people-say-they-are-dyslexic-some-have-to-realize-that-they/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-saw-this-anti-drug-commercial-that-showed-a-kid-smoking-pot-in-his/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/to-all-conservative-women-out-there-if-you-are-so-sure-the-embryo/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/curious-people-are-intersting-people-i-wonder-why-that-is/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-see-the-difference-is-the-republicans-hatred-of-obama-is-based-on/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [The food is out of this world!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-food-is-out-of-this-world/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-there-is-no-devil-so-stop-blaming-your-screw-ups-on-him-last/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/if-we-were-a-dog-and-god-owned-us-the-cops-would-come-and-take-us-away/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-the-white-house-doesn-t-have-to-release-the-dead-bin-laden/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [I think religion is bad and drugs are good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-think-religion-is-bad-and-drugs-are-good/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-don-t-hate-america-i-love-america-i-want-it-to-be-better-the-only/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-americans-must-realize-what-makes-nfl-football-so-great/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/so-many-kids-are-fat-drug-addicts-these-days-it-s-almost-as-if-rush/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/what-we-don-t-know-is-about-jeb-bush-and-cocaine-but-we-do-know-that/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

> [“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-find-that-the-world-is-changing-much-much-faster-than-i-can-even/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

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                        "text": "“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poorer one...just like President Obama wants to do with his secret army of ACORN volunteers. Green Bay, Wisconsin, has a population of one hundred thousand. Yet this sleepy little town on the banks of the Fuck-if-I-know River has just as much of a chance of making it to the Super Bowl as the New York Jets--who next year need to just shut the hell up and play. Now, me personally, I haven't watched a Super Bowl since 2004, when Janet Jackson's nipple popped out during halftime. and that split-second glimpse of an unrestrained black titty burned by eyes and offended me as a Christian. But I get it--who doesn't love the spectacle of juiced-up millionaires giving one another brain damage on a giant flatscreen TV with a picture so real it feels like Ben Roethlisberger is in your living room, grabbing your sister? It's no surprise that some one hundred million Americans will watch the Super Bowl--that's forty million more than go to church on Christmas--suck on that, Jesus! It's also eighty-five million more than watched the last game of the World Series, and in that is an economic lesson for America. Because football is built on an economic model of fairness and opportunity, and baseball is built on a model where the rich almost always win and the poor usually have no chance. The World Series is like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . You have to be a rich bitch just to play. The Super Bowl is like Tila Tequila. Anyone can get in. Or to put it another way, football is more like the Democratic philosophy. Democrats don't want to eliminate capitalism or competition, but they'd like it if some kids didn't have to go to a crummy school in a rotten neighborhood while others get to go to a great school and their dad gets them into Harvard. Because when that happens, \"achieving the American dream\" is easy for some and just a fantasy for others. That's why the NFL literally shares the wealth--TV is their biggest source of revenue, and they put all of it in a big commie pot and split it thirty-two ways. Because they don't want anyone to fall too far behind. That's why the team that wins the Super Bowl picks last in the next draft. Or what the Republicans would call \"punishing success.\" Baseball, on the other hand, is exactly like the Republicans, and I don't just mean it's incredibly boring. I mean their economic theory is every man for himself. The small-market Pittsburgh Steelers go to the Super Bowl more than anybody--but the Pittsburgh Pirates? Levi Johnston has sperm that will not grow and live long enough to see the Pirates in a World Series. Their payroll is $40 million; the Yankees' is $206 million. The Pirates have about as much chance as getting in the playoffs as a poor black teenager from Newark has of becoming the CEO of Halliburton. So you kind of have to laugh--the same angry white males who hate Obama because he's \"redistributing wealth\" just love football, a sport that succeeds economically because it does just that. To them, the NFL is as American as hot dogs, Chevrolet, apple pie, and a second, giant helping of apple pie.”",
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