--- title: "2 American family Quotes By Christopher Titus" description: "2 American family quotes by Christopher Titus. Plus more from Christopher Titus and more American family sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/christopher-titus-1916_american-family_the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixt_2613067.jpg" --- > [The Los Angeles Times reported that sixty-three percent of American families are now considered dysfunctional. Good. 'Cause that means when Armageddon really happens, thirty-seven percent of this population is going to lose their minds. Oh my God, the world is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixty-three-percent-of-american/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/christopher-titus-1916_american-family_the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixt_2613067.jpg) > [So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los Angeles Times reported that 63% of American families are now considered dysfunctional. My God! That means we're the majority. We're normal!…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndrome-and-disorder-we-ve/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2b/christopher-titus-1916_american-families_so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndro_2811963.jpg) ## Other authors on American family - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/american-family/barack-obama/) ## More by Christopher Titus > [My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-thrives-on-fear-you-know-that-prayer-if-i-should-die-before/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/ladies-if-you-re-at-the-mall-and-you-think-your-man-is-looking-at/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-find-that-americans-are-all-in-the-middle-somewhere-except-for-the/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-a-hard-drinking-man-from-the-70-s-we-actually-have-no/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-i-ve-ever-met-was-destroyed-by-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/psychiatrist-are-like-mind-hookers-give-them-200-dollars-and-they/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/all-of-dad-s-relationships-ended-exactly-the-same-subpoena-beep-of-a/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/texas-is-a-hell-hole-man-dirt-cactus-lizards-dirt-cactus-the-bush/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/sometimes-failure-makes-your-future-because-you-set-the-past-on-fire/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/if-you-re-a-racist-right-now-in-2011-you-just-look-like-a-retard-man/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/why-should-i-learn-english-i-m-never-going-to-england-shah-pffff-ur/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/passion-manners-and-80-ounces-of-beer-will-win-the-heart-of-any-woman/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-most-powerful-person-in-your-life-is-the-one-that-knows-all-your/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/haiti-fell-over-who-built-haiti-two-of-the-three-little-pigs/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/american-family/christopher-titus/#itemlist", "name": "2 American family Quotes By Christopher Titus", "numberOfItems": 2, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Los Angeles Times reported that sixty-three percent of American families are now considered dysfunctional. Good. 'Cause that means when Armageddon really happens, thirty-seven percent of this population is going to lose their minds. Oh my God, the world is over! Us sixty-three percent? We're going to go, Hey... there's no one watching the Lexus dealership! We're going to the Apocalypse with leather and a CD changer! 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