---
title: "Best Alcohol Sayings"
description: "Browse 1,953 Alcohol quotes by 1,306 authors. Discover the best Alcohol sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f4/john-maynard-keynes-1380_alcohol_i-wish-i-d-drunk-more-champagne-1523528_1523528.png"
---

> [I wish I'd drunk more champagne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-maynard-keynes/i-wish-i-d-drunk-more-champagne/)

[John Maynard Keynes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-maynard-keynes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f4/john-maynard-keynes-1380_alcohol_i-wish-i-d-drunk-more-champagne-1523528_1523528.png)

> [Alcohol makes you stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gaspar-noe/alcohol-makes-you-stupid/)

[Gaspar Noe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gaspar-noe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b63/gaspar-noe-2008_alcohol_alcohol-makes-you-stupid-2097760_2097760.jpg)

> [Everybody funny, now you funny too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-thorogood/everybody-funny-now-you-funny-too/)

[George Thorogood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-thorogood/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8d/george-thorogood-10443_alcohol_everybody-funny-now-you-funny-too-311135_3111355.jpg)

> [Cheap booze is a false economy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-hitchens/cheap-booze-is-a-false-economy/)

[Christopher Hitchens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-hitchens/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efd/christopher-hitchens-117_alcohol_cheap-booze-is-a-false-economy-1492349_1492349.jpg)

> [Whoever I had become had to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/whoever-i-had-become-had-to-die/)

[Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8e/craig-ferguson-664_alcohol_whoever-i-had-become-had-to-die-40233_40233.png)

> [I'm only an alcoholic on weekends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambri-bright/i-m-only-an-alcoholic-on-weekends/)

[Ambri Bright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambri-bright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/48b/ambri-bright-25766_alcohol_i-m-only-an-alcoholic-on-weekends-219759_2197598.jpg)

> [Every junkie is like a setting sun.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-young/every-junkie-is-like-a-setting-sun/)

[Neil Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-young/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c95/neil-young-969_alcohol_every-junkie-is-like-a-setting-sun-21507_2150737.jpg)

> [I never drink alcohol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-scolari/i-never-drink-alcohol/)

[Peter Scolari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-scolari/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56e/peter-scolari-17499_alcohol_i-never-drink-alcohol-1989668_1989668.jpg)

> [Beer is not the answer…beer is the question…the answer is yes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/redstripe-team/beer-is-not-the-answer-beer-is-the-question-the-answer-is-yes/)

[Redstripe Team](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/redstripe-team/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad6/redstripe-team-272038_alcohol_beer-is-not-the-answer-beer-is-the-quest_2412914.jpg)

> [Not too big on alcohol, but if I had to chose; I like Ciroc.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markieff-morris/not-too-big-on-alcohol-but-if-i-had-to-chose-i-like-ciroc/)

[Markieff Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markieff-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f76/markieff-morris-13448_alcohol_not-too-big-on-alcohol-but-if-i-had-to-c_669065.jpg)

> [I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-astor/i-would-rather-commit-adultery-than-drink-a-glass-of-beer/)

[Nancy Astor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-astor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/nancy-astor-16977_adultery_i-would-rather-commit-adultery-than-drin_489393.jpg)

> [Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-moulton/why-is-american-beer-served-cold-so-you-can-tell-it-from-urine/)

[Dave Moulton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-moulton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/dave-moulton-230925_alcohol_why-is-american-beer-served-cold-so-you_850055.png)

> [Mom Says Alcohol Is Your Enemy... Jesus Says Love Your Enemy :D](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mom-says-alcohol-is-your-enemy-jesus-says-love-your-enemy-d/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f4/anonymous-1_love_mom-says-alcohol-is-your-enemy-jesus-say_1594066.jpg)

> [I used alcohol for my panic attacks, to manage stressors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-n-lacy/i-used-alcohol-for-my-panic-attacks-to-manage-stressors/)

[Bill N. Lacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-n-lacy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b5/bill-n-lacy-107725_abuse_i-used-alcohol-for-my-panic-attacks-to-m_3147601.png)

> [Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-williams/cocaine-is-god-s-way-of-telling-you-you-are-making-too-much-money/)

[Robin Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fd/robin-williams-682_addict_cocaine-is-god-s-way-of-telling-you-you_2303115.jpg)

> [I was daily intoxicated, yet no man could call me intemperate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/i-was-daily-intoxicated-yet-no-man-could-call-me-intemperate/)

[Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d5/henry-david-thoreau-20_alcohol_i-was-daily-intoxicated-yet-no-man-could_522020.jpg)

> [Alcohol is not a way to forget, is a way to numb old feelings that sooner or later will returnà](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lockedupoet/alcohol-is-not-a-way-to-forget-is-a-way-to-numb-old-feelings-that/)

[Lockedupoet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lockedupoet/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/lockedupoet-28001_alcohol_alcohol-is-not-a-way-to-forget-is-a-way_712654.jpg)

> [“you never know u r drunk until u wake up with a dickhead in the morning.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vish-patil/you-never-know-u-r-drunk-until-u-wake-up-with-a-dickhead-in-the/)

[Vish Patil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vish-patil/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7a/vish-patil-285855_alcohol_you-never-know-u-r-drunk-until-u-wake-up_1111334.jpg)

> [It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-is-better-that-i-drink-this-beer-and-let-their-dreams-come-true/)

[Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/jack-handey-829_alcohol_it-is-better-that-i-drink-this-beer-and_668078.jpg)

> [I also admit, that there are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits which are not good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/i-also-admit-that-there-are-some-sluggish-men-who-are-improved-by/)

[Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/89a/samuel-johnson-50_alcohol_i-also-admit-that-there-are-some-sluggis_1964269.png)

> [The ready availability of suicide, like sex and alcohol, is one of life's basic consolations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-abbey/the-ready-availability-of-suicide-like-sex-and-alcohol-is-one-of-life/)

[Edward Abbey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-abbey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a93/edward-abbey-254_alcohol_the-ready-availability-of-suicide-like-s_1426492.png)

> [What I really love is my scotch. It's the power, the power of positive drinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lou-reed/what-i-really-love-is-my-scotch-it-s-the-power-the-power-of-positive/)

[Lou Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lou-reed/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbc/lou-reed-1654_alcohol_what-i-really-love-is-my-scotch-it-s-the_3141061.png)

> [Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-martin/writer-s-block-is-a-fancy-term-made-up-by-whiners-so-they-can-have-an/)

[Steve Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d09/steve-martin-593_alcohol_writer-s-block-is-a-fancy-term-made-up-b_2242029.jpg)

> [Other people's films are like a cocktail, a little alcohol with water and juice. My films are like pure vodka.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jiang-wen/other-people-s-films-are-like-a-cocktail-a-little-alcohol-with-water/)

[Jiang Wen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jiang-wen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ae/jiang-wen-23000_alcohol_other-people-s-films-are-like-a-cocktail_1250264.jpg)

> [I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-thought-such-awful-thoughts-that-i-cannot-even-say-them-out-loud/)

[Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c21/anne-lamott-188_alcohol_i-thought-such-awful-thoughts-that-i-can_896509.png)

> [There is mounting concern worldwide over the consumption of alcohol. The U.S. government estimates that 10.6 million adults are alcoholics and that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-m-nelson/there-is-mounting-concern-worldwide-over-the-consumption-of-alcohol/)

[Russell M. Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-m-nelson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/172/russell-m-nelson-1457_adults_there-is-mounting-concern-worldwide-over_707001.jpg)

> [People in the business will stay with you through drugs and alcohol and divorces and insanity and everything else, but you have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-johnson/people-in-the-business-will-stay-with-you-through-drugs-and-alcohol/)

[Don Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/612/don-johnson-15567_alcohol_people-in-the-business-will-stay-with-yo_2909237.png)

> [My number one recommendations for part time grapplers is: no alcohol - no smoking - Follow the Gracie diet. The reason I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/royce-gracie/my-number-one-recommendations-for-part-time-grapplers-is-no-alcohol/)

[Royce Gracie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/royce-gracie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24e/royce-gracie-4337_alcohol_my-number-one-recommendations-for-part-t_3180061.jpg)

> [When people ask me about improving their diet, usually the answer is that they eat too much and they drink too much.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-jackson/when-people-ask-me-about-improving-their-diet-usually-the-answer-is/)

[Colin Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-jackson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d1/colin-jackson-5934_alcohol_when-people-ask-me-about-improving-their_2802008.jpg)

> [“The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beatrice-sparks/the-voice-of-every-kid-hooked-on-drugs-alcohol-or-the-occult-joins/)

[Beatrice Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beatrice-sparks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54e/beatrice-sparks-8299_alcohol_the-voice-of-every-kid-hooked-on-drugs-a_2012810.jpg)

> [I remember, in 1999, when we did the last Ozzfest that we were part of, and I think Disturbed was on it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vinnie-paul/i-remember-in-1999-when-we-did-the-last-ozzfest-that-we-were-part-of/)

[Vinnie Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vinnie-paul/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/vinnie-paul-6254_alcohol_i-remember-in-1999-when-we-did-the-last_1445952.jpg)

> [“We do not want to believe that we cannot control alcohol and that alcohol is, in truth, controlling and dictating our lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-hemingway/we-do-not-want-to-believe-that-we-cannot-control-alcohol-and-that/)

[Liz Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-hemingway/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/309/liz-hemingway-83147_alcohol_we-do-not-want-to-believe-that-we-cannot_1129754.jpg)

> [The effects of mescalin or LSD can be, in some respects, far more satisfying than those of alcohol. To begin with, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-wilson/the-effects-of-mescalin-or-lsd-can-be-in-some-respects-far-more/)

[Colin Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/872/colin-wilson-8331_alcohol_the-effects-of-mescalin-or-lsd-can-be-in_1522819.jpg)

> [there is a world, in a far-flung corner of our galaxy, where women have no nipples and motor cars, though legally capable…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trevor-beattie/there-is-a-world-in-a-far-flung-corner-of-our-galaxy-where-women-have/)

[Trevor Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trevor-beattie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af9/trevor-beattie-284302_adults_there-is-a-world-in-a-far-flung-corner-o_2416392.jpg)

> [Despite popular opinion, there are no important parallels between Madonna and Monroe, who was a virtuoso comedienne but who was in secure,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/despite-popular-opinion-there-are-no-important-parallels-between/)

[Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad8/camille-paglia-652_aggressive_despite-popular-opinion-there-are-no-imp_1934961.png)

> [ I think we have lost our way when people like the \[board of\] governors and the CEO of the NYSE fail to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-munger/i-think-we-have-lost-our-way-when-people-like-the-board-of-governors/)

[Charlie Munger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-munger/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bb/charlie-munger-458_alcohol_i-think-we-have-lost-our-way-when-people_2506159.jpg)

> [Everybody knew about the bulimia in the family. And they all blamed the failure of the marriage on the bulimia and it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/princess-diana/everybody-knew-about-the-bulimia-in-the-family-and-they-all-blamed/)

[Princess Diana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/princess-diana/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/721/princess-diana-4342_alcohol_everybody-knew-about-the-bulimia-in-the_1274961.jpg)

> [The hallucinogens produce visionary states, sort of, but morphine and its derivatives decrease awareness of inner processes, thoughts and feelings. They are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-s-burroughs/the-hallucinogens-produce-visionary-states-sort-of-but-morphine-and/)

[William S. Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-s-burroughs/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/william-s-burroughs-528_alcohol_the-hallucinogens-produce-visionary-stat_362644.jpg)

> [I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/i-ll-give-you-a-simple-formula-for-straightening-out-the-problems-of/)

[Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb9/frank-zappa-702_alcohol_i-ll-give-you-a-simple-formula-for-strai_1929055.jpg)

> [Playing 82 games is not hard. The games are easy. It's what you do between games that wears you out.It's all about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mychal-thompson/playing-82-games-is-not-hard-the-games-are-easy-it-s-what-you-do/)

[Mychal Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mychal-thompson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f8/mychal-thompson-61373_alcohol_playing-82-games-is-not-hard-the-games-a_1026724.jpg)

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                        "text": "I also admit, that there are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits which are not good till they are rotten.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The ready availability of suicide, like sex and alcohol, is one of life's basic consolations.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "What I really love is my scotch. It's the power, the power of positive drinking.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Lou Reed"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steve Martin"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Other people's films are like a cocktail, a little alcohol with water and juice. My films are like pure vodka.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jiang Wen"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.",
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                            "name": "Anne Lamott"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "There is mounting concern worldwide over the consumption of alcohol. The U.S. government estimates that 10.6 million adults are alcoholics and that one family in four is troubled by alcohol. It is a factor in half of all the nation's traffic deaths.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "People in the business will stay with you through drugs and alcohol and divorces and insanity and everything else, but you have a failure, pal, and they don't want to know nothing about you!",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Don Johnson"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My number one recommendations for part time grapplers is: no alcohol - no smoking - Follow the Gracie diet. The reason I say that is because smoking and alcohol put a lot of effort on your body. Your lungs. Your liver. Your stomach. These things will make you suffer, man.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When people ask me about improving their diet, usually the answer is that they eat too much and they drink too much. Serving sizes and alcohol intake are two things people can reduce pretty quickly.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Colin Jackson"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Beatrice Sparks"
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                            "caption": "“The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think…” — Beatrice Sparks",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I remember, in 1999, when we did the last Ozzfest that we were part of, and I think Disturbed was on it, Static-X, obviously Ozzy, us, and we were the only band on the tour that had a rider that had any alcohol. Nobody else had it.",
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                            "name": "Vinnie Paul"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“We do not want to believe that we cannot control alcohol and that alcohol is, in truth, controlling and dictating our lives. When you free yourself of a dictator, like alcohol, the freedom that you experience is totally amazing and so empowering. You get your life back.”",
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                            "caption": "“We do not want to believe that we cannot control alcohol and that alcohol is, in truth, controlling and…” — Liz Hemingway",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The effects of mescalin or LSD can be, in some respects, far more satisfying than those of alcohol. To begin with, they last longer; they also leave behind no hangover, and leave the mental faculties clear and unimpaired. They stimulate the faculties and produce the ideal ground for a peak experience.",
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                            "caption": "“The effects of mescalin or LSD can be, in some respects, far more satisfying than those of alcohol. To begin…” — Colin Wilson",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "there is a world, in a far-flung corner of our galaxy, where women have no nipples and motor cars, though legally capable of 70 mph never trundle a smidgen over thirty. A world where alcohol never makes people drunk and is only ever consumed in moderation by responsible adults who appear to be at least 25 years old!",
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                            "name": "Trevor Beattie"
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                            "caption": "“there is a world, in a far-flung corner of our galaxy, where women have no nipples and motor cars, though…” — Trevor Beattie",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Despite popular opinion, there are no important parallels between Madonna and Monroe, who was a virtuoso comedienne but who was in secure, depressive, passive-aggressive, and infuriatingly obstructionist in her career habits. Madonna is manic, perfectionist, workaholic. Monroe abused alcohol and drugs, while Madonna shuns them. Monroe had a tentative, melting, dreamy solipsism; Madonna has Judy Holliday's wisecracking smart mouth and Joan Crawford's steel will and bossy, circus master managerial competence.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Camille Paglia"
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                        "text": "I think we have lost our way when people like the [board of] governors and the CEO of the NYSE fail to realize they have a duty to the rest of us to act as exemplars... You do not want your first-grade school teacher to be fornicating on the floor or drinking booze in the classroom; similarly you do not want your stock exchange to be setting the wrong moral example.",
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                        "text": "Everybody knew about the bulimia in the family. And they all blamed the failure of the marriage on the bulimia and it's taken them time to think differently. I said I was rejected, I didn't think I was good enough for this family, so I took it out on myself. I could have gone to alcohol. I could have been anorexic. I chose to hurt myself instead of hurting all of you.",
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                        "text": "The hallucinogens produce visionary states, sort of, but morphine and its derivatives decrease awareness of inner processes, thoughts and feelings. They are pain killers; pure and simple. They are absolutely contraindicated for creative work, and I include in the lot alcohol, morphine, barbiturates, tranquilizers the whole spectrum of sedative drugs.",
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                        "text": "I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take the tax off of capital gains and the tax off of savings. You decriminalize all  and tax them same way as you do alcohol. You decriminalize . You make gambling legal. That will put the budget back on the road to recovery, and you'll have plenty of tax revenue coming in for all of your social programs, and to run the army.",
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                        "text": "Playing 82 games is not hard. The games are easy. It's what you do between games that wears you out.It's all about maintaining your body, maintaining your fitness and you do that by eating properly, watching your alcohol intake - I know I sound like an old-fashioned guy - but you do that by going home between games and getting your rest, taking care of your body, making sure you're getting the proper rest, the proper nutrition.",
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