---
title: "Famous Alcohol Quotations"
description: "Browse 1,953 Alcohol quotes by 1,306 authors. Discover the best Alcohol sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd5/anonymous-1_alcohol_it-s-funny-how-alcohol-can-make-the-clot_1271140.jpg"
---

> [It's funny how alcohol can make the clothes come off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-s-funny-how-alcohol-can-make-the-clothes-come-off/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd5/anonymous-1_alcohol_it-s-funny-how-alcohol-can-make-the-clot_1271140.jpg)

> [The mind of a drunken fool is a useless tool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ll-cool-j/the-mind-of-a-drunken-fool-is-a-useless-tool/)

[LL Cool J](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ll-cool-j/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/ll-cool-j-2389_alcohol_the-mind-of-a-drunken-fool-is-a-useless_1216265.png)

> [If life throws you lemons,bring out the TEQUILA!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/punkinhead-abhishek/if-life-throws-you-lemons-bring-out-the-tequila/)

[Punkinhead Abhishek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/punkinhead-abhishek/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c97/punkinhead-abhishek-707_alcohol_if-life-throws-you-lemons-bring-out-the_1793467.jpg)

> [“I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-don-t-like-to-overdose-call-me-old-fashioned/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/708/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_i-don-t-like-to-overdose-call-me-old-fas_3207778.png)

> [Stick a needle in your arm, you bite the dust, you buy the farm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-cooper/stick-a-needle-in-your-arm-you-bite-the-dust-you-buy-the-farm/)

[Alice Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-cooper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/alice-cooper-2435_alcohol_stick-a-needle-in-your-arm-you-bite-the_2758308.png)

> [I'm the definition of half man, half drugs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/puff-daddy/i-m-the-definition-of-half-man-half-drugs/)

[Puff Daddy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/puff-daddy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd3/puff-daddy-15000_alcohol_i-m-the-definition-of-half-man-half-drug_142096.png)

> [ I don't think \[pot\] is more dangerous than alcohol. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/i-don-t-think-pot-is-more-dangerous-than-alcohol/)

[Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16b/barack-obama-17_alcohol_i-don-t-think-pot-is-more-dangerous-than_244104.jpg)

> [Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/alcoholism-is-the-only-disease-that-you-can-get-yelled-at-for-having/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/782/mitch-hedberg-695_alcohol_alcoholism-is-the-only-disease-that-you_2023160.png)

> [To a drinker the sensation is real and pure and akin to something spiritual: you seek; in the bottle, you find.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-knapp/to-a-drinker-the-sensation-is-real-and-pure-and-akin-to-something/)

[Caroline Knapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-knapp/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/901/caroline-knapp-7652_alcohol_to-a-drinker-the-sensation-is-real-and-p_1923688.jpg)

> [Drinking alcohol will reduce your pain or not, I can not sure! But of course will lower your honor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mak-786/drinking-alcohol-will-reduce-your-pain-or-not-i-can-not-sure-but-of/)

Mak\_786

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a86/mak-786-30_drinking-alcohol_drinking-alcohol-will-reduce-your-pain-o_2071301.jpg)

> [Sometimes I wish that I was a bong hit, you'd let me in and you would love every minute.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mayer/sometimes-i-wish-that-i-was-a-bong-hit-you-d-let-me-in-and-you-would/)

[John Mayer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mayer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/john-mayer-1620_alcohol_sometimes-i-wish-that-i-was-a-bong-hit-y_664983.jpg)

> [He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/he-s-so-full-of-alcohol-if-you-put-a-lighted-wick-in-his-mouth-he-d/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbc/groucho-marx-788_alcohol_he-s-so-full-of-alcohol-if-you-put-a-lig_2834390.jpg)

> [Pleasure which must be enjoyed at the expense of another's pain, can never be enjoyed by a worthy mind. Pleasure's couch is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/pleasure-which-must-be-enjoyed-at-the-expense-of-another-s-pain-can/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18c/anonymous-1_alcohol_pleasure-which-must-be-enjoyed-at-the-ex_714441.jpg)

> [Jack Kerouac, like a sick refrigerator, worked too hard at keeping cool and died on his mama's lap from alcohol and infantilism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-abbey/jack-kerouac-like-a-sick-refrigerator-worked-too-hard-at-keeping-cool/)

[Edward Abbey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-abbey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/edward-abbey-254_alcohol_jack-kerouac-like-a-sick-refrigerator-wo_1070869.png)

> [Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/alcohol-taken-in-sufficient-quantities-may-produce-all-the-effects-of/)

[Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d6/oscar-wilde-16_alcohol_alcohol-taken-in-sufficient-quantities-m_1690651.jpg)

> [I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/i-like-to-have-a-martini-two-at-the-very-most-after-three-i-m-under/)

[Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/450/dorothy-parker-700_alcohol_i-like-to-have-a-martini-two-at-the-very_2831070.jpg)

> [Switch clicking off in my head, turning the hot light off and the cool night on and — \[He looks up, smiling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tennessee-williams/switch-clicking-off-in-my-head-turning-the-hot-light-off-and-the-cool/)

[Tennessee Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tennessee-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f1/tennessee-williams-745_alcohol_switch-clicking-off-in-my-head-turning-t_976461.png)

> [No one will deny that the excessive use of alcohol and alcoholic beverages would do more than any other single factor to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/no-one-will-deny-that-the-excessive-use-of-alcohol-and-alcoholic/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae3/anonymous-1_alcohol_no-one-will-deny-that-the-excessive-use_991382.jpg)

> [Just as the process of repealing national alcohol prohibition began with individual states repealing their own prohibition laws, so individual states must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-soros/just-as-the-process-of-repealing-national-alcohol-prohibition-began/)

[George Soros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-soros/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/886/george-soros-1593_alcohol_just-as-the-process-of-repealing-nationa_1133457.jpg)

> [Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/russia-has-banned-all-adoptions-to-americans-so-if-you-were-hoping-to/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43a/bill-maher-211_adoption_russia-has-banned-all-adoptions-to-ameri_586861.png)

> [It is critical that parents and other trusted adults initiate conversations with kids about underage drinking well in advance of the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/xavier-becerra/it-is-critical-that-parents-and-other-trusted-adults-initiate/)

[Xavier Becerra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/xavier-becerra/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/xavier-becerra-25040_adults_it-is-critical-that-parents-and-other-tr_1520077.jpg)

> [Alcohol leaves you BREATHLESS. Drugs leave you SENSELESS. Evil leaves you HEARTLESS. Death leaves you LIFELESS. But God won't leave you...REGARDLESS !!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/alcohol-leaves-you-breathless-drugs-leave-you-senseless-evil-leaves/)

[Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d54/nishan-panwar-14_alcohol_alcohol-leaves-you-breathless-drugs-leav_2962435.jpg)

> [ Their \[Phoenix\] audience wasn't into us at all. The way most of the venues worked was there was no alcohol on the… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mac-demarco/their-phoenix-audience-wasn-t-into-us-at-all-the-way-most-of-the/)

[Mac DeMarco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mac-demarco/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/223/mac-demarco-7654_alcohol_their-phoenix-audience-wasn-t-into-us-at_1943812.jpg)

> [“Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/criss-jami/drinking-is-such-a-necessity-to-human-life-that-people-cannot-fathom/)

[Criss Jami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/criss-jami/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28b/criss-jami-320_addiction_drinking-is-such-a-necessity-to-human-li_1838899.jpg)

> [For many years, I was a really heavy drinker, but people don't know about that because I'm by myself all the time.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fiona-apple/for-many-years-i-was-a-really-heavy-drinker-but-people-don-t-know/)

[Fiona Apple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fiona-apple/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b9/fiona-apple-1912_alcohol_for-many-years-i-was-a-really-heavy-drin_3036578.png)

> [“I know only, like, five Indians in our whole tribe who have never drunk alcohol. And my grandmother was one of them.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherman-alexie/i-know-only-like-five-indians-in-our-whole-tribe-who-have-never-drunk/)

[Sherman Alexie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherman-alexie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b20/sherman-alexie-444_alcohol_i-know-only-like-five-indians-in-our-who_1063316.png)

> [When I see a serious problem, I try to figure out, my way, how to solve it, how to fix it. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-childers/when-i-see-a-serious-problem-i-try-to-figure-out-my-way-how-to-solve/)

[Sam Childers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-childers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff7/sam-childers-24455_alcohol_when-i-see-a-serious-problem-i-try-to-fi_2842663.jpg)

> [Hangovers are a vivid form of vengeance. Last night my apartment became the venue for a small, introverted chardonnay festival. A melancholy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-jensen/hangovers-are-a-vivid-form-of-vengeance-last-night-my-apartment/)

[Liz Jensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-jensen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4f/liz-jensen-48113_alcohol_hangovers-are-a-vivid-form-of-vengeance_701502.jpg)

> [We think of cannabis as a drug, in accordance with international opinions. This means that even consuming small amounts can lead to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-merkel/we-think-of-cannabis-as-a-drug-in-accordance-with-international/)

[Angela Merkel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-merkel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/512/angela-merkel-2231_alcohol_we-think-of-cannabis-as-a-drug-in-accord_2005319.png)

> [Boys are very basic. If we get food, alcohol, and maybe cigarettes and occasionally some sex, we're pretty cool. We're pretty chilled.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johan-philip-asbaek/boys-are-very-basic-if-we-get-food-alcohol-and-maybe-cigarettes-and/)

Johan Philip Asbaek

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/johan-philip-asbaek-69905_alcohol_boys-are-very-basic-if-we-get-food-alcoh_863747.jpg)

> [If I had to choose between putting a saloon or a liberal church on a corner, I'd choose the saloon every time.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-adams/if-i-had-to-choose-between-putting-a-saloon-or-a-liberal-church-on-a/)

[Jay Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-adams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/870/jay-adams-45155_alcohol_if-i-had-to-choose-between-putting-a-sal_2024035.png)

> [In our childhoods we either get all the social and emotional and ethical skills we need to be well adjusted adults, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bucky-sinister/in-our-childhoods-we-either-get-all-the-social-and-emotional-and/)

[Bucky Sinister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bucky-sinister/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/29c/bucky-sinister-30560_adults_in-our-childhoods-we-either-get-all-the_539198.jpg)

> [You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/you-can-t-be-a-real-country-unless-you-have-a-beer/)

[Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13d/frank-zappa-702_airline_you-can-t-be-a-real-country-unless-you-h_1076575.jpg)

> [Alcohol kills slowly. Good, I'm in no hurry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/coluche/alcohol-kills-slowly-good-i-m-in-no-hurry/)

[Coluche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/coluche/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c92/coluche-47804_alcohol_alcohol-kills-slowly-good-i-m-in-no-hurr_2193741.jpg)

> [Mom says 'Alcohol is your enemy'... Jesus says 'Love your enemy.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mom-says-alcohol-is-your-enemy-jesus-says-love-your-enemy/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f0/anonymous-1_alcohol_mom-says-alcohol-is-your-enemy-jesus-say_2825708.jpg)

> [To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/homer-simpson/to-alcohol-the-cause-of-and-solution-too-all-of-lifes-problems/)

[Homer Simpson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/homer-simpson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/166/homer-simpson-13875_alcohol_to-alcohol-the-cause-of-and-solution-too_2638173.jpg)

> [Alcohol in families is often kept secret. There's a sense of shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geraldine-james/alcohol-in-families-is-often-kept-secret-there-s-a-sense-of-shame/)

[Geraldine James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geraldine-james/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/936/geraldine-james-8281_alcohol_alcohol-in-families-is-often-kept-secret_3181939.png)

> [Alcohol, contrary to instinct, is not the secret to happiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-schmich/alcohol-contrary-to-instinct-is-not-the-secret-to-happiness/)

[Mary Schmich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-schmich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fa/mary-schmich-10979_alcohol_alcohol-contrary-to-instinct-is-not-the_2830766.png)

> [Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-f-simpson/reality-is-an-illusion-created-by-a-lack-of-alcohol/)

[N. F. Simpson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-f-simpson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b87/n-f-simpson-60274_alcohol_reality-is-an-illusion-created-by-a-lack_1457111.png)

> [Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/criss-jami/drunken-men-give-some-of-the-best-pep-talks/)

[Criss Jami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/criss-jami/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3bb/criss-jami-320_alcohol_drunken-men-give-some-of-the-best-pep-ta_1603982.jpg)

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                        "text": "Pleasure which must be enjoyed at the expense of another's pain, can never be enjoyed by a worthy mind. Pleasure's couch is virtues grave.",
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                        "text": "Jack Kerouac, like a sick refrigerator, worked too hard at keeping cool and died on his mama's lap from alcohol and infantilism.",
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                        "text": "Just as the process of repealing national alcohol prohibition began with individual states repealing their own prohibition laws, so individual states must now take the initiative with respect to repealing marijuana prohibition laws.",
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                            "name": "George Soros"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.",
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                            "name": "Bill Maher"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "It is critical that parents and other trusted adults initiate conversations with kids about underage drinking well in advance of the first time they are faced with a decision regarding alcohol.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Xavier Becerra"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Alcohol leaves you BREATHLESS. Drugs leave you SENSELESS. Evil leaves you HEARTLESS. Death leaves you LIFELESS. But God won't leave you...REGARDLESS !!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Their [Phoenix] audience wasn't into us at all. The way most of the venues worked was there was no alcohol on the floor so usually during our set most people were in the lobby getting their drink on.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Mac DeMarco"
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                            "caption": "“Their [Phoenix] audience wasn't into us at all. The way most of the venues worked was there was no alcohol…” — Mac DeMarco",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church pew, gets little enjoyment out of it and would rather do other things.”",
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                            "name": "Criss Jami"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "For many years, I was a really heavy drinker, but people don't know about that because I'm by myself all the time. Recently, I didn't drink for eight or nine months, and I learned that alcohol was quadrupling the embarrassing moments - those moments when you're drunk and you say something you remember the next morning and feel embarrassed about.",
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                            "name": "Fiona Apple"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I know only, like, five Indians in our whole tribe who have never drunk alcohol. And my grandmother was one of them. \"Drinking would shut down my seeing and my hearing and my feeling,\" she used to say. \"Why would I want to be in the world if I couldn't touch the world with all of my senses intact?\" (158)”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Sherman Alexie"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When I see a serious problem, I try to figure out, my way, how to solve it, how to fix it. When I'm back here in the U.S., I'm speaking, raising funds, and everything for what I do overseas, but at the same time, I speak in schools, colleges, on drugs and alcohol. I come back here and I go into a different fight. But really, it's all related.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Sam Childers"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-childers/when-i-see-a-serious-problem-i-try-to-figure-out-my-way-how-to-solve/",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Hangovers are a vivid form of vengeance. Last night my apartment became the venue for a small, introverted chardonnay festival. A melancholy choir of Bulgarians provided the entertainment, via a set of headphones that ended up irredeemably tangled beneath the bed. Part of me just watched. The other part was in charge.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Liz Jensen"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "We think of cannabis as a drug, in accordance with international opinions. This means that even consuming small amounts can lead to very severe dependence. With alcohol or cigarettes however, sensibly limited consumption does not bear the risk of immediate addictiveness as this is the case with cannabis according to our opinion. With alcohol there surely is an element of a tradition. However, enjoyed in moderation, as supplement to a meal for example, alcohol is not something that causes immediate dependence. Still, there is a great need for prevention and information in this matter.",
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                            "name": "Angela Merkel"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Boys are very basic. If we get food, alcohol, and maybe cigarettes and occasionally some sex, we're pretty cool. We're pretty chilled. What you see is what you get. It's not so many layers. Women are a little bit more complicated, which is why we keep falling in love with you all again and again and again and again.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Johan Philip Asbaek"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If I had to choose between putting a saloon or a liberal church on a corner, I'd choose the saloon every time. People who drink up the pay check in the saloon are less likely to become Pharisees, thinking that they don't need the Great Physician, than those who weekly swill the soporific doctrine of man's goodness.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jay Adams"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In our childhoods we either get all the social and emotional and ethical skills we need to be well adjusted adults, or we don't. Some of us don't know how to tell someone we like them. A lot of us get depressed and get wasted. Why don't we do something that makes us feel better? Because we don't know any other way. When I didn't have enough skills I compensated with drugs and alcohol. It's like there was a hole in the wall and I put a poster over it.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bucky Sinister"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Frank Zappa"
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Alcohol kills slowly. Good, I'm in no hurry.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Coluche"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/coluche/alcohol-kills-slowly-good-i-m-in-no-hurry/",
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