---
title: "Best Alcohol Qoutes"
description: "Browse 1,953 Alcohol quotes by 1,306 authors. Discover the best Alcohol sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9f/kreyzii-26286_alcohol_too-much-alcohol-makes-my-world-go-round_2962558.jpg"
---

> [Too much alcohol makes my world go round :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kreyzii/too-much-alcohol-makes-my-world-go-round/)

[Kreyzii](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kreyzii/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9f/kreyzii-26286_alcohol_too-much-alcohol-makes-my-world-go-round_2962558.jpg)

> [I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-carrey/i-m-very-serious-about-no-alcohol-no-drugs-life-is-too-beautiful/)

[Jim Carrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-carrey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec0/jim-carrey-1172_alcohol_i-m-very-serious-about-no-alcohol-no-dru_1957097.jpg)

> [I hate the taste of alcohol. When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paris-hilton/i-hate-the-taste-of-alcohol-when-i-m-drinking-i-m-drinking-red-bull/)

[Paris Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paris-hilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/paris-hilton-1993_alcohol_i-hate-the-taste-of-alcohol-when-i-m-dri_1566910.jpg)

> [A third wheel is anyone who gets between me and my alcohol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-third-wheel-is-anyone-who-gets-between-me-and-my-alcohol/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/431/anonymous-1_quote_a-third-wheel-is-anyone-who-gets-between_1035738.jpg)

> [Alcohol is the cause of all my problems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jayson-williams/alcohol-is-the-cause-of-all-my-problems/)

[Jayson Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jayson-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5e/jayson-williams-28090_alcohol_alcohol-is-the-cause-of-all-my-problems_2924443.png)

> [“1. Life is not an alcohol deficiency.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-pursche/1-life-is-not-an-alcohol-deficiency/)

[Joe Pursche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-pursche/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f5/joe-pursche-248685_alcohol_1-life-is-not-an-alcohol-deficiency-2399_2399999.jpg)

> [“Wine gives one 'ideas,' whereas champagne gives one 'strategies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roman-payne/wine-gives-one-ideas-whereas-champagne-gives-one-strategies/)

[Roman Payne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roman-payne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/891/roman-payne-1959_alcohol_wine-gives-one-ideas-whereas-champagne-g_1423988.jpg)

> [Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/nothing-uses-up-alcohol-faster-than-political-argument/)

[Robert A. Heinlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-heinlein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17b/robert-a-heinlein-209_alcohol_nothing-uses-up-alcohol-faster-than-poli_1411448.jpg)

> [“Prosperity and democracy does seem to be a good way to wean a population off massive alcohol abuse.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-bullough/prosperity-and-democracy-does-seem-to-be-a-good-way-to-wean-a/)

[Oliver Bullough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-bullough/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/608/oliver-bullough-45178_alcohol-abuse_prosperity-and-democracy-does-seem-to-be_904170.jpg)

> [Cholesterol to go with alcohol; all the bad things in English-speaking life end in -ol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/padgett-powell/cholesterol-to-go-with-alcohol-all-the-bad-things-in-english-speaking/)

[Padgett Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/padgett-powell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1e/padgett-powell-14196_alcohol_cholesterol-to-go-with-alcohol-all-the-b_785700.png)

> [I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brendan-behan/i-only-take-a-drink-on-two-occasions-when-i-m-thirsty-and-when-i-m-not/)

[Brendan Behan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brendan-behan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/brendan-behan-8832_alcohol_i-only-take-a-drink-on-two-occasions-whe_2380554.png)

> [May I suggest a drinking game where everytime I do a ridiculously long awkward blink, someone does a shot of some kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-patrick-harris/may-i-suggest-a-drinking-game-where-everytime-i-do-a-ridiculously/)

[Neil Patrick Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-patrick-harris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/515/neil-patrick-harris-2281_alcohol_may-i-suggest-a-drinking-game-where-ever_2583563.png)

> [She had not character enough to take to drinking, and moaned about, slip-shod and in curl-papers, all day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-makepeace-thackeray/she-had-not-character-enough-to-take-to-drinking-and-moaned-about/)

[William Makepeace Thackeray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-makepeace-thackeray/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1be/william-makepeace-thackeray-74_alcohol_she-had-not-character-enough-to-take-to_3086135.jpg)

> [The man that isn't jolly after drinking is just a drivelling idiot, to my thinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/euripides/the-man-that-isn-t-jolly-after-drinking-is-just-a-drivelling-idiot-to/)

[Euripides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/euripides/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcb/euripides-472_alcohol_the-man-that-isn-t-jolly-after-drinking_430130.png)

> [I got a generation brainwashed to pop pills and smoke pot til they brains rot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eminem/i-got-a-generation-brainwashed-to-pop-pills-and-smoke-pot-til-they/)

[Eminem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eminem/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e1/eminem-415_alcohol_i-got-a-generation-brainwashed-to-pop-pi_2780549.jpg)

> [“I get that. For you, it’s more than following a bunch of rules—no sex, no booze, no swear words, pray every night…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-anderson-kurk/i-get-that-for-you-it-s-more-than-following-a-bunch-of-rules-no-sex/)

[Laura Anderson Kurk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-anderson-kurk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/laura-anderson-kurk-7699_alcohol_i-get-that-for-you-it-s-more-than-follow_939165.jpg)

> [I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-madigan/i-always-give-homeless-people-money-and-my-friends-yell-at-me-he-s/)

[Kathleen Madigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-madigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac9/kathleen-madigan-42250_alcohol_i-always-give-homeless-people-money-and_2510400.jpg)

> [I think if you're doing alcohol and drugs, the chances of you surviving this kind of a pace are next to nothing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-brooks/i-think-if-you-re-doing-alcohol-and-drugs-the-chances-of-you/)

[Meredith Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-brooks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d0/meredith-brooks-11639_alcohol_i-think-if-you-re-doing-alcohol-and-drug_636094.jpg)

> [A leader, once convinced a particular course of action is the right one, must have the determination to stick with it and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/a-leader-once-convinced-a-particular-course-of-action-is-the-right/)

[Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e43/ronald-reagan-119_alcohol_a-leader-once-convinced-a-particular-cou_1029316.jpg)

> [Gazing at the typewriter in moments of desperation I console myself with three thoughts. Alcohol at six, dinner at eight, and to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gyles-brandreth/gazing-at-the-typewriter-in-moments-of-desperation-i-console-myself/)

[Gyles Brandreth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gyles-brandreth/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b59/gyles-brandreth-4172_alcohol_gazing-at-the-typewriter-in-moments-of-d_1159282.png)

> [“In the eleventh century obese English king William the Conqueror took to bed and consumed nothing but alcohol to shed pounds, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sax/in-the-eleventh-century-obese-english-king-william-the-conqueror-took/)

[David Sax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sax/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39b/david-sax-70736_alcohol_in-the-eleventh-century-obese-english-ki_477606.jpg)

> [Men do not knowingly drink for the effect alcohol produces on the body. What they drink for is the brain-effect; and if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-london/men-do-not-knowingly-drink-for-the-effect-alcohol-produces-on-the/)

[Jack London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-london/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/jack-london-595_alcohol_men-do-not-knowingly-drink-for-the-effec_824648.jpg)

> [There was an Old Man with an owl, Who continued to bother and howl; He sate on a rail, and imbibed bitter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-lear/there-was-an-old-man-with-an-owl-who-continued-to-bother-and-howl-he/)

[Edward Lear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-lear/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e0/edward-lear-14704_alcohol_there-was-an-old-man-with-an-owl-who-con_2096551.png)

> [I don't smoke marijuana anymore. I don't drink. Marijuana is a handicap. So is alcohol. Alcohol is a terrible handicap. But in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-johnson/i-don-t-smoke-marijuana-anymore-i-don-t-drink-marijuana-is-a-handicap/)

[Gary Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4e/gary-johnson-3710_alcohol_i-don-t-smoke-marijuana-anymore-i-don-t_1825720.png)

> [Only someone as puffed up and demented as John Maynard Keynes, every left wing fascist's sainted mentor in this connection, could manage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-neil-smith/only-someone-as-puffed-up-and-demented-as-john-maynard-keynes-every/)

[L. Neil Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-neil-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bb/l-neil-smith-3636_alcohol_only-someone-as-puffed-up-and-demented-a_2169850.png)

> [I was always going to church with my mom, dad and sister. I was literally raised under the godly influence both at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-bowden/i-was-always-going-to-church-with-my-mom-dad-and-sister-i-was/)

[Bobby Bowden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-bowden/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f91/bobby-bowden-13983_alcohol_i-was-always-going-to-church-with-my-mom_327143.jpg)

> [“I mean, that's at least in part why I ingested chemical waste - it was a kind of desire to abbreviate myself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-fisher/i-mean-that-s-at-least-in-part-why-i-ingested-chemical-waste-it-was-a/)

[Carrie Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-fisher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/carrie-fisher-927_alcohol_i-mean-that-s-at-least-in-part-why-i-ing_3028290.jpg)

> [The rural Chinese in Henan Province mixed alcohol and business like you wouldn’t believe. Perhaps as a result, they also had a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-polly/the-rural-chinese-in-henan-province-mixed-alcohol-and-business-like/)

[Matthew Polly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-polly/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/402/matthew-polly-35682_alcohol_the-rural-chinese-in-henan-province-mixe_2160568.jpg)

> [Doctors are taught in medical school that people ususally underreport their alcohol and drug use, so we genreal double the amount we're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-ofri/doctors-are-taught-in-medical-school-that-people-ususally-underreport/)

[Danielle Ofri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-ofri/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad8/danielle-ofri-26196_alcohol_doctors-are-taught-in-medical-school-tha_1904710.jpg)

> [I want a drink. I want fifty drinks. I want a bottle of the purest, strongest, most destructive, most poisonous alcohol on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-frey/i-want-a-drink-i-want-fifty-drinks-i-want-a-bottle-of-the-purest/)

[James Frey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-frey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33c/james-frey-1108_acid_i-want-a-drink-i-want-fifty-drinks-i-wan_2551540.png)

> [Orientation in time, space, and status are the essentials of social existence, and the Balinese, although they make very strong spirits for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-mead/orientation-in-time-space-and-status-are-the-essentials-of-social/)

[Margaret Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-mead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d97/margaret-mead-982_alcohol_orientation-in-time-space-and-status-are_2441945.jpg)

> [Accordingly if the devil should say, 'Do not drink,' you should reply to him, 'On this very account, because you forbid it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther/accordingly-if-the-devil-should-say-do-not-drink-you-should-reply-to/)

[Martin Luther](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/martin-luther-106_accounts_accordingly-if-the-devil-should-say-do-n_146251.jpg)

> [“If you want to keep your dignity intact, stay away from tequila.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alida-nugent/if-you-want-to-keep-your-dignity-intact-stay-away-from-tequila/)

[Alida Nugent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alida-nugent/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/107/alida-nugent-44178_alcohol_if-you-want-to-keep-your-dignity-intact_660785.jpg)

> [Don't trust people who don't laugh. I don't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/don-t-trust-people-who-don-t-laugh-i-don-t/)

[Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce7/maya-angelou-104_alcohol_don-t-trust-people-who-don-t-laugh-i-don_1912747.png)

> [A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/austin-o-malley/a-drunkard-is-like-a-whiskey-bottle-all-neck-and-belly-and-no-head/)

[Austin O'Malley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/austin-o-malley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ba/austin-o-malley-1805_alcohol_a-drunkard-is-like-a-whiskey-bottle-all_137182.jpg)

> [Alcohol carries the pleasures of the palate to their highest degree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/alcohol-carries-the-pleasures-of-the-palate-to-their-highest-degree/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a2/anonymous-1_alcohol_alcohol-carries-the-pleasures-of-the-pal_1843053.jpg)

> [When the wine is in, the wit is out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-becon/when-the-wine-is-in-the-wit-is-out/)

[Thomas Becon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-becon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/thomas-becon-282861_alcohol_when-the-wine-is-in-the-wit-is-out-30025_3002547.jpg)

> [I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-mencken/i-drink-exactly-as-much-as-i-want-and-one-drink-more/)

[H. L. Mencken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-l-mencken/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54e/h-l-mencken-245_alcohol_i-drink-exactly-as-much-as-i-want-and-on_1832633.png)

> [It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-papa/it-was-an-arranged-marriage-put-together-by-drugs-and-alcohol/)

[Tom Papa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-papa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72b/tom-papa-85505_alcohol_it-was-an-arranged-marriage-put-together_761704.jpg)

> [As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-mencken/as-long-as-you-represent-me-as-praising-alcohol-i-shall-not-complain-2/)

[H. L. Mencken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-l-mencken/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/097/h-l-mencken-245_alcohol_as-long-as-you-represent-me-as-praising_3015593.png)

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                        "text": "“Prosperity and democracy does seem to be a good way to wean a population off massive alcohol abuse.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Cholesterol to go with alcohol; all the bad things in English-speaking life end in -ol.",
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                        "text": "I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.",
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                        "text": "May I suggest a drinking game where everytime I do a ridiculously long awkward blink, someone does a shot of some kind of alcohol?",
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                        "text": "She had not character enough to take to drinking, and moaned about, slip-shod and in curl-papers, all day.",
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                        "text": "I got a generation brainwashed to pop pills and smoke pot til they brains rot.",
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                        "text": "“I get that. For you, it’s more than following a bunch of rules—no sex, no booze, no swear words, pray every night and twice on Sunday.”",
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                        "text": "I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I wasn't?'",
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                        "text": "I think if you're doing alcohol and drugs, the chances of you surviving this kind of a pace are next to nothing. I live an extremely healthy life.",
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                        "text": "Gazing at the typewriter in moments of desperation I console myself with three thoughts. Alcohol at six, dinner at eight, and to be immortal you've got to be dead.",
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                        "text": "“In the eleventh century obese English king William the Conqueror took to bed and consumed nothing but alcohol to shed pounds, a practice many of his countrymen seem to continue to this day.”",
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                        "text": "Men do not knowingly drink for the effect alcohol produces on the body. What they drink for is the brain-effect; and if it must come through the body, so much the worse for the body.",
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                        "text": "There was an Old Man with an owl, Who continued to bother and howl; He sate on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale, Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl.",
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                        "text": "I don't smoke marijuana anymore. I don't drink. Marijuana is a handicap. So is alcohol. Alcohol is a terrible handicap. But in spite of being a handicap, it shouldn't be criminal.",
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                        "text": "Only someone as puffed up and demented as John Maynard Keynes, every left wing fascist's sainted mentor in this connection, could manage to convince himself that taxing America's Productive Class can restore it to prosperity. In point of fact, it's like screwing for chastity, guzzling alcohol for sobriety, or gorging to fight gluttony. It's like killing indiscriminately for peace - oops, Democrats, Republicans and their moral and spiritual ilk have devoutly believed that particular bit of perverse nonsense since at least the War of 1812.",
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                        "text": "I was always going to church with my mom, dad and sister. I was literally raised under the godly influence both at home and church. There was no alcohol and no smoking at our house. That was the way a Bowden was supposed to live. My dad always told me to represent the Bowden name in a respectful manner.",
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                        "text": "“I mean, that's at least in part why I ingested chemical waste - it was a kind of desire to abbreviate myself. To present the CliffNotes of the emotional me, as opposed to the twelve-column read. I used to refer to my drug use as putting the monster in the box. I wanted to be less, so I took more - simple as that. Anyway, I eventually decided that the reason Dr. Stone had told me I was hypomanic was that he wanted to put me on medication instead of actually treating me. So I did the only rational thing I could do in the face of such as insult - I stopped talking to Stone, flew back to New York, and married Paul Simon a week later.”",
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                        "text": "The rural Chinese in Henan Province mixed alcohol and business like you wouldn’t believe. Perhaps as a result, they also had a charming nationalistic blind spot: they honestly believed they could out-drink everyone else on the planet. As an Irish-American who outweighed them by 50 pounds, I had come to find this both amusing and useful.",
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                        "text": "Doctors are taught in medical school that people ususally underreport their alcohol and drug use, so we genreal double the amount we're told. Don't be insulted if your doctor asks follow-up questions about yout drinking. We're trying to be diligent so we don't miss an alcohol or drug disorfer that could be amenable to treatment.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I want a drink. I want fifty drinks. I want a bottle of the purest, strongest, most destructive, most poisonous alcohol on Earth. I want fifty bottles of it. I want crack, dirty and yellow and filled with formaldehyde. I want a pile of powder meth, five hundred hits of acid, a garbage bag full of mushrooms, a tube of glue bigger than a truck, a pool of gas large enough to drown in. I want something anything whatever however as much as I can.",
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                        "text": "Orientation in time, space, and status are the essentials of social existence, and the Balinese, although they make very strong spirits for ceremonial occasions, with a few startling exceptions resist alcohol, because if one drinks one loses one's orientation. Orientation is felt as a protection rather than as a strait jacket and its loss provokes extreme anxiety.",
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                        "text": "Accordingly if the devil should say, 'Do not drink,' you should reply to him, 'On this very account, because you forbid it, I shall drink, and what is more, I shall drink a generous amount. Thus one must always do the opposite of that which Satan prohibits. What do you think is my reason for drinking wine undiluted, talking freely, and eating more often, if it is not to torment and vex the devil who made up his mind to torment and vex me.",
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                        "text": "“If you want to keep your dignity intact, stay away from tequila.”",
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