---
title: "6 Alcohol Quotes By Chelsea Handler"
description: "6 Alcohol quotes by Chelsea Handler. Plus more from Chelsea Handler and more Alcohol sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6df/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_my-mother-agreed-to-aid-my-abuse-of-alco_50274.jpg"
---

> [“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/my-mother-agreed-to-aid-my-abuse-of-alcohol-but-only-if-i-promised/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6df/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_my-mother-agreed-to-aid-my-abuse-of-alco_50274.jpg)

> [“I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-have-a-question-is-it-okay-to-drink-while-you-re-pregnant-if-you-re/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a9/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_i-have-a-question-is-it-okay-to-drink-wh_740477.png)

> [That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/that-s-what-my-perfume-would-smell-like-margarita-and-vodka/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7c/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_that-s-what-my-perfume-would-smell-like_2380935.png)

> [I don't like people who drink decaf coffee it's like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That's like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-don-t-like-people-who-drink-decaf-coffee-it-s-like-what-why-you/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87a/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_i-don-t-like-people-who-drink-decaf-coff_2519920.png)

> [There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/there-are-two-kinds-of-people-i-don-t-trust-people-who-don-t-drink/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea3/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_there-are-two-kinds-of-people-i-don-t-tr_2982923.png)

> [“I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-don-t-like-to-overdose-call-me-old-fashioned/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/708/chelsea-handler-887_alcohol_i-don-t-like-to-overdose-call-me-old-fas_3207778.png)

## Other authors on Alcohol

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 43 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b014/author-johnny-depp-52599.jpg) Johnny Depp 15 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/johnny-depp/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-charles-bukowski-22166.jpg) Charles Bukowski 12 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/charles-bukowski/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b024/author-william-shakespeare-95899.jpg) William Shakespeare 10 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/william-shakespeare/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-elton-john-32880.jpg) Elton John 10 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/elton-john/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-christopher-hitchens-23938.jpg) Christopher Hitchens 10 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/christopher-hitchens/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b025/author-winston-churchill-96197.jpg) Winston Churchill 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/winston-churchill/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-nishan-panwar-14.jpg) Nishan Panwar 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/nishan-panwar/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-robin-williams-80466.jpg) Robin Williams 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/robin-williams/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jimmy-buffett-49948.jpg) Jimmy Buffett 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/jimmy-buffett/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-ernest-hemingway-33795.jpg) Ernest Hemingway 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/ernest-hemingway/)

## More by Chelsea Handler

> [I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-love-people-who-have-such-passion-for-complete-nonsense/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-think-the-people-i-talk-about-are-generally-so-stupid-that-they-don/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/at-some-point-during-almost-every-romantic-comedy-the-female-lead/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/a-federal-grand-jury-is-investigating-allegations-that-david/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/it-s-been-my-experience-that-people-who-make-proclamations-about/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/my-mother-agreed-to-aid-my-abuse-of-alcohol-but-only-if-i-promised/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-try-to-not-overthink-anything-i-don-t-understand-why-nipples-are/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/seeing-your-mother-naked-is-not-something-you-easily-recover-from/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-don-t-like-the-word-alcoholic-i-like-to-think-of-myself-as-an/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-can-remember-my-first-one-night-stand-like-it-was-yesterday-well/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/it-was-quite-obvious-that-without-severe-behavior-modification-this/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/why-he-would-agree-to-install-an-eight-by-eight-foot-fish-tank-and/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/my-negotiation-skills-are-are-on-par-with-george-bush-s-reading/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-will-probably-have-sex-with-eminem-after-the-show-is-over-probably/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

> [“I've found that many of the people who have a passion for karaoke too often have misplaced confidence, which can become aggressive and border…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/i-ve-found-that-many-of-the-people-who-have-a-passion-for-karaoke-too/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

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