--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We're taught to be strong, independent…" description: "\"We're taught to be strong, independent, always handling things our way. But if you do too much, you're the angry Black woman. 'Calm down.' And it's jus..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/a-ja-wilson-6569_angry_we-re-taught-to-be-strong-independent-al_2837808.jpg" --- # We're taught to be strong, independent, always handling… ![“We're taught to be strong, independent, always handling things our way. But if you do too much, you're the angry Black woman. 'Calm down.' And it's just like we always have to fight that. I just got so tired of that.” quote by A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/a-ja-wilson-6569_angry_we-re-taught-to-be-strong-independent-al_2837808.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/a-ja-wilson-6569_angry_we-re-taught-to-be-strong-independent-al_2837808.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/a-ja-wilson-6569_angry_we-re-taught-to-be-strong-independent-al_2837808.jpg) > “We're taught to be strong, independent, always handling things our way. But if you do too much, you're the angry Black woman. 'Calm down.' And it's just like we always have to fight that. I just got so tired of that.” [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote critiques the stereotype that strong, independent Black women are labeled as angry, highlighting societal double standards. **In simple terms:** Strong Black women are unfairly called angry when assertive. Key Takeaway Challenge stereotypes and support emotional freedom. Themes gender race stereotypes emotional labor empowerment Mood reflective empathetic Type social cultural When to use this quote - workplace - social media - personal relationships - activism Key Concepts social psychology intersectionality media representation Questions to Reflect On - How can we change the narrative around Black women's emotions? - What support helps individuals resist such labeling? A Different Perspective Changing deep‑rooted biases is difficult and slow. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Angry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry/) [Calm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/calm/) [Fight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fight/) [Woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/woman/) ## Related quotes > [Going to grocery stores is almost my favorite thing to do to calm myself down. There's something about just walking aisle after aisle making…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shane-carruth/going-to-grocery-stores-is-almost-my-favorite-thing-to-do-to-calm/) [Shane Carruth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shane-carruth/) > [If you fight for yourself just like you fight for everyone else your life will change for the better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/if-you-fight-for-yourself-just-like-you-fight-for-everyone-else-your/) [Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/) > [I just want to hone in on how I like to fight rather than just keep exploring new styles and new martial arts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rory-macdonald/i-just-want-to-hone-in-on-how-i-like-to-fight-rather-than-just-keep/) [Rory MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rory-macdonald/) > [Whenever black women have a point, they're characterized as angry black women, and therefore the thing they're talking about is no longer of importance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amandla-stenberg/whenever-black-women-have-a-point-they-re-characterized-as-angry/) [Amandla Stenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amandla-stenberg/) > [Angry Black White Boy is bananas! Actually, it's a banana split with razor blades in it. Adam Mansbach is the white Richard Wright, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-upski-wimsatt/angry-black-white-boy-is-bananas-actually-it-s-a-banana-split-with/) William Upski Wimsatt > [I'm constantly fighting the angry black woman stigma, the 'You're pretty, you can't be funny' stigma.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-seales/i-m-constantly-fighting-the-angry-black-woman-stigma-the-you-re/) [Amanda Seales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-seales/) > [My acting coach I've got here, Richard Lawson, he's been doing good, just telling me to calm down sometimes and just be me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-durant/my-acting-coach-i-ve-got-here-richard-lawson-he-s-been-doing-good/) [Kevin Durant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-durant/) > [Over the years, I've found that dealing with white people faux pas can be tricky. If I get upset, I could quickly be labeled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franchesca-ramsey/over-the-years-i-ve-found-that-dealing-with-white-people-faux-pas-can/) [Franchesca Ramsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franchesca-ramsey/) > [I'm not angry. And I don't like the thing of the 'angry black woman,' either.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-campbell/i-m-not-angry-and-i-don-t-like-the-thing-of-the-angry-black-woman/) [Naomi Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-campbell/) > [People only say I’m angry because I’m black and I’m a woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamaica-kincaid/people-only-say-i-m-angry-because-i-m-black-and-i-m-a-woman/) [Jamaica Kincaid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamaica-kincaid/) > [The thing about being black in a mostly white industry, particularly as a black male, is you can't lose your temper in the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheo-hodari-coker/the-thing-about-being-black-in-a-mostly-white-industry-particularly/) [Cheo Hodari Coker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheo-hodari-coker/) > [If you're brave enough to search 'Franchesca Ramsey' on YouTube, you'll find a sea of ranting white dudes pinning the 'angry black woman' stereotype…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franchesca-ramsey/if-you-re-brave-enough-to-search-franchesca-ramsey-on-youtube-you-ll/) [Franchesca Ramsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franchesca-ramsey/) > [People think I'm this angry black man walking around in a constant state of rage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/spike-lee/people-think-i-m-this-angry-black-man-walking-around-in-a-constant/) [Spike Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/spike-lee/) > [People only say I'm angry because I'm black and I'm a woman. But all sorts of people write with strong feeling, the way I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamaica-kincaid/people-only-say-i-m-angry-because-i-m-black-and-i-m-a-woman-but-all/) [Jamaica Kincaid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamaica-kincaid/) > [When Shonda Rhimes writes her autobiography, it should be called How to Get Away With Being an Angry Black Woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alessandra-stanley/when-shonda-rhimes-writes-her-autobiography-it-should-be-called-how/) Alessandra Stanley ## More by A'ja Wilson > [There are so many standards that people want you to meet, but you're never going to meet them all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/there-are-so-many-standards-that-people-want-you-to-meet-but-you-re/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [Due to my collegiate accolades, it was a goal but it was something that I kinda had at the back of my head that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/due-to-my-collegiate-accolades-it-was-a-goal-but-it-was-something/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [I come from teams where they expect me to do a lot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/i-come-from-teams-where-they-expect-me-to-do-a-lot/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [Scouting, man, it's so different up here in the W. Because in college, we'd have all of this time between games. So we'd spend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/scouting-man-it-s-so-different-up-here-in-the-w-because-in-college-we/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [My dad had always encouraged me to play basketball, he didn't push me too much at first - he wanted me to try out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/my-dad-had-always-encouraged-me-to-play-basketball-he-didn-t-push-me/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [As Black women, there's so much pressure on us to be everything to everyone. We're expected to wear so many different hats, and to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/as-black-women-there-s-so-much-pressure-on-us-to-be-everything-to/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [If you would have asked me when I was 16 would I play in the WNBA, I probably would have laughed in your face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/if-you-would-have-asked-me-when-i-was-16-would-i-play-in-the-wnba-i/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [Mary J. Blige and 2000s R&B, I love it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/mary-j-blige-and-2000s-r-b-i-love-it/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [You could ask any of my closest friends - they know I'm going to speak what's on my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/you-could-ask-any-of-my-closest-friends-they-know-i-m-going-to-speak/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [During my rookie year, my parents always talked about me needing vegetables. I was like, 'I'm not a cook. I'm not a chef. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/during-my-rookie-year-my-parents-always-talked-about-me-needing/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [Proving the haters wrong is fun, and you're able to play freely when there aren't expectations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/proving-the-haters-wrong-is-fun-and-you-re-able-to-play-freely-when/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [I'm trying to use my voice to bring people together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/i-m-trying-to-use-my-voice-to-bring-people-together/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [I love candles, they help me relax.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/i-love-candles-they-help-me-relax/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [I was a really weird kid. My head was huge. I had a skinny body, long arms. My kneecaps were oddly big. I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/i-was-a-really-weird-kid-my-head-was-huge-i-had-a-skinny-body-long/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) > [Yes, you see me in a uniform. Yes, you can see the banners, the trophies and the rings. But behind all that, I'm a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-ja-wilson/yes-you-see-me-in-a-uniform-yes-you-can-see-the-banners-the-trophies/) [A'ja Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) [Explore all 98 A'ja Wilson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-ja-wilson/) ## More Angry quotes > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [There's only so much for a man to take...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsten-gilchrist/there-s-only-so-much-for-a-man-to-take/) Kirsten Gilchrist > [It is afraid of an informed, angry public demanding the constitutional government it was promised - and it should be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-snowden/it-is-afraid-of-an-informed-angry-public-demanding-the-constitutional/) [Edward Snowden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-snowden/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying or getting overly angry or to maintain control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-haysbert/sometimes-you-have-to-laugh-to-keep-from-crying-or-getting-overly/) [Dennis Haysbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-haysbert/) > [When you're frustrated with people, when they've made you angry, it just may be because you haven't given them enough time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-pausch/when-you-re-frustrated-with-people-when-they-ve-made-you-angry-it/) [Randy Pausch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-pausch/) > [When I was writing 'Black Panther,' on one level, I was angry because DC would never let me write 'Batman,' so I was doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-priest/when-i-was-writing-black-panther-on-one-level-i-was-angry-because-dc/) [Christopher Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-priest/) > [Another step had her backed up against the wall, and he braced his arms on both sides of her. "I'm beginning to look forward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johanna-lindsey/another-step-had-her-backed-up-against-the-wall-and-he-braced-his/) [Johanna Lindsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johanna-lindsey/) > [I'm an angry guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-gandolfini/i-m-an-angry-guy/) [James Gandolfini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-gandolfini/) > [Apparently, I'm the angriest man. I don't know. It's just an interpretation. If it was someone else, they might be called focused or competitive.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alun-wyn-jones/apparently-i-m-the-angriest-man-i-don-t-know-it-s-just-an/) [Alun Wyn Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alun-wyn-jones/) > [In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-hanks/in-the-1998-oscars-i-found-myself-in-the-bathroom-in-a-stall-next-to/) [Tom Hanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-hanks/) > [Of course I get angry, but I want to use my brain a little bit and not just smash things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kacey-musgraves/of-course-i-get-angry-but-i-want-to-use-my-brain-a-little-bit-and-not/) [Kacey Musgraves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kacey-musgraves/) > [“Rather than being incensed by the nature of the bruise, maybe we should be inspired by the possibilities in the bruise.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/rather-than-being-incensed-by-the-nature-of-the-bruise-maybe-we/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) [Browse all 3,857 Angry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We're taught to be strong, independent, always handling things our way. But if you do too much, you're the angry Black woman. 'Calm down.' And it's just like we always have to fight that. 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