Funny SMS / Text Messages

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said “CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA” & died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don’t study,so i got rid of it

Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was:
We make your dreams come true…

Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?