Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

A boy came running in the kitchen,
Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!

A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

Diff B/W Ignorance & selfcontrol?

When u c mirror & u don't laugh at yourself,
that is ignorance!

&
When i look at u & i don't laugh,
thats called self control:-)

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldnt believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didnt see her......
Tuesday and wednesday passed too.....
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
Corner of one eye;)

Dil diya tha MOHABBT ki nishani samajh kar,
Wo kha gaya use BIRYANI samajh kar.
Khoon-e-jiger B na chora zalim ne,
Wo B pi gaya LIMON PANI samajh kar.

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

A man was dying of cancer.
His son asked him:
dad why do you keep on telling
everyone that your dying of AIDS.

He replied:
"So that when i die no 1 will touch ur mom"